Do You Have a Hubcap Diamond Star Halo?

While driving on an errand, I glanced at the gauges on my dashboard and noticed that the temperature was running high.  A mile or so down the road, the needle was all the way up to the red range of “H”!  I pulled over, knowing I had to add water to my radiator to get the rest of the way home.

Dash of 1979 Kougar sports car

Not my car, but a sweet ride! Photo by Mr.choppers via Wikimedia Commons

The good news is that chivalry is not dead!  Two different men asked if everything was okay; had I requested, I’m sure they would have helped.  But I recalled an incident back in college when I needed to change my tire.  I was doing just fine with the task until some guy decided that a petite young woman shouldn’t be doing such an automobile repair; he insisted that he take over…and promptly broke the bolt off the wheel.  I ended up with two repairs — the flat tire and the wheel.  Gee, thanks!  Since then, I’ve wondered if men believe that by virtue of the Y chromosome, they are all gifted with mechanical ability and car knowledge that women don’t possess.

All too often, however, they feel pressured into thinking they should know stuff merely because they are men — like how to jump start a car, how to make minor repairs to household appliances, how to fire up a grill, how to throw a football, and how to please a woman.

Guess what?  All that stuff is learned.  Some guys are more natural than others, but skills are learned.  Husbands don’t automatically know where their wives like to be touched any more than they automatically know how to do an oil change.  They don’t usually arrive to the bedroom on Day 1 and set off multiple-orgasm fireworks.

The great thing is that most people learn best by doing.  (Now there’s a class your guy might happily sign up for!)  Tell him, show him, guide him — gently and without criticism — what turns you on.

A key principle in Christian marriage should be “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12).   Enroll one another in courses entitled Pleasing My Spouse 101 (then 201, 301, etc.).  You’ll never graduate from this program because we change and grow throughout the years.  But the homework can be so fun that you won’t mind the continuing education!

Don’t assume that he knows what you like.  Don’t assume you know what he likes.  Even if you’ve read a manual somewhere, your make and model is a little different from any other.  Get to know how his engine runs.

Before you know it, he’ll be singing “You’re built like a car…” — which I never really took to be a compliment.  But apparently it is.

3 thoughts on “Do You Have a Hubcap Diamond Star Halo?

  1. Heather

    Ok, I know I know the song, but I just can’t place it. It’s driving me crazy because I can hear the line being sung in my head, but can’t remember the lyrics before or after it. LOL.

    But back to the meaning of your post… This is a tough one, when the spouse is not teachable. Early on in our marriage, mine was not. It’s getting better in that area. But I think some men do think that they were born with that knowledge (or at least they were supposed to be) and aren’t humble enough to receive direction, even when it doesn’t come as criticism. Glad we’re now moving in the right direction.

  2. J

    The song (Bang a Gong) was recorded by T. Rex and also covered by the Power Station.

    I agree with you Heather that it can be tough. I’ve heard men say that they want to be our heroes, so it can be hard to admit they don’t know everything. I am personally partial to guiding without words or ooh-ing and ah-ing like crazy when hubby finds a great thing (even if it was by accident).

    As you grow in intimacy, hopefully you can talk more openly. And reassure your hubby that he is absolutely your hero! In fact, try yelling “Superman!” at the top of your lungs next time it’s going particularly well. See how that works. 😉

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