Everyone over 30 understands the quote “Youth is wasted on the young” by George Bernard Shaw. I look at flat-tummy teenage girls who actually look good in skinny jeans and think, “Good luck with that in twenty years!”
Of course, some of them will still look fabulous. (Demi Moore is beyond explanation.) But they won’t look like they did when they were 20. And more importantly, they won’t feel like they did then either.
So how does getting older affect your sex life? Here are a few things that can get out of whack as we age.
Joints. It simply isn’t as easy to get into certain positions once your joints begin to break down. In fact, at some point not all the groaning is due to sexual pleasure; some of it is from the effort of body movement. Still, groaning is groaning. I’ll take it.
Aching muscles. The other day, my husband and I found a bit of humor when I asked him to rub my naked body with Ben-Gay instead of massage oil. My, how it changes over the years! Yet, we chuckled; he took care of my tired muscles; and the end result was a great session of intimate lovemaking nonetheless.
Longer to get aroused. Like an older model car, it can take longer to get everything revved up. So what! This simply means that you can take more time to explore one another’s bodies and heat up the engines. The hotrod still makes it around the track, you know.
Lower frequency. Most men desire sex a bit less as they age because it takes the body more time to replenish sperm. Also, women can take longer to lubricate as their hormones change over the years. So maybe 2-3 times a week instead of 2-3 times a day is your preference; or less than that. But you can spend just as much time in physical intimacy if you take longer to make love. For instance, if before you had five 15-minute sessions per week, that’s 75 minutes. Now you might make love three times a week, but take 25 minutes each time. Like I said, same amount of lovemaking.
Stuff sags. A female friend of mine once apologized to her husband that her breasts were sagging as she aged, to which he responded, “I don’t care as long as they sag near me.” So what if you’ve got love handles! They are called love handles for a reason! If you’ve forged a fabulous intimate relationship, your honey should desire you from top to bottom, even as it is all moving in that direction.
I have to admit that I am not quite far enough into the aging process to know what else is going to go. I wonder if it isn’t God’s blessing that just as we start to sag and wrinkle everywhere, our vision starts to go too. After all, will my honey really see how prunish I’ve become over the years, or will I look as beautiful to him as ever as he squints to focus?
But I plan to be having sex with my husband until the day I die. In my old age, I hope the nursing home catches us visiting each other for a little nighttime nooky and issues severe warnings about what we’re doing to one another’s heart rates! Wrinkled and creaking though he may be, I will always look at my husband as my intimate bed partner — the one who makes my heart race at 25, 55, and 85.
And if I die in the sack, oh well. As many have said, what a way to go!
Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?
My, how it changes over the years!