Getting Older, Having Sex

Everyone over 30 understands the quote “Youth is wasted on the young” by George Bernard Shaw.  I look at flat-tummy teenage girls who actually look good in skinny jeans and think, “Good luck with that in twenty years!”

Of course, some of them will still look fabulous.  (Demi Moore is beyond explanation.)  But they won’t look like they did when they were 20.  And more importantly, they won’t feel like they did then either.

So how does getting older affect your sex life?  Here are a few things that can get out of whack as we age.

Joints.  It simply isn’t as easy to get into certain positions once your joints begin to break down.  In fact, at some point not all the groaning is due to sexual pleasure; some of it is from the effort of body movement.  Still, groaning is groaning. I’ll take it.

Aching muscles.  The other day, my husband and I found a bit of humor when I asked him to rub my naked body with Ben-Gay instead of massage oil.  My, how it changes over the years!  Yet, we chuckled; he took care of my tired muscles; and the end result was a great session of intimate lovemaking nonetheless.

Longer to get aroused.  Like an older model car, it can take longer to get everything revved up.  So what!  This simply means that you can take more time to explore one another’s bodies and heat up the engines.  The hotrod still makes it around the track, you know.

Lower frequency.  Most men desire sex a bit less as they age because it takes the body more time to replenish sperm.  Also, women can take longer to lubricate as their hormones change over the years.  So maybe 2-3 times a week instead of 2-3 times a day is your preference; or less than that.  But you can spend just as much time in physical intimacy if you take longer to make love.  For instance, if before you had five 15-minute sessions per week, that’s 75 minutes.  Now you might make love three times a week, but take 25 minutes each time.  Like I said, same amount of lovemaking.

Stuff sags.  A female friend of mine once apologized to her husband that her breasts were sagging as she aged, to which he responded, “I don’t care as long as they sag near me.”  So what if you’ve got love handles!  They are called love handles for a reason!  If you’ve forged a fabulous intimate relationship, your honey should desire you from top to bottom, even as it is all moving in that direction.

I have to admit that I am not quite far enough into the aging process to know what else is going to go.  I wonder if it isn’t God’s blessing that just as we start to sag and wrinkle everywhere, our vision starts to go too.  After all, will my honey really see how prunish I’ve become over the years, or will I look as beautiful to him as ever as he squints to focus?

But I plan to be having sex with my husband until the day I die.  In my old age, I hope the nursing home catches us visiting each other for a little nighttime nooky and issues severe warnings about what we’re doing to one another’s heart rates!  Wrinkled and creaking though he may be, I will always look at my husband as my intimate bed partner — the one who makes my heart race at 25, 55, and 85.

And if I die in the sack, oh well.  As many have said, what a way to go!

Will you still need me

Will you still feed me

When I’m sixty-four?

– Lennon/McCartney

My, how it changes over the years!

8 thoughts on “Getting Older, Having Sex

  1. Anonymous

    My dh and I have been married 32 years. Our bodies have changed thru the years but the sex is better now than when we were younger. A good O can make the aches and pain go away 🙂

    I found your blog about a month ago and I enjoy it so much!

  2. J

    I agree w/you! Aging can make things interesting, but I like sex more now than when I was younger. (Hey, after all that time, we’re better at it!)

    Thanks for the compliment!

  3. Anonymous

    Love it! and after 23 years together, it’s true, it just gets better. But, oh, what I wouldn’t give to have the knowledge of now, with the body/youth of then. Course…then we might not have gotten anything done at all! 🙂

  4. Anonymous

    I hate to sound vain, but I really miss my boobs! They used to be so nice and round and perky…. Two kids and a total of 4 years nursing and they’re “rocks in socks”. Hubby still loves them, but I sure don’t feel the same. 🙁

  5. Julie Sibert

    Once again Mrs. HotHolyHumorous… fabulous post!

    As for Demi Moore, yeah… she is a freak of nature. But, she also probably doesn’t have to do her own laundry, clean her own house or balance her checkbook. I’m not knocking the gal, but she likely has oodles of time available for working out, not to mention personal trainers, private gyms, exclusive Yoga classes, etc etc. Plus she’s keeping up with a husband who is 15 years younger than her, so that probably adds some energy to the mix.

    I loved the line in your post near the top… “Good luck with that in twenty years!” Ha! That’s exactly what I think every time I see a young’un with a flat tummy. 🙂

  6. Hot Mama

    Great post! As well as great comments. BTW, about Demi Moore’s body, I read a few years ago that she spent $150 grand on it, so… were we all to have $150 thousand to spend on our own bodies, well, you get where I’m going.

  7. J

    Hot Mama, thanks for sharing about Demi’s body. I thought she must have a Faustian deal. If I had $150K, however, I think I’d buy a new car, my kids’ college, and vacations. My aging body would have to just keep sagging a bit!

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