3 Practical Tips for a Sexier You

Have you ever noticed that body image is an issue for us gals? If we don’t feel sexy, we don’t want to have sex.

Psalm 139:14But short of spa treatments, a personal trainer, or plastic surgery, what’s a lady to do when she wants to feel better about the beautiful body God gave her? You know, that body with love handles, wrinkles, varicose veins, or whatever.

Here are three things I’ve discovered that make me feel much better about myself — and they are pretty easy to do.

Exercise. I am not talking personal trainer, although if you have the money to spend, go right ahead. I mean being more active. For some, that may involve training to run a marathon; if so, good for you! For normal people like me who believe that long-distance running is only worthwhile when being chased by a persistent grizzly bear, it may mean aerobics, hiking, swimming, lifting weights, etc. If you’re looking for a physical activity that suits you, Buzzle.com has some pretty good lists.

Among 7 Benefits of Physical Activity are improved mood, more energy, better sleep, and spark in your sex life. According to Mayo Clinic, “Regular physical activity can lead to enhanced arousal for women. And men who exercise regularly are less likely to have problems with erectile dysfunction than are men who don’t exercise.” Well, okay then.

Exercise also helps control weight and tone muscles, meaning that we ladies will be sporting prettier bodies to show off to the hubby.

Looking good, feeling good, arousing good . . . what’s not to like about those results?

Still, it’s hard to get started if you haven’t been moving much. Yet adding exercise a few times a week for 30 minutes or more isn’t too much ask, especially when you’ll feel sexier in the long run. Try Dustin Riechmann and Tony DiLorenzo’s Fit Marriage if you’re looking for an exercise program you can do with or without your spouse; their plan requires 30 minutes, 5 days a week.

Well-fitting clothes. It’s a fact that a lot of you are wearing garments that are either the wrong size or do not flatter your body type. And you are much more beautiful than that! Whatever your personal style, there are clothes to enhance your best features and play down the ones you’re not so crazy about.

Have thunder thighs? Don’t wear skinny jeans. Arm fat? No sleeveless blouses. Muffin top? No tissue-thin stretchy tees. You get my point. Dress Your Body Type and other sites have tips for knowing what will look best on you.

Also get out of the rut of thinking “I’m a size 12.” You may be a size 12 in some brands and a size 16 in others. You want something that fits, no matter what the number or letter on the tag says. You’re the only one who sees that tag anyway. Since t-shirts have gotten smaller (have you noticed that?!), I’ve gone up a full size when buying. I want clothes that fit me, not an American Doll collection.

One more point here. Get a professional to help you determine your bra size. A well-fitting bra can make a big difference in how you feel about those beauties gracing your chest. If you’re especially small or large-breasted, you may need to hunt down places that carry your size and pay more for your bras or watch for sales. Most department and lingerie stores will help you figure out the best size and style to make you look and feel good about your shape.

Posture. Did you ever think this would be on my list? However, posture has a huge impact in how you feel about yourself. Standing and sitting up straight not only relieves tension on your back and shoulders, but aligns your body parts in an attractive way. Look at celebrities when they appear on talk shows. Do they slump in their chairs?

The best way I’ve heard to create good posture is to imagine that you have a string running from your tail bone up through your spine and out the top of your head. Imagine pulling on that string to tighten it. Then take a deep breath and exhale completely. Your torso will stretch up and your shoulders will fall back and down. By the way, your back will not be completely straight with good posture; you have natural curves in your back which need to remain there.

When you have good posture, your tummy is tucked in, your chest is pushed out, and you feel relaxed. You show off the best you and appear more confident . . . and sexy. In fact, I had a male friend in college state that a woman’s sex appeal is most tied to how she carries herself. I think there’s something to that. I certainly know that I do not look my best slouched on the couch with potato chip crumbs littering my tummy pouch.

There you go: My 3 practical tips for a sexier you! Because when you feel better about how you look, you can strut into that bedroom with hubby and say, “You are lucky to have gorgeous me, and you are going to get lucky tonight.”

He can strut later when the two of you are done. (Some guys do seem to swagger, don’t they?)

So what are your tips for feeling better about your body? How do you help yourself feel sexy?

8 thoughts on “3 Practical Tips for a Sexier You

  1. Rachael Younger

    When I feel unsexy, like when I was still poochy from having a baby or its *that* time, I can ask Hubby to tell me what he thinks of my body, or I can remind myself of what he says often… that he wants me and that he loves my body. The hard part is believing that he will tell me the truth, and that he really does like my body.

    We women sometimes refuse to believe what people tell us, we are arrogant and prideful and think that we know better than everyone out there. Ladies — We often don’t know the truth of the matter — you don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful!

  2. Greg

    “Ladies–We often don’t know the truth of the matter–you don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful!”

    May I say a hearty “Amen!” to that? 🙂

  3. J

    Rachael and Greg – I agree with you both! I think most women are far more attractive than they give themselves credit for. My hope was to suggest some things that will help us wives FEEL as sexy as we are and present ourselves to our hubbies that way. 😉

  4. kurlyfryz

    My favorite exercise is walking. If you aren’t active already, just walking a mile a day (20 min for me at a medium pace), 5 days a week, gives you most of the benefit of more rigorous exercise, but it doesn’t take near as much effort or new clothes or driving anywhere. If you have sidewalks or streets, you have a place to walk. It’s not only something you can do now, it’s something you can do for the rest of your life. My grandmother walked a mile a day well into her 70s. Combined with eating moderately, she has stayed healthy and trim. A bone condition keeps her from doing that ad much anymore, but she kept it up a long time, and I’m sure it contributes to her good health otherwise. Another perk or walking is that it’s easy to do with friends. Who can talk while running? Not me! But it’s so easy to walk and talk at the same time. Of course other exercise will help you lose weight faster or gain flexibility, but in my opinion you just can’t beat all the benefits from something so simple!

  5. upwithmarriage

    This was a great post, thank you! I like the comment about wearing ‘certain’ clothing around the house that you don’t wear out doors! And it really works too! Not only that, but when you’re training young ladies (I have two daughters) it helps, and is fun, to dress up in a whimiscal ultra feminine style.

  6. Rachel H

    Great tips! May I also recommend considering a boudoir photo shoot with a tasteful, discreet female photographer? I do this for women in Portland and it’s an empowering experience to be photographed masterfully and given a collection of elegant images to share with your husband.

  7. Jen

    The best thing I can to do feel sexier when I don’t feel that way besides all the above is to get up shower, put on nice clothes, do my hair and make up. Just take the time to look as nice as I can for my hubby whether we are going out or not. Not that I don’t shower regularly but I work from home and don’t wear make up every day or my nicest clothes. So taking these extra steps helps me to feel I’m looking nice and representing my husband and family well. 🙂

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