While staring at the December calendar with the usual anxiety that faces me in the holiday crunch, I realized that December 5 marks a full year of blogging! Good grief, how did that happen?
In this past year, I have tackled various topics related to sexuality and marriage from a biblical and, let’s face it, blunt point of view. But I started this blog with my Personal Testimony. And I’ve decided to mark my anniversary this way as well – highlighting the importance of our personal stories of difficulty, faith, healing, and victory.
As young children, we come into this world expecting everyone to cater to our needs, desires, and whims. Oftentimes, they do just that. However, it doesn’t take too long before most of us realize that life isn’t a fairy tale – or maybe that it is (in the original Red Riding Hood, the wolf swallows the girl).
Life is hard. This world is broken by sin and selfishness. We are challenged by natural disasters, physical setbacks, relational heartbreak, and the consequences of our own poor choices. Whether our wounds are delivered by others or self-inflicted, they hurt. Many of them hurt deeply.
We can lose sight of God…if we ever had Him in our view. We can feel that things are hopeless. We can wonder how it will ever get better.
Those of us who remain committed, who call on God’s help, and who time and time again get back up and get back on track find that we emerge stronger than ever. Our faith and will have been tested, and with God’s grace we have come out the other side.
My own testimony begins with a lost teenage girl looking for love in all the wrong places. Some people would have called me promiscuous, but the term I used in my own moments of stark honesty was “slut.” By throwing intense physical closeness into the mix so early in my relationships, I made sure they all exploded within a few months. My heart broke over and over again, and my body was used for someone else’s pleasure more times than I could count.
Finally, I stood at a fork in the road and had to make a decision. Go my own way, or get up again and recommit to getting this love thing right. By the grace of God, I can say that those days are a faint memory. My long marriage to my husband is a great one. I only have eyes for him. I am forgiven. I am whole. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
Moreover, I have a personal testimony as to how God pulled me off the road to self-destruction and bound up my broken heart.
A huge part of continuing to live out Christianity is having a personal story of how God has worked in your life. By now, I have several stories of God’s work in me. After all, it isn’t a one-time thing. Both faith in God and marriage require a daily commitment to doing the right thing and allowing God to mold you over time.
Through this blog, I now have a really cool testimony of how God has taken my broken places in the realm of sexuality and turned them into a ministry of encouragement and help for married couples.
I know people out there have their own stories of how God has worked in their lives. In fact, one of my favorite parts of blogging is hearing from readers. So many of you have amazing wisdom and our own personal testimony.
So here’s the anniversary present I ask from readers: Briefly recount something God has done in your life, your marriage, your faith walk. Share your personal testimony with someone here. They might learn a lot from the rocky road you’ve been on and the victorious path you are now walking. I can’t wait to read the comments!
My favorite story is of the last time I spent with my granddad. God was definitely watching over us as a family.
My wife and I were home for a weekend visit. Granddad and I went to play golf Saturday morning (he introduced me to the game). I happened to take my camera, which I never did. About half-way through the course I suddenly remembered that I had it in my pocket and snapped a few pictures.
Sunday after church the whole family gathered at Mom’s house for a grilled lunch. The weather was fabulous and we all had a great time.
A couple of weeks later he became ill and passed away early the next morning. My last memory of him is the weekend we spent together, though. The pictures that I took were the most recent and helped to cheer everyone up. That family gathering was a rare occurance, happening perhaps twice a year.
Yes, God definitely blessed us, putting together this string of events that we were all able to enjoy.
J, happy “blogging” anniversary! 🙂 May God grant you another year of boldly sharing the truth about biblical sex and intimacy.
My relationship with my husband was a “married” one long before we ever tied the knot. It caused long term damage to our married sex life…having to get over the guilt of giving in to sex to learning that it is okay…etc. I was always the more “religious” one, confusing my spouse who did not grow up in the Christian world. It took a year of cancer for God to be able to work the miracles in our relationship that we needed. Now starting fresh with the Lord’s help, to be honest and open with each other in our weaknesses, and meeting each others needs. It’s almost like being a newlywed again! One thing sustained our marriage through it all…prayer (from everywhere) and seeking the Lord first (it only takes one spouse to start a spiritual waterfall of grace and mercy). God did all the rest.
I just found your blog yesterday and am very excited about it. My husband commits to reading “The Generous Husband” and “The Generous Wife” just wasn’t quite what I was looking for. I was very happy to come across your blog because it seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. Writing from a married biblical standpoint that talks about marriage and sex but doesn’t beat around the bush about it all so thank you for that. I am very excited to start becoming a regular follower of your blog.
As far as a testimony story, my husband and I are in the middle of one that is turning out quite great. My husband is a sleep tech. He works nights in a neurological institute running sleep studies and helping to diagnose and fix sleep problems. We have talked many times about how this is where we feel God wants us to be (him working in sleep). There has been a lot of confirmation with all that he went through to start this career.
Recently he took his registry exam and failed it by just 5 questions (it is a $500 test). This has been VERY discouraging for us as we thought we were where God wanted us to be. Since then my husband came up with the idea to start our own sleep lab. He sent an email to some good business men that we are close friends with to ask for input. In doing so we got a reply from a friend that is an incredible business man and a wonderful man of God. He has sent us up with his three close friends and business partners. All of them want the same thing we do. Not money so we can have all the fun toys we want but Money for the Kingdom. We have other ministries we want to start up eventually as well as the other 3 guys.
It has been incredible to see what God has Erik (my husband) in sleep but yet not having him pass his exam. Just in the last month in a half, two months this business have begun to flourish. The business plan will be presented to investors in less then a month and we should have funding to get it started in just a month after. To go along with that we moved to Kansas City (from Coeur d’Alene Idaho) just 6 months ago for a job offer for Erik. We weren’t quite sure why God had us come here but now things are becoming more clear all the time. People that we need to meet with and talk to about equipment and computer systems live just 10 min from us and want to meet and tell us more about where we want to get the lab started and help us get it off the ground. Also, the only person we knew moving here has now gotten a job with Erik and has been given a lead job (something he has been looking/hoping for for quite some time) as well as he started going to church and asking Erik more questions about Faith. It is amazing the way that God works.
It might be frustrating not knowing where God wants to or why he takes you somewhere so far away from your family and everyone you know but if you continue to put your trust and faith in him it is amazing the things you learn and are revealed. I cannot wait to be able to start and fund ministries from our new endeavor that is just beginning.
I hope this is encouraging to someone. I know that stories you don’t think much about sometimes can be amazing encouragement for someone else so I hope that this post can be just that.
Congratulations on the anniversary of your blog and thank you for this blog!
Happy Blogging Anniversary!
My (Messy) Story
I had a very ugly childhood (sexually abused by a number of people), grew up in a not too functional family, acquaintance raped as an adolescent, and had a very abusive first marriage. At 27 I thought my life was over for anything good. I planned to raise my daughter and live as a single the rest of my life.
God’s funny. He sent this (persistant) guy and 27 years later I can say that God is just so gracious and able to make good out of the messes of our lives.
I’m happily married, parent of two (I have a son as well), grandma to a new (absolutely beautiful) granddaughter. I love my life – the people in my life, the work and play of my life.
Please be encouraged. God is able.
Matthew – Yes, some of the best ways God works for us is helping us have those great moments with family. I was able to spend some quality time with my grandmother only about a year before she passed. Those memories are precious.
Greg – Thank you! I love the phrase “boldly sharing.” I’m trying. God has to infuse me at times with that boldness.
Anon – That is a difficult issue that isn’t talked about enough. We can bring that guilt into our marriage, and it takes time to hit the reset button and get in line with God’s plan. So glad that God is working in your marriage. Blessings.
Trisha – Thrilled to have you here! Thanks for following. I always wish God would let us see His grand plan before He starts executing it. Wouldn’t that be nice? Oftentimes, however, we just have to trust that God will lead us where we need to go. Blessings for your new venture! (I think a sleep lab is great, by the way. I’ve read some in that area.)
Lori – Thank you! And I teared up with your story. No child should have to endure such personal pain. I’m glad that God redeemed your life, and you have a wonderful husband. What encouragement!
J~
I praise God for your story and your willingness to share. Happy Anniversary to you as a marriage blogger!
As for me . . . I had a fairly normal childhood, but was always told to wait until marriage for sex. Not because it is what God wants, because my parents didn’t want us to end up pregnant! My parents modeled good affection when I was young, but towards high school, their marriage started to fall to pieces. The kids being the glue. My dad is a functional alcoholic, that dynamic causing many issues in my family. I remember just wanting to get out on my own. So as a young girl in high school God brought to me an amazing young man who was himself wanting to get out of his home. God’s hand was with us all the time. As highschool sweethearts, we went off to seperate colleges and eventually after 6 years of dating and managing to keep our virginity in tack, we were married. We were best friends and loved each other deeply, but had no clue how sex was supposed to uplift and bond us. Instead it ended up tearing us apart. But God is the God of redemption. He broke my us many times through our marriage of our selfishness and as we opened up our hearts to His plan for marriage and sex, our One Flesh journey became a beautiful walk. We have made so many mistakes and there is much heartache in our past. But I would truly walk through all of it again to get to where we are today. My hubby is such a blessing to me and he is truly my beloved. God sure knew what he was doing when He put us together and He sure knew what he was doing with His plan for sex and intimacy! We have been married for 12 years, together for 18-All Glory and Honor and Praise to our amazing God! Thanks for all you do, J! Blessings to you and your hubby!
Kate (One Flesh Marriage)
Thank you for sharing your story, Kate! Selfishness is the big thing that gets in the way of God’s plan for marriage and sex. Don’t we all battle with that at some level? I love your statement, however, that “He sure knew what he was doing with His plan for sex and intimacy!”
I would encourage readers who haven’t been over to Kate’s blog at One Flesh Marriage to check it out. http://www.onefleshmarriage.com
Wow! Happy blogging anniversary. I have LOVED reading everyone’s testimony’s. What a treat. I was 20 when I met my husband, we were both from broken dysfunctional homes and though we agreed to wait until marriage for sex we both had been with someone before we met. We married at 22 and our past baggage of hurt relationships and non believing parents made the first few years tough. After our first daughter was born I discovered my husband had a problem with porn that he actually had been struggling since he was in his late teens. Frankly, this rocked my world. I truly thought this was the cardinal sin. I was crushed. I felt used and lied to and like I had been duped into the marriage. There was a horrible darkness over our house and family. The Lord started waking me up in the middle of the night to pray for my husband. I prayed over every room, over his job, over our daughter, our marriage, his struggles. Slowly, with help from friends and our church family we began the road to recovery and healing. We started over and now we are getting ready to celebrate 15 years of marriage. Two daughters later and lots of great stories on how God has used that difficult time. Last year God opened the door for us to start a marriage ministry at our church where we get to love on other marriages. This world is a rough place to live and honestly marriage can be hard. When I started caring more about my husbands eternal life and less about what he could do for me everything changed and I saw him as the man God desired him to be. God has impressed it upon my heart to pray, encourage and cheer him on in our marriage, his career and his relationship with our daughters. I love how your blog encourages me to do just that.
Happy Blogging Anniversary. By the “read” of things, I thought you have been blogging for years…such a pro 🙂
My 2 Month anniversary is coming up in a few days..*smiles*
As for my personal story, my life is a testimony!
One year? That’s it? I figured you’d been at this for ages! However long, I’m glad you write.
I don’t have time now to write my own story, but you’ve got me thinking about it. God is faithful, that is sure.
Thanks so much for sharing your story, Christy. I love this line: “When I started caring more about my husbands eternal life and less about what he could do for me everything changed and I saw him as the man God desired him to be.”
I so appreciate the comments from those who thought I was past a year by now. I do write for my other day gig, so that helps. I love to write, and I’m obviously passionate about passion. Blessings to all of you!
Happy Blogiversary! One year – you should be very encouraged.
I had been in a not-so-good relationship for a couple of years. We were planning to get married, but something strange happened. He got the idea for us to “break up” temporarily just to make sure we were really the ones for each other. We had no intention of making this break permanent, but God did. After a couple of months of being apart I didn’t want to get back with him. I realized so much of what I thought was love, was really infatuation.
When I really knew this was the case was when my now husband called me a couple of months later. The excitement in my heart that Tom had noticed me and wanted to take me out was thrilling!!! We had the best first date and within 8 months we were married – a month before the one year anniversary of my break-up. Only God could do something like that and it work. We’ve been married for nearly 33 years and haven’t looked back once.
Daily I’m grateful for the unexpected change God sent my way.
Thanks for letting me remember. I’m smiling!!!
Pingback: Do You Have a Sexual Story? | Hot, Holy & Humorous