Volunteer for Marital Intimacy Research Today

On Monday, I posted about Fun Findings on Sex — interesting conclusions drawn from studies on sexuality.

When I’ve read about how some of these studies are conducted, I admit to wondering who in their right mind would volunteer for that. For instance, one study involved women masturbating to orgasm while researchers nearby recorded their body’s responses and brain activity. Another asked female participants to “have sex” with a fake penis that had a camera on the inserted end.

Most of us gals cringe at the thought of our next mammogram or pelvic exam, so the idea of being a research participant for a sex study would be like asking us to dance in a thong at the next inaugural ball. We would never agree to that kind of exposure.

But I have news for you! You can be a research participant. You can learn a lot about your body and your sexual responses. You can learn about your husband’s body and his sexual responses. You can sign up for this research today!

Bed

SEX LAB?
Pic by Dorehowhatz via Wikimedia Commons

Because the very best information about what works for your sex life will be discovered in your own bedroom. You and your husband will be both the research participants. No extra equipment or cameras needed. No third parties to observe you. No fear of exposing yourself and your private sex life to others.

You see, I and others can give you a lot of information about what we have discovered generally. Some things are simple fact — like the clitoris existing solely for the wife’s pleasure — but how you use those facts is something you and your spouse should explore and discover together. And the specifics of what works with your particular bodies in your particular marriage may be different from the general prescription.

Here’s an example. Most wives can more easily achieve orgasm through manual or oral stimulation of their clitoris than through vaginal intercourse. That’s a general conclusion that has been studied and found to be true. But in your marriage, it may be that you reach climax more easily through your husband’s penis making internal contact with your G-spot. You figure that out by researching with your husband what feels good.

Research (noun). Investigation or experimentation aimed at the discovery and interpretation of facts, revision of accepted theories or laws in the light of new facts, or practical application of such new or revised theories or laws. Merriam-Webster.com.

I like the idea of investigating my husband and experimenting in our sexual encounters so that we can discover facts, revise what we’re doing, and apply our knowledge in a practical way. Sign me up for that research study!

Go ahead and gather knowledge about sex from reputable medical and Christian resources. I’m certainly in favor of learning anatomy and techniques that will help in building a quality sex life in your marriage. I have personally benefited from gathering and using such information, and I have committed to provide information in this blog that might help your sex life.

However, you have to test out what you learn in your own marriage. It’s okay to treat your bedroom a bit like a lab and test those theories of which touches, positions, environments, and techniques produce the results you both want in your marital intimacy. Perform your own research. Consider your findings. Apply what you’ve learned.

Volunteer for your own marital intimacy research today!

I have a feeling your spouse would enjoy being your lab partner.

8 thoughts on “Volunteer for Marital Intimacy Research Today

  1. Elizabeth@Warrior Wives

    Oh. Wow. Are those actual research studies? You’ve got to be making them up!! That’s just…crazy.

    I think that so many couples rush to books and blogs and other people to try to figure out what they *should* be doing in the bedroom when you’re absolutely right…the best place to do research and acquire information is in your own bedroom with your own husband. Granted, some people need a little outside help, but for the most part, we could all benefit from starting out alone together.

    1. J

      Oh my, I won’t even begin to describe the study I saw in which a researcher simulated the bull’s motion on a sow to study hog sexuality. (The ultimate purpose was to learn more about human sexuality, by the way.) That should definitely be in Mike Rowe’s Dirty Jobs list. LOL.

      I think we do need to get some information and troubleshoot our sex lives sometimes, but couples can start looking more to what a “sexpert” says they should do in their bedroom than what their own spouse desires and enjoys. Thanks, Elizabeth!

  2. Megan

    My hubby and I were just laughing about this last week, discussing a documentary on babies in the womb that starts at the very beginning…he was like “who actually agrees to do this? And how many shots do they have to do? How many couples do they have to use to get all the shots they need?” So when I saw your post title I cracked up and forwarded it to him, said I think we need to definitely study more. He agreed it would be mutually beneficial. 😉

  3. Anonymous

    I think some research is actually conducted with the right motives–to help resolve real problems. But as you’ve noted, there’s an awful lot that’s sadly just a continuation of the Kinsey mindset.

  4. Lady K

    J, this is awesome. You’re a lifesaver. I’m so happy I came across your blog.

    My husband is all about all things sex. If it weren’t for his faith… in Jesus… He’d be into all the wrong things. One example that he uses to justify reading and listening to audio related to sex is this: [edited out link] He subscribed to her audio podcast. There is some good info mixed in with her crass and vulgar show. I can’t stick with it when turning it on. It makes me want to puke! Also, he thinks it’s ok to watch vulgar movies that involve sex, example, porn… etc. In order to keep my marriage in a state of balance… on occasion I’ll watch with him. I’ve agreed to it occasionally just to keep peace. Once he’s had his fix for the time and we move on to lesser offensive mediums… it’s not bad. The adversary has him convinced it’s ok to do all that… I pray that GOD will take away the vulgarities of it all. Your post here is a great example of this. Thank you!

    I’m using a bit of my anonymity here. I don’t want people to accident upon something I post and take it wrong… I love your blog!

    1. J

      Thanks, Lady K. I appreciate your kind comments.

      I would suggest that you take a look at a recent post called My Husband Wants Me to Dress Like a Porn Star from Jolene Engle of Alabaster Jar. You do not have to watch porn “to keep the peace.” I hope you can find ways to be sexually giving without enabling any sin on his part. My prayers are with you.

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