Using Your Body for Marital Intimacy: What to Do with Your Hips

Look up “hip” in your Bible, and there isn’t much in the way of romance. There is mention of how the behemoth’s strength is in his hips (Job 40:17), but if a husband dared to bring that reference into the bedroom, he’d deserve the glacier-melting glare he got from his wife.

Interestingly enough, the two passages in Song of Solomon in which the husband describes the beauty of his wife’s body (chapters 4 and 7), he skips right over the pelvic area. Legs are described. Waist is described. But not what comes in between, even though it’s a rather important part of the whole deal. Instead, the Lover (husband) primarily refers to his wife’s lady parts with symbolic language, such as “garden.”

Wooden Mannequin showing hips with "Hips, Hips, Hooray!"But the way God designed a woman’s hips allows them to be somewhat of a wonder worker in sexual intimacy with her husband. If she knows how to use them.

So let’s talk, wives.

Using your hips in marital intimacy can be described by the kinds of motions you can make with them.

Tilting. Front-to-back, your hips can work like a pendulum. Tilting them toward your husband can alter the angle of entry and the resulting sensations you both feel. It can also signal to him that you are fully engaged in what’s happening.

When making love face-to-face, you can tilt your hips forward, which may allow your husband to move deeper. In the rear entry position (husband entering his wife’s vagina from behind), tilting your hips backward opens up the area for him to engage more fully.

Rocking. With that same pendulum motion, you can rock your hips forward and backward. This is one of the ways that a wife can take control of some of the thrusting. It is easiest done with the woman-on-top position, where she can pulse her hips in a consistent rhythm.

Altering the speed of rocking can affect whether this is a playful motion that draws out lovemaking or a more intense motion that draws toward climax. Advantages of this position and motion are that the husband has a wonderful view of his wife’s body and he can continue to touch her breasts and clitoris to increase her pleasure.

Wiggling. Wiggling seems the appropriate word for this motion, because it’s kind of like fidgeting your hips around in your chair — only on your husband. This is a sort of tease you can do with your hips and can be very enjoyable as you pay attention to the way your body parts connect and alter slightly with each movement. Be careful not to wiggle too much or too fast, since his erect penis is not meant to be that flexible.

Riding. Oh, how I considered and reconsidered this descriptive word! But that’s really what it is. If you’ve ever been on a horse (or an elephant or a camel — whatever you ride), you know that feeling of your hips bouncing up and down as the animal trots or gallops.

That same up-and-down bouncing motion can be incredibly hot during sex. The wife moves her hips straight up and down, creating the rhythmic thrust for making love. She does the work, but she’s also more in control of her pleasure. If needed, she can slow the pace down to draw out her arousal, possibly making it more likely that she can achieve climax along with her husband during intercourse. Her husband can also signal what he desires by placing his hands outside her hips and guiding her.

Honestly, the best way to “ride” is to plant your feet (think back to the way an equestrian has stirrups to steady her feet). Thus, squatting over your husband will allow more control than kneeling. Your knees and hips can act together to provide that up-and-down motion. If your legs tire, you can change positions to kneeling for a bit and then return to squatting . . . or at this point, you might agree to have your husband just flip you over and take charge (because he’s likely very turned on by how active you are in this sexual encounter).

There you go — ways to use your hips in marital intimacy.

But now I’ve got a couple of popular songs running through my head that relate to this topic. One particular song I learned from Zumba exercise classes, but it seems appropriate to quote here. As Shakira sings:

And I’m on tonight
You know my hips don’t lie
And I’m starting to feel it’s right
All the attraction, the tension
Don’t you see baby, this is perfection

Sure, the song is about dancing, but it seemed to fit. Now go and have fun with those hips and your hubby!

6 thoughts on “Using Your Body for Marital Intimacy: What to Do with Your Hips

  1. Jason@songsix3

    Great instructional for the wives!

    I’m not prepared to share what my lovely bride does with her hips during our lovemaking, but let’s just say…

    I LIKE IT!!!

  2. Pingback: Using Your Body for Marital Intimacy: What to Do with Your Hips | The Seasons of Marriage

  3. Dave 2

    Whether you tilt, rock, wiggle, ride, or thrust the point is to MOVE and move with strong intent. Please, please, please put your bodies into it. Don’t hold back because you feel you will somehow appear wanton by getting completely lost in the moment. The roller coaster ride is always much more fun if you scream and flail about not matter how many times you have ridden it.

  4. K

    I’ve recently discovered your site, and I love it. My husband and I have an adventurous sex life, but your site is helping me with some internal issues I struggle with. Question for the ladies (& gentlemen for your point of view) …. How do you overcome the invading negative thoughts about your body so that you’re more free to move, show off, display, and arouse? I have gained weight in my late 40’s. This has never deterred my husband, by it’s beginning to affect how sexy I feel.

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