I enjoy New Year’s and resolutions. They provide the perfect setting for me to evaluate where I’ve been, where I want to go, and how to get there. I like feeling that, even if I blew it before, this year lies before me untried and waiting for me to achieve some worthy goal. It reminds me of the fresh start we have as Christians when we invariably mess up but, through God’s grace, get back on track and keep moving in the right direction.
One of my resolutions is to read more sexual intimacy books. I’ve read quite a few in the past, but I haven’t tackled as many as I’d like. Thankfully, there are now many Christian books tackling the subject of sexuality in marriage. So far, here’s my reading list for 2014 (books already in my possession, just waiting for me to read), with the book’s description for each.
(Clarification–thanks to a commenter: I’m not endorsing these books. I never endorse anything I haven’t read. These are merely books on my to-be-read list. If I believe they’re worthwhile, I’ll share my review in the future.)
The Sexually Confident Wife by Shannon Ethridge. Maximize the sexual and emotional potential in your marriage! With down-to-earth wisdom based on the experiences of the thousands of women she’s counseled, Shannon Ethridge–author of the million-plus-selling Every Woman’s Battle series–shows women how to create the healthy, exhilarating sex lives they (and their husbands) desire.
I also hope to get to another book recently released by intimacy author and speaker Shannon Ethridge, The Passion Principles.
Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality by Rob Bell. Sex God is an enlightening exploration of sexuality and spirituality. With profound beauty and insight, Bell addresses the truism that we can’t talk about ourselves as sexual beings without asking who made us that way. For progressive Christians and readers who enjoy the writings of Donald Miller, N.T. Wrighter, Brian McLaren and Timothy Keller, Rob Bell is a pioneer among those seeking a new kind of Christian teaching.
This book has been recommended to me several times, but I’ve somehow managed to keep it sitting on my ereader for about a year. I will remedy that soon.
The Kosher Sutra: Eight Sacred Secrets for Reigniting Desire and Restoring Passion for Life by Shmuley Boteach. (Not written by a Christian, but a Jewish rabbi.) Shmuley Boteach delivers a much-needed guide to reigniting desire in our relationships while at the same time creating renewed energy in every aspect of our lives. Boteach’s Eight Secrets are the key to reawakening our dormant desires and releasing ourselves from the complacency that has taken hold of far too many of us.
I actually started this one last year, read a couple of chapters, and got sidetracked. His perspective is interesting, however, so I want to finish.
Kiss Me Like You Mean It: Solomon’s Crazy in Love How-To Manual by David Clarke. How can married couples overcome the obstacles that derailed their desire and return to being “crazy in love”? Blending humor and practical advice, Clarke offers answers from the Song of Solomon. Learn to troubleshoot problems, put each other first, employ praise, have fun, flirt, and rediscover the lost art of a great kiss!
I bought this book on a whim one day, just because I loved the cover, the description, the aim of the book. We’ll see how it goes!
Crazy Good Sex: Putting to Bed the Myths Men Have about Sex by Dr. Les Parrott. In this practical guidebook filled with straight talk, psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Les Parrott shares six secrets that can enhance a couple’s sexual intimacy. Parrott offers crucial facts and practical insights to help men and their wives experience the best sex they’ve ever had.
The Parrotts have long written about Christian marriage and intimacy, and this book in particular caught my eye. Written for men, I suspect it will give me some good insight.
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I’d like to add a couple more books to my list. So I’d love to hear your suggestions for the best Christian sexual intimacy books you’ve read.
Also, if you wives are looking for one to put on your reading list, Sex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives is now available both as an ebook and in print.
Ebook:
Amazon for Kindle
Barnes & Noble for Nook
Smashwords — several formats available
Print book:
I’m really surprised you endorsed something from Rob Bell. I think that by mentioning such a controversial person, it makes you controversial by association. I would just avoid endorsing books by controversial people because then your message can be lost in the furor. I really enjoy your website, but if the first thing I had seen on this was an endorsement of Rob Bell, I wouldn’t have ever checked your website again. Thankfully, I’ve been on your website for months, so I’m not scared away 🙂
Perhaps this came across wrong. I’m not endorsing these books! I never endorse something I haven’t read. Indeed, what’s the controversy about Rob Bell? I don’t know him, only that he wrote this book and several people told me it’s a must-read.
You should look into the controversy over his theology so that you can decide for yourself whether or not you feel comfortable ‘promoting’ his book. (I know you’re not actually promoting it, but you should be educated on the controversy. I read Sex God quite a while back and honestly, I didn’t see that it had anything to really do with sex. Maybe I was missing something while reading….
Thanks.
Let me reiterate to anyone reading this: I am NOT promoting Rob Bell or his theology. I wouldn’t suggest anyone buy his book. I’ve already owned it for a while, purchased long before I heard about this controversy. I’ve now read up a little on Bell, and it appears to me that his current teachings rightly cause serious concern in the Christian community. The Bible itself is always, always, always my foundation to discern truth, and anything I read on the subject of sexuality — be it from a Christian author or a secular source — must comport with what I know from God’s Word to receive any endorsement from me.
Thanks for your encouragement to research the subject myself.
We need to be sure that we recognize that just because someone has a faulty theology, even in a radical way, does not mean that they do not have good ideas on some issues. Reading those with whom you disagree is a time honored tradition in the history of Christian thought. The problem we face in this culture is that people are taught WHAT to think rather than HOW to go about thinking. I teach in a tradition that is about as conservative as you can get and I can tell you that this is a huge problem. When students fail to process what they read, hear, and watch, simply allowing it to flow through their minds the result is intellectual death. Christianity has always been a thinking religion, and for good reason.
What is a book that you would recommend to read as a couple. We’ve been married 23 years and have always had pretty good sex life (ups and downs of course), but as my husband is aging (haha) I do notice his drive is decreasing and I am feeling the need to have a good heart to heart about keeping our sex life hot for the sake of our emotional connection, not just the physical part. Does that make sense? This morning he jokingly said to me “well, after last night, you should be good for a couple of weeks now.” I know he was teasing, but I also know that there is a part of him that is seeing sex as more for me than for him lately. He could take it or leave it at times, but knows that it is a need of mine. Anyway… just wondering if you could recommend a good book that would help get us both on the same page.
Good question. Pursuit of Passion by Julie Sibert and Jeff Murphy would be a good read for a couple. Also, Sheet Music by Kevin Leman.
I’m so glad happywife asked that question! I was getting ready to ask, too! Praying for you, happywife. I’m dealing with the same issue.
Perhaps J could address this issue in a blog post 😉 I’ll pray for you too, Lynn. It can be disheartening when I have to always be the one initiating and generally making sure we maintain a healthy frequency.
I’m sorry to be spamming with comments here, but I was wondering if you or anyone has read “Intimacy Ignited” and what you thought. It seems to have great reviews on Amazon.
I read it and thought it was good. But I don’t remember specifics. Anyone else?
Intimacy Ignited is a couples Bible Study book that takes you straight through the Song of Solomon. I think the authors (two married couples) do a really nice job of covering the subject matter and not being too abstract.
Initimate Issues is a great book by two of the authors (the women) who wrote Intimacy Ignited. It’s a book written by women for Christian women. It’s outstanding!!! My wife read it, and it really had a significant, positive impact on her view of her sexuality, marital intimacy in general, and our marriage.
Both books are outstanding.
I haven’t read his books yet but I’ve been hearing a lot about Christopher West’s books on God’s design for sex in marriage. Any thoughts?
I don’t know that name. I’ll look it up and see what I think. Maybe I can add one of his to my list! Thanks.
Also, years ago I listened to an excellent sermon series on the Song of Solomon by Tommy Nelson. I’m sure you could find it on YouTube or downloadable online somewhere.
Thanks! I would love to hear that. 🙂
Hi, I started reading your posts a few months ago and I really enjoy it. I was wondering if you can recommend any books for a woman who was brought up being taught the myth that sex was the only thing men wanted in a relationship and that girls who wanted it were slutty.
Thanks!
Sheila Gregoire does a great job with this in The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun). And for lower-drive ladies, I personally liked Marla Taviano’s Is That All He Thinks About?: How to Enjoy Great Sex with Your Husband.
Hope that helps! And I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog. Thanks.
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