Unfinished & Beautiful with Kate Aldrich

Brad & Kate Aldrich blog at One Flesh Marriage, with Ephesians 5:31 as their inspiration: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

I love their heartfelt posts on marriage in general, and when they cover sexuality, it’s always with biblical spirituality, authenticity, and practicality. If you’re looking for a place to start on their blog, check out their Top 10 Posts of 2015. They also host the 10-Day Sex Challenge in February.

Today, we’re blessed to have Kate with us, who is a fabulously fun woman and wife, and she’s sharing her heart on Feeling Beautiful. Welcome, Kate!

woman portrait .abstract watercolor

I can’t remember the first time it happened. I have no idea where I was or what brought it on. I can’t even remember how I responded. I just know I can’t remember a time when I was not conscious of my own body and compared it to those around me.

Everywhere I went I was inundated with images of what a woman was supposed to look like if she was going to be considered “attractive.” It took me till the beginning of my 30’s and two biological children (one natural & one emergency c-section) until I started to see myself for who I truly am, who God made me to be, and loving that person.

What woman alive has not struggled with her body image?

I think we could search long and hard and never come up with such a woman. It happens younger and younger now. My hubby and I have three kids. Two boys, ages 12 and 10, as well as a 9-year-old girl. We’ve been diligent about protecting our little girl’s mind and heart from the lies the world tries to sell her. Still at 9, she has asked questions about her body or made comments that make my heart cry! She is such a beautiful creation of God, and we are doing to do our best to tell her that every day. Admiring all that she is in Christ.

The question is how do we as wives, whatever age we are, embrace the beauty that God has created in us? The outside and the inside? Here are few of the things I have learned that have helped to change my perspective:

Loving you means taking care of you!

After we had our first son, I began to see how I took care of myself slipping. It was so much easier to just stay in comfy clothes all day. All of my energy was being devoted to someone else, and to be honest, I was running a little low on energy for myself. I was merely trying to survive the day.

It took me a bit of time, but when I was finally getting a little more sleep I had the opportunity to do more. I added exercise three times a week back into my schedule, and it became a time to take care of me. I also made myself take a shower each day and dress in regular clothes. Those simple things really helped me feel better as a wife and mom.

I continue to do this now, although with life sometimes my workouts don’t happen. But you know what? I just pick right up where I left off and get back on my treadmill. There is no sense beating myself up for a missed workout. Life happens. Yet striving to keep regular exercise in your life will help you take care of you!

Choose to believe your husband’s words

My hubby has always sought to lavish me with praise telling me that I am beautiful to him. I would drink it up like a woman in the desert and then, moments later, dispute it. I wanted those words so badly and yet, I couldn’t accept them. All the while he felt like I was calling him a liar. If the world is telling me I am not beautiful, how can I believe my husband thinks that I am?

If the world is telling me I am not beautiful, how can I believe my husband thinks that I am? Click To Tweet

Choosing to believe our husband’s words about our beauty is so important. Your hubby loves and adores you! You need to trust that! When he speaks those things into your life, take them in and say, “Thank you.” You trusted him with your life when you married him, trust him with your beauty!

When you are confident you are beautiful

My hubby says that one of the most beautiful things about me is my confidence. Both in life and in the bedroom. Being a confident person is sexy and beautiful. How did I get to that place, you might ask?

  • Seeking God on who He created me to be and who He is molding me into.
  • Believing that He loves me immensely, beyond words, just as I am.
  • Trusting and believing my hubby that he finds me beautiful.

You are His masterpiece

Five years ago our little girl said she wanted to take dance lessons. For me as a softball and tennis player, I was like “really?” My husband and I are always telling our kids to be who God made them to be, and He made our little girl to dance for Him. As she performed in her first recital, she recited a verse with her entire ballet class: “We are God’s masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10.”

“We are God’s masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10.” Click To Tweet

As I watched our precious, beautiful little girl proclaim who she was in Christ, I was moved to tears. I knew that God was challenging me that I too must believe I am His beautiful masterpiece. I am unfinished — He is still doing a work in me — but I am His masterpiece.

Ladies, we are unfinished and beautiful! When we embrace it, choose to believe it, and live accordingly, life takes on a while new look. I know I am beautiful in my Jesus’ eyes as well as my husband’s. I am unfinished and beautiful. You are too!

Ask God to give you eyes to see yourself as He sees you and trust what he shows you. Know that it is not always easy and there will be times that we allow doubt to creep back in, since we are all human. God wants you to feel your beauty. For a husband there is nothing like when his wife is confident in her beauty. You can be that wife.

Kate AldrichKate and her amazing hubby, Brad, write and speak on all things marriage. In 2009 they followed God’s prompting and founded One Flesh Marriage Ministries, a blog based on their marriage journey and God’s word in Ephesians 5. Brad is the Director of Small Groups and re|engage (marriage ministry) at their home church, the Worship Center. Kate is a homeschooling mom and a natural light portrait photographer. God has given Brad and Kate three amazing blessings, two biological and one adopted, who have enriched their life and marriage. They live in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania where the Amish buggies roam.  You can find their blog at www.onefleshmarriage.com

10 thoughts on “Unfinished & Beautiful with Kate Aldrich

  1. Greg

    “If the world is telling me I am not beautiful, how can I believe my husband thinks that I am?”

    The world constantly manipulates faces, forms, and imagery and then claims (for all intents and purposes) to own the definition of beauty. Massive lie; but hard not to swallow when it’s forced down our throats every day.

    It’s disheartening that even young girls now question their own God-given beauty. I recall a pastor once saying that he was shocked how his young daughter, after watching TV one day, asked him: “Daddy, am I scexy?” [sic] She was so young she couldn’t even pronounce the word, and yet its awful effect was already taking root.

    Reply
  2. Keelie Reason

    Love the post Kate. I completely agree, we need to find our self-worth in Christ. This has been a concept that I keep seeing today.

    It started out with my verse of the day: For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well. Psalm 139:13-14.

    Apparently, God wants me to remember that I am beautiful because of him.

    Reply
  3. Jerry Stumpf

    Kate,

    This is a great post for godly wives to see theirself as God has created them – female and beautiful to their husband.

    A theme in our discussions is to reach deep into the heart of the wives to convey that their husband really LIKES to look at their body. Thank you for this female perspective!

    I may even print it out, with your permission & contact info, of course so I can share it with the folks we speak to at our seminars.

    Jerry – Cracking The Marriage Code

    You and Brad do a wonderful work.

    Reply
    1. Kate Alrich

      Hi Jerry,

      You are more then welcome to print and use this post with sharing that I wrote it and that it was on J’s site, as long as that is ok with J. We appreciate partnering with you in strengthening marriages. Blessings to you and your ministry. Kate

      Reply
  4. Ham

    This topic of believing your husband when he says you’re beautiful presents itself as a teachable moment. There’s so much theology to consider here that I hardly know where to begin, but the first thing that comes to mind is the praise and worship song, “Whose report will you believe. We will believe the report of the Lord.” It doesn’t matter if the entire world says you’re butt ugly, if your husband says you’re beautiful, it’s a MAJORITY and you’re beautiful. End of story! Why? Because as the priest of your household, your husband is speaking for God in that situation. You can call it speaking prophetically, a “word of knowledge,” or “ex cathedra,” depending upon which particular denomination you fancy, but the bottom line here is that it’s as if God Himself has decreed it. And if God says it, then it must be true, because He is incapable of lying. And why is that? It’s because -catch this now – EVERYTHING THAT GOD SAYS COMES TO PASS as a supernatural consequence of Him saying it. That’s the very definition of omnipotence for you!

    But you say, “Yeah, yeah, I hear that, but I’m fifty pounds overweight, etc., etc, so how can I be beautiful?” First, God sees the internal essence of everything, not the superficial surface. My wife had her gynecological checkup this morning. She called me at work to inform me that her Ob-Gyn said all her lady parts were fine. My response was, “Well, I could have told her that!” Yes, I know my wife’s body like the back of my hand, but I also know the sweetness of her spirit. I can see past her so-called “weight issues,” her “self-image concerns,” and any number of other irrelevant things and savor her inner goodness. God can do that, too! The world cannot. Do I have to even ask you who is correct: God or the world? Enough said there.

    Something else to consider is that God is not constrained to view us based upon the moment. Gideon was such a hopeless case (as far as the world was concerned) that he was threshing grain in hiding so his Midianite enemies wouldn’t see him and steal his food. God’s angel spoke to him and called him a mighty warrior. Some theologians see this passage as an example of God’s supposed sense of humor, but that is really a very superficial reading of scripture. God saw Gideon based on the totality of what he would become, not merely what was visible at the moment. Likewise, both your husband and God see you as a work in progress, and so should you! God is not constrained by past, present and future. He sees it all. How could He not, being omniscient? He knows that what is visible now is not the end product.

    Regardless of whether or not you succeed in your attempts to lose those pesky ten pounds, one day you’ll have a glorified, eternal body, lit up from within by the Holy Spirit. So take hope, sister, and rejoice! You are already the apple of your husband’s eye and a princess in the sight of the Lord. Doesn’t get much better than that!

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I agree with so much of what you said!

      One question, however: I can just imagine that wife out there who says, “If my husband speaks for God, and my husband doesn’t think I’m beautiful, then…?” I wouldn’t put that much weight on my husband’s opinion of my looks, and it’s only when my husband is in agreement with God’s purpose for him that his words can be said to reflect God’s own message to us. I suspect we’d agree on that, though. Right?

      Reply
      1. Ham

        Absolutely! I’m not Catholic, but even the Pope doesn’t claim to speak with divine inspiration all the time. And, sad to say, we husbands are shamefully known to speak in a self-serving manner at times. But when a man looks at his wife with an expression of adoration that makes her think he can see directly into her soul and tells her she’s beautiful, he’s speaking for God, baby!

        Reply
  5. Angel Rose

    My husband has said this to me……”Who are you going to believe; the world, whom does not love you? Or me, who does? And he is absolutely right.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.