I could make this post really quick and just say yes.
Or even post a picture of some hunky Hollywood celeb and let that speak for itself. But, of course, that’s not something I want to promote! I don’t seek out photos of shirtless men with six-packs or suave guys with smoldering looks in their overly blue eyes.
But these days, you don’t have to seek anything out. Just walk by an Abercrombie & Fitch, and you’ll see a huge photo of what I just described. Or go see a movie, especially one about superheroes, and you’ll get an eyeful of masculine beauty. Stand in the grocery store line and glance over at the magazine rack, and you’ll be treated to cover models showing off their goods.
Why are men on such rampant display these days? Because women like it.
Women are visual too. I believe they are not as visual as men, based on several reasons. For example, the percentage of men using porn is much higher than women, even though it is growing for women. Romance novels (auditory and imaginative stimulation) are more popular among women. Affairs for women tend to focus on emotional needs more than physical. And basically every deep conversation I’d had with women about sex tells me that the visual is a smaller component of their arousal.
But it is a component. What you see matters.
How does this affect our sexual intimacy?
Watch where and how you look. It’s one thing to recognize that Brad Pitt or Bradley Cooper are good-looking men and another thing altogether to ogle and imagine romantic attention from them. I’ve been in the company of women saying things about male celebrities that I think they’d slap their husbands for saying about female celebrities. Watch where and how you look, ladies. Don’t stoke the fires of lust. That’s sin, y’all — plain and simple.
I’m not blind or dead, so yes, I notice a well-built man…but I don’t linger there. My eyes remain focused on the man I believe is the sexiest guy alive, my husband.
Gaze at your husband appreciatively. Train your eye to notice what’s sexually appealing about your husband’s appearance. Maybe he doesn’t have a six-pack (maybe more like a keg), but he has captivating eyes, or strong, muscular hands, or a rather squeezable butt. (I’m just sayin’.) Figure out what’s worth checking out on your guy and learn to appreciate God’s handiwork there.
Hey, men like to know they look good to their wives. You can certainly express that appreciation aloud. But it’s a bit like the saying: “The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. It’s greener where you water it.” Water that focus on your husband, and it will grow.
Open your eyes during sex. Getting specific, how about learning to tie the visual of your husband to the sensation of sexual pleasure? Too often, married couples have sex in the dark or with their eyes closed the whole time. But it’s a beautiful thing to gaze upon your beloved.
Take a look at Song of Songs 5:10-16, which starts with this verse: “My beloved is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.” Then the wife goes on to his body — eyes, cheeks, arms, legs, and more. Obviously, she’s been checking him out while they make love.
Make note of your husband’s attractive features when you are intimate together. Link those feelings of arousal and satisfaction to the visual of your own beloved. Later, that visual might even spark feelings of desire, because you’ve connected them in your memory bank.
Are wives visual too? I think we are, or can be. And we can use that knowledge to enhance sexual intimacy with our husbands.