The Christmas season focuses on parties, decorating, shopping, cooking, and big-eyed children with wish lists as long as pythons. (Some children’s lists may include “python.” I’ve heard they make good pets.) The holidays can become a time of stress and even conflict between married couples. But we want to stay focused on keeping our love and intimacy strong.
So I racked my brain long and hard — or at least hard — and came up with some things you and your spouse can partake in together to bring you closer, emotionally or sexually, during this busy season. Here’s my list of 10 Intimate Things to Enjoy for Christmas.
10. Take a Christmas Lights Tour. Jump in the car with your spouse and take a tour through the neighborhood to look at lights. Or head to a local attraction – the port, the town square, the park – that has a light display. Talk about what you like as you view the lights and let the wonder of the season give you both a smile. Click HERE for a list of some Christmas lights attractions.
9. Hang Mistletoe…and Use It. Mistletoe has a history of being considered a fertility herb and an aphrodisiac. The tradition of kissing under mistletoe actually has its origins in mythology. These days, however, we recognize it as a cute plant that we hang up and smooch under for the sole reason that it’s fun. So string it up around your house! On the tops of door frames, in entryways, or over your bed, put up a little mistletoe and invite your spouse to join you.
8. Listen to Love Songs. There are so many romantic songs for the holidays. From I’ll Be Home for Christmas to All I Want for Christmas is You to Merry Christmas, Baby to Santa Baby, there is a lot of wonderful music you two can share over the holidays. A few other favorites of mine include A Christmas Love Song, Baby It’s Cold Outside, and I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm. Make your own music collection and play some tunes as you snuggle by the fireplace in each other’s arms.
7. Visit a Nativity Scene. As you gaze upon the Christmas story represented by a baby, mother, father, and visitors, take a moment to think about the role of Joseph and Mary. Talk about a loving couple! If you read the accounts in Matthew and Luke, you see that both were unselfish and intent on honoring God. Can you imagine the loving relationship those attitudes produced in their marriage? I believe that on the night Jesus was born, Joseph and Mary did what other loving husbands and wives do when their firstborn arrives: They held each other, stared at their infant in awe, and felt closer for having brought a child into the world. (Then they went home and said, “What have we got ourselves into!” But that’s another story.)
6. Watch Romantic Movies. Several romantic movies are set during the Christmas season. Here are a few titles to consider: Christmas in Connecticut (1945), The Shop Around the Corner (1940, the inspiration for You’ve Got Mail by the way), While You Were Sleeping (1995), White Christmas (1954), Holiday Inn (1942), and Miracle on 34th Street (1947, 1994). And for those who crave action and can look way past the language, there’s Die Hard (1988). (Okay, it isn’t technically romantic or Christmas-y, but those terrorists take over the office building on Christmas Eve and Bruce Willis wants to protect his wife.)
5. Wear Santa-themed Lingerie. If you’re game, you could play sexy Santa for each other. (Yes, I know that the real St. Nick was an actual saint, and I’m not trying to dis that image. But he didn’t wear red & white fur either.) You can find Santa lingerie at a lot of stores this time of year.
4. Add a Sexy Gift to Your Wish List. How about deciding that hubby and wife will buy each other one sexy gift this year? You can have your own private gift-opening on Christmas morning (or Christmas Eve for an early present). It can be anything from lingerie to massage oil to a sex toy. Or buy a book about intimacy to read together, or a game with sexy ideas (Married Dance and other Christian retailers offer romantic games). If you suggest the idea ahead of time, it will create some anticipation of what your sweetie purchased and how you can enjoy it together.
3. Wrap and Then Unwrap Your Bodies. There are plenty of places on your body where a bow can be strategically placed. You can simply opt for ribbon and bows, or wrap yourself up in a sheet and add a fabric ribbon with a bow on top. You could even buy one of those huge gift bags or a giant stocking and tuck yourself in. Add a message tag if you wish with a flirty line like “You’ve been so nice, it’s time to be naughty.” The fun part, of course, is the unwrapping.
2. Read The Gift of the Magi by O’Henry. I LOVE this short story about a couple who are strapped for money and want to get the best gifts for one another at Christmas. This is love at its best, least selfish, and most satisfying. You can read the full story HERE.
1. Make Love. Okay, this isn’t specifically a Christmas gift. It’s a wonderful gift anytime of year. But great sex in marriage comes with a giving attitude. Set aside a time for the two of you to be sexually intimate and try to outdo each other in providing your spouse pleasure. Merry Christmas, Baby!
What ideas do you have for making this holiday season a romantic or sexy one? How can you use activities or gifts to bring you closer at a time when busyness threatens to bring stress and conflict? Got any favorite holiday movies or songs? Chime in!
This post was first published in 2011 and has been updated.