Last week, I announced one of my goals for 2017 is to pray more. I admitted this wasn’t the goal for Hot, Holy & Humorous that I personally wanted, but God kept bringing it to the forefront of my mind. And I invite wives to join me in this worthy goal.
Now I write about sex in marriage, so I think the first question we need to ask about prayer is this one: Do you pray for your sex life?
We can get to the how of praying for your sex life later, but the truth is that many wives feel awkward praying to God about their sexuality. Thus, feeling more comfortable about bringing our sexual concerns to the throne of our Heavenly Father has to be Step One.
Philippians 4:6 is often cited as a go-to verse about prayer: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Notice those words anything and in every situation? There are no restrictions about what we can bring before God. He’s open to hearing it all. If it’s something we’re anxious about, He wants to know. If we have a request, He wants to listen. If we are thankful, He appreciates our gratitude.
I am guilty — and perhaps you are too — of sometimes feeling that God doesn’t really care about some small thing going on in my life. Or that it’s selfish to talk to Him about my concerns when there are people across the globe suffering far more than I. Shouldn’t I allow God to use His precious time dealing with the starving, the oppressed, the brokenhearted?
But that’s not what Scripture says. God’s time isn’t limited. He’s got whatever it takes to hear everything you want to tell Him, and everything I want to tell Him, and everything every other person bowing their heads wants to tell Him. Do we believe that?
Do we know, really know, that any and every concern we have about our marriage bed is something God wants to hear?
I’ve talked a lot about how sex in marriage is a gift from God. So let’s make this analogy. What if a father handcrafted a toy, gave it to his child for Christmas, and the child didn’t know how to use the toy? Wouldn’t the father take time to instruct the child and show how it worked? Or what if the toy chipped, or a spring broke, or a wheel came off? Wouldn’t that father want the child to come to him right away and ask for the toy to be fixed? What if nothing was wrong with the toy; rather, it worked beautifully and the child wanted to say thank you? Wouldn’t the father want to hear those words?
Yes, I know sex is not a toy. But, like this toy, it is a gift from our Father intended to bring pleasure and intimacy. It is handcrafted just for us, His children. Surely He cares what happens to that gift after it’s given.
In fact, the four words that precede Philippians 4:6 cited above are these: “The Lord is near” (Philippians 4:5). He’s right here, waiting to hear what you have to say, even if it’s about your sex life. For many of you, especially if it’s about your sex life.
Prayer Challenge This Week: Say a prayer specifically focused on the sexual intimacy in your marriage, bringing your anxiety, your requests, your gratitude, or whatever else you have to say to your Heavenly Father.
We are so glad you posted this. This is a concept many miss – we can’t on one hand, talk about how God created sex for marriages, and then on the other hand, not pray about it. Thank you.
Most wonderful read .. the the follow up approach .. just saying thank you !!
I have been married to my wife for almost twenty years. When we were first married our love life was great, but then things changed in our lives and so did our love making. It was like it just dried up. Being a man I didn’t know what to do. The Doctors she went to couldn’t help either. So I have been praying for our love for around fifteen years now. It hasn’t helped in our love making, because she has no interest in it, but we are still married and that I thank God and pray for that. I keep praying and hoping that God will answer my pray.
Sometimes I pray, ‘Let him finish, already!’ 😀 -Seriously, I think that prayer is our relationship with God, and God is our loving creator who knows us and will listen to whatever we wish to say. As simple as saying ‘thank you’ or as complex as lectio divina, whatever type of prayer we choose should help us to be aware of God in every moment of our lives. I strive for it, but, of course, I fail! It’s our effort that counts, more than our success, I think.
Well, I have trouble with dissociating during sex, and since I realised that my fantasies are not ‘harmless’ at all, I pray even during sex that God will help me focus and not let my mind wander. It does feel a bit odd, but it really does help!
I am looking forward to reading more of your thoughts on prayer and marriage throughout 2017.
I try. For a long time, my husband’s drive was lower than mine. It still is, but I’m dealing with it better. For the longest time I took it very personally and it made me feel worthless. I felt if I wasn’t worth making love to, I certainly wasn’t worth praying about it! I have a hard time praying for myself. It feels very selfish – kind of like a spoiled child begging a parent for what they want. I know this is a wrong way of thinking, and I’m working to change this.
First of all, I love your blog! My prayer life has amped up since my husband and I have had our first child! The challenges have been numerous and my prayer life has blossomed. About three weeks ago I decided that I would heed God’s word and pray about everything…including my sex life. It felt so strange because I felt that God and sex don’t even belong in the same sentence, but I decided to challenge my view and see what God has to offer. When I saw your last few articles I felt that God was confirming that I was on the right path. I am praying that He will honor His promise from Isaiah 43:19 NKJ concerning my sex life (I’m still rolling my eyes and chuckling as I feel quite sheepish).
” Behold, I will do a new thing: Now it shall spring forth, I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the dessert.”
I’m praying for that…
Thank you for listening to God and writing about prayer regarding intimacy.
Wow, that was lovely. Thanks for sharing! I pray that He will show up mightily in your marriage and your marriage bed.
I’ve come a long way in this area. When we were first married it really ground my mental gears to get up from praying together and move right into having sex. These days I have no issues praying very specifically about sex. Asking God to help our upcoming time together to go really well, for our bodies to perform and respond well, help me to do the right things to really pleasure her etc.
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