Setting the Right Priorities in Your Marriage (and Your Life)

Pencil marking off list items + blog title

If you follow my blog regularly, you might have wondered if I’d fallen off the face of the earth. After all, the last time I put up a post was over two weeks ago.

You really don’t want to hear the whole story, but suffice it to say that I had three massive projects that all ended up with deadlines in those two weeks. And in the middle of that, I hosted my lovely friend and fellow podcaster, Bonny Burns of OysterBed7, and we attended the Authentic Intimacy Conference in San Antonio (with Dr. Juli Slattery).

J. Parker and Bonny Burns at the Authentic Intimacy Conference

One of those projects caught me by surprise, and a second one ended up being far more work than I’d anticipated, so I hadn’t planned well for this disruptions to my schedule. Sounds like life, eh?

But whether you’re in the midst of an overwhelming workload or a season of struggle or others needing your ever-so-precious time, you have to make choices. How do you set the right priorities?

When I ended up with a few minutes to spare, I didn’t blog here. I could have, but instead I offered to snuggle up with my husband on the couch and watch a show or go out to eat dinner with the family. I called back the friend who’d been unable to get a hold of me and asked how things were going with her. I chatted with my sister and my son on the phone. I went to church, worshiped with fellow believers, and attended Bible class. I headed to the grocery store, did laundry, made a cup of tea for myself and my hubby.

Each and every day, we’re faced with choices on how to use our time, our resources, our effort. People talk a lot about proper priorities, but how many of us are really living according to the ones we think we should have?

Each and every day, we're faced with choices on how to use our time, our resources, our effort. Click To Tweet

Most of the time, this blog is a high priority for me. I am passionate about passion, I care about your marriages, and I believe God has tasked me to do this ministry.

But these past two weeks, what I seemed to be hearing from Him instead was to not worry so much about the blog and attend to my marriage and my daily life. It’s not that Hot, Holy & Humorous doesn’t matter — I certainly believe it does! — but J. Parker herself isn’t necessary for anyone’s salvation or marital health. That’s God’s job, and I’m just here trying to do my part.

Where I am necessary is as a wife to my husband, a mother to my sons, a member of my church, and a friend to those with whom I’m close.

What about you? Have you really thought about how someone else could teach that Bible class or take a meal to another family? How if you didn’t redecorate the living room, life would be okay? How you could skip out on a social event or even a business meeting, and people would cope?

But if you skip out on your marriage, won’t there be real consequences? If you don’t prioritize your relationship with God, how will you suffer? If you aren’t there for your family, what will be missing in their lives (and yours)?

Likewise, I come here all the time saying that you can’t skip out on the sexual intimacy in your marriage and expect to have a good marriage. Sex isn’t the icing on the cake; it’s an important ingredient in the cake. But have you made it a priority?

You might suspect that within those two weeks, despite all the busyness, my husband and I did not deprive each other (see 1 Corinthians 7:3-5). Because I believe in the importance of sex to our marriage, and I’ve seen that this special intimacy brings us closer in other ways.

I will return on Thursday, hopefully right back on schedule from here on out. But while I missed you all, I don’t regret choosing the priorities I chose. Because honestly, what kind of marriage blogger would I be anyway if I neglected my own marriage and family to write another post that you can live two weeks without?

7 thoughts on “Setting the Right Priorities in Your Marriage (and Your Life)

  1. RS

    Thanks for this post, J! I think that you’re a great example in all of this. Your family is So much more important than a blog (even though I think it’s important, too), and it was a good reminder to me to set things in order for myself!

    Reply
  2. Eric Wiggin

    Welcome back, J!

    I was beginning to be concerned about you. I’m working on a Bible-based book re women’s issues with a much-published coauthor, a woman who, besides more than 40 romance novels to major Christian houses, has already coauthored three titles with psychologists who once were with the Minirith-Meyer Clinics. I do get a lot of ideas from your blogs, which have helped–over the past year and a half that we’ve been working on this–to give me impetus to keep going. My last self-help title was about Grandparenting, but that’s another story–I’m still waiting to see if you’re interested in it.

    We’re in the final stretch with this project, and I’ve got a few dozen eggs to tread on as I write the teaching section.

    So . . . I’m extremely pleased to read that time with Hubs is at the top of your list (after Jesus, of course). I do get tired of hearing TV hosts state that time with our children should be first in one’s life. After all, what we have to give to our children comes from 1.) the Lord; 2.) our spouses. Parents who don’t put their spouses first have little to offer to their children–and I could easily spend several thousand words expanding on that statement!

    So keep at it (XOXOXOX) with your guy!
    Eric

    Reply
  3. Cortney

    Cheers for you prioritizing what matters most AND meeting large deadlines (and attending the AI conference to boot)! It’s not easy to say no to good, worthy to things, even if it’s for much better, richer things.

    Reply
  4. Bonny

    Thank you for letting me land in your life during such a busy season. You are a delight! Thanks for reminding us all to keep our priorities in perspective. Thanks for living out what you write in such a real way. <3

    Reply
  5. Pingback: A Prayer for Our Priorities (Including Sex) | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.