When I typed that title, I really wanted to write the definitive article on how to pray for your husband. I could even do a step-by-step guide, like WikiHow does.
If you haven’t been to WikiHow, it’s a website that boasts it can explain “how to do anything.” With detailed descriptions and pictures, the site provides clear directions on all kinds of things, including how to shave your legs, make homemade candles, and even avoid or escape a bull. Though by the time you decide to look up that last lesson, it’s probably too late.
Then I wondered: What if WikiHow already has the definitive article on how to pray for your husband? I didn’t see that one, but I did find How to Pray Effectively (Christianity) and How to Pray as a Christian. Maybe they’re just waiting on my brilliant article on How to Pray for Your Husband.
Except I don’t think there is a simple step-by-step. How you need to pray for your husband really depends on who he is and where you are in your marriage and in life.
The non-believing husband likely needs prayer focused on God reaching out to him and also asking God for help with how you can be a living testimony in your marriage. While the deeply religious husband may need prayer for his spiritual leadership in the church and for his evangelism efforts.
The low-drive husband may need prayer for the courage to address sexual infrequency in your marriage and for you to know how to communicate lovingly about that topic. While the high-drive husband may need prayer to better understand your physiological challenges and for you to be more open to his advances.
I could go on with other issues husbands face in life or marriage — porn habits, anger, personal insecurity, etc. — but how to pray for your husband is about the unique husband you have.
So what can you do?
Observe. Too often we assume what’s going on with our spouse, or misinterpret based on our own biases. Become a better observer of what’s really going on. Where does your husband spend much of his time? Who is important in his life? Where does he seem confident, and where does he seem to fumble? Look for clues about what really matters to him and where he needs intercessory prayer.
Listen. What topics does your husband bring up? What worries does he share with you? What dreams or desires has he expressed? When does he shut conversation down? Lots of us wives are better talkers than listeners, but if we’ll listen better, we’ll learn more about our man and how to pray for him.
Reflect. Consider deeply what you truly want for your husband. Go deeper than “I want him to listen to me,” “I want him to help with the housework,” and such, let’s face it, selfish issues. Rather, ask what kind of man your husband would be if he was living up to his God-given potential. What would that look like — in his work, in his parenting, in his marriage, in your sex life? Reflect on what God wants for your husband, and then make that your prayer.
Ask. Why not ask him how he wants you to pray for him? Wouldn’t you respond well to that question? It shows that your spouse is thinking about you, wants to bring your concerns before God, and cares about your well-being. And if your husband answers with specifics, you’ll know exactly what matters to him and can bring that before God.
Invite. You can also invite your husband to pray with you. Then you can hear his concerns as he expresses them to God and add your own support. You can also pray in front of him for things that you desire for him to have, letting him hear your heart for how you want God involved in your marriage and your husband’s life.
Release. What if you sat before God and simply released your husband to Him? What if you came before God with no certainty about what to pray for your husband, but simply meditated on God’s goodness and provision? I suspect that’s what some of us wives need to do from time to time.
Despite the fact that you can read these in order, in nice succinct paragraphs, this is not a step-by-step guide. Rather, these are ideas about how you can figure out how to pray for your husband. You know your husband better than I do, and God knows Him even better than that. I trust that you two, or three, can figure it out.
What other suggestions do y’all have for praying for your husband? Or, for the men reading, praying for your wife?