I recently found your blog. I’ve enjoyed reading it very much. My husband and I are christians and have been married for almost 32 years. I’ve had trouble being totally connected and vulnerable with my husband but have been trying to change things. I’ve been able to initiate sex more and I know he appreciates it. As a Christian I wondered what your view is on using things like flavored oils and or things like whipped cream or sundae sauces? Or really anything like that?
Thanks for your help
Quick answer: Go for it.
Sexual aids run the gamut — everything from lubricants to stimulators to somewhat scary sex play. You’re right to be discerning about what you bring into your marriage bed. However, in the Song of Solomon, there are 8 references to fragrance, 5 to perfume, and 2 to taste. It sounds to me like this couple understood that scents and flavors were a pleasing addition to their sexual intimacy. It’s no different really than adding lubricant, which some couples need, only a little spicier in substance.
A couple bits of advice: Keep a wet cloth handy for that sundae sauce, and you may want to lay a towel down on the bed before pulling out that oil, cream, or sauce. 🙂 Enjoy!
J, thanks for all you have done. As you have well noticed; there is an incredible need for help and encouragement in the Christian community WRT to married sexuality. We have well benefited from your efforts. Our MFT and ST now has a copy of your book. She sees a significant number of patients from very narrow-repressive “religious” backgrounds and is grateful for your work. God help us that we should be damaging young ones in this way.
Someday, if there’s opportunity, I may PM you with our story, let me know.
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