Tag Archives: Calm Healthy Sexy

Don’t Have Time to Read about Sex? Then Listen.

I recently posted something on my Facebook page about the Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast, and one commenter responded: “Wait you have a podcast? I didn’t realize!!”

At first, I thought: Really? You didn’t know? Because this is the header on my Facebook page:

Facebook Banner with photo of my book and podcast logo: "Check out the Book and the Podcast"

Then I thought about how often I scan stuff or don’t recall what I’ve seen. Not to mention that I’ve heard about a gazillion times that people need to see something repeatedly to remember it. I admitted that my fairly new podcast could have easily gotten lost among the noise of life.

So I wanted to make it easy for y’all, in case you haven’t listened yet. Below are links to all the episodes we’ve done. And by we, I mean this group of ladies:

Sex Chat for Christian Wives Facebook Banner: showing J, Bonny Burns of OysterBed7, Gaye Christmus of Calm.Healthy.Sexy, and Chris Taylor of The Forgiven Wife

It’s not my podcast. It’s a podcast in which four marriage and sex bloggers — me, Bonny Burns of OysterBed7, Gaye Christmus of Calm.Healthy.Sexy., and Chris Taylor of The Forgiven Wife — sit around a virtual kitchen table and discuss various topics. You’ll see the span of stuff we’ve covered so far below.

  1. Episode 1: Getting in the Mood – We launch our podcast with a conversation about getting your mind and body ready for sexual intimacy
  2. Episode 2: Sex Positions – Going beyond the missionary position, we talk about how and why to try new positions
  3. Episode 3: 50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again – With the release of the second movie in the Fifty Shades series, we talk about this phenomenon and what wives should know
  4. Episode 4: Stress & Sex – Stress impacts our ability to engage in sex in marriage, so we discuss realistic ways of dealing with this obstacle
  5. Episode 5: Sex Scheduling – We talk about putting sex on your calendar, whether and how you should do it, and what benefits it might have
  6. Episode 6: Women’s Sexual Response – Discussing how our sexual response really works and what many people misunderstand about female arousal
  7. Episode 7: Exercise and Sex – Talking about why exercising is important for your sex life, not to mention your health and wellbeing
  8. Episode 8: Sex Toys – Covering what benefits, drawbacks, and concerns are involved with the use of sex toys
  9. Episode 9: Listener Questions –  Chris, Bonny, and Gaye answer questions about honoring feelings, multiple orgasms, and erectile dysfunction
  10. Episode 10: Tending Your Garden – We talk about taking care of your “garden,” aka your lady parts; hygiene, grooming, and decorating
  11. Episode 11: Introducing the Podcast Team – Digging deeper into who we are and why we do what we do
  12. Episode 12: Guy Talk – The Importance of Sex – Chris interviews men from the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association core team, and we comment afterward about their male perspective
  13. Episode 13: Mismatched Sex Drives – We chat about the challenge of differences in sex drives and how to handle the mismatch

And tomorrow, look for a new episode with more Guy Talk.

I’m planning to add a fourth day to my blog every other week, in which I share the new episode so that you won’t miss it! But the best way to make sure you are plugged into our (fabulous) podcast is to subscribe to new posts through our RSS feed, and/or find us on your favorite podcast provider. We’re on iTunesiHeart, Stitcher, and more. I personally listen to podcasts on the Pocket Casts app, and I had no trouble finding Sex Chat for Christian Wives.

Now and then, we encounter some audio issues, because (1) we’re recording the episode via Skype phone call and (2) we are not audio engineers. But we have purchased better equipment, continue working on our editing skills, and try to provide the best episodes we can. Regardless, we believe our content is absolutely worth your time.

We’d love for you to listen, leave a review on iTunes or other podcast provider sites, and share our podcast with others. We want to spread the message about God’s gift of sexual intimacy in marriage and address the challenges we wives face in embracing that gift fully.

Also, as someone recently said to us, “it sounds like y’all have fun.” We really do. We enjoy one another, our conversations, and the experience of inviting other wives to slide their own chair up to the virtual kitchen table and listen in.

Screenshot of Skype phone call, with all four of us smiling

Having fun on the podcast!

Sex Chat for Christian Wives Has Launched!

♥ Happy Valentine’s Day! ♥

Whether you’re celebrating in style or simply displaying everyday romance to your spouse, may your day be an enjoyable one!

And if you’re looking for something to spark your mood or just help you on path toward greater sexual intimacy, it’s our official launch day! Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast has gone live, and we have three episodes you can listen to right now.
SCFCW We've Launched with Sketched Rocket

We’re pretty excited about our content!

Episode 1 is on Getting in the Mood.

Episode 2 is about Sexual Positions.

Episode 3 addresses 50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again.

A few have mentioned our not-yet-stellar audio quality. Yes, I realize that there is some background noise and reverberation. And I’m sorry for the inconvenience on your end.

Frankly, we are four working-from-home wives with limited time and a limited budget, and we are still gathering recording savvy, audio editing skills, and equipment to improve our sound. We genuinely hope you’ll stick with us as we continue to develop. Much like our blogs — Hot Holy & Humorous, The Forgiven Wife, OysterBed7and Calm.Healthy.Sexy. — we started with what we had and will prioritize becoming more and more professional in our presentation. But the substance itself is well worth the listen. And I can tell our recordings are improving with the knowledge we’ve gained.

Remember to connect with Sex Chat for Christian Wives through any/all of the following:

Website
iTunes
SoundCloud
Stitcher
Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Instagram

More episodes are coming!

And thanks to you who have already listened. It’s pretty amazing to look and see that, as of publishing this post, we’ve already had 1270 downloads!

We pray that we will find the audience who needs to hear our message about the gift of sexual intimacy in marriage as God intended. We want to reach as many wives as possible.

Q&A with J: Answering Your Questions about the Podcast

While I would love to answer another personal question from a reader, this week has honestly been inundated with tasks leading up to our podcast debut. As often happens with new endeavor, a great deal of work goes into preparation, and things smooth out after the project is launched. Since answering personal questions are the most time-consuming posts I write — because I usually mull over my answer, pray about the situation, and do more research — I don’t want to shortchange anyone’s question.

Instead, I’ve decided to answer questions I’ve been asked about our upcoming podcast, Sex Chat for Christian Wives, which is coming next Tuesday, February 14.

Answering Your Questions about the Podcast with sketched microphone

Where can I find the podcast?

We’re working to get our podcast to every distributor we can. You can already find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Pocket Casts, and SoundCloud. We’ll soon be on Google Play and iHeart Radio as well. Regardless, if you head to our website, forchristianwives.com, and then look at the top right corner, you’ll see icons you can click on to find our social media sites and podcast providers.

How often will episodes go up?

We have a sneak preview episode up now, and two should follow next week. After that, it will be once every two weeks. At some point, we might become a weekly podcast, but we’ll have to see if all four of us can commit to that in the future.

What are we talking about in the podcast?

If it’s about sex, we’ll talk about it. All from a biblical foundation, of course. So far, we’ve recorded episodes on Getting in the Mood, Sexual Positions, 50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again, Stress, Sex Scheduling, Female Arousal/Response, Exercise and Sex, and Mismatched Drives. All of these are not ready to be published, but they are in the bag and getting edited for podcast play.

Topics slated for the future include orgasm, body image, and sex toys. In addition, we’ll be answering reader questions from time to time.

How can I send you a question?

You can head to our Have a Question? page on our website and fill in the contact form. You can also use that form to suggest topics.

I think it’s important to note our policy about anonymity: “If we air a response to your question, no personally identifying information will be used. You will be kept anonymous.” Given our subject matter, we believe that’s an important assurance to our readers.

Do I have to type the word sex into my search engine?

Originally, our website was simply sexchatforchristianwives.com, and that’s still our site. But we also bought forchristianwives.com, which will take you to our website as well — because we want to be sensitive to when and where you’re typing in that information.

Why us?

Why are we four women doing this joint endeavor? For several reasons:

  1. We all write about sexual intimacy and are passionate about helping Christian wives figure out this aspect of their marriages.
  2. We come from different backgrounds and experiences, and the sum of our experience is greater than the individual parts — a true benefit for our listeners.
  3. We want to reach out in a new format and to a new group of wives.
  4. Truth be told, no one wanted to do a podcast alone, because we don’t have time to do it all, but the four of us together can handle the work.
  5. We all like each other, and if you’re going into a long-term project together, you should really get along. We truly have fun when we meet on Skype, and we respect one another.

How will I tell your voices apart?

We announce ourselves at the beginning of each podcast, with the idea of listeners associating that voice with the speaker. It might take a few times to sort that out, but having listened to other group podcasts myself, you start being able to pick out who’s who pretty quickly.

Moreover, I’ve now listened to audio of us repeatedly, and I’ve been a little surprised how distinct our voices are. I’ll give you some hints: Chris Taylor‘s voice is a smooth, low alto; Gaye Christmus has a slightly higher alto voice with crisp tones; Bonny Burns is just as chipper as she looks (and sings soprano quite well); and I sound like — oh, I don’t know, me. Honestly, I have a slight Texas twang, so you could try listening for that.

Is the podcast for men too?

No, but we welcome husbands listening. We are aiming this podcast at Christian wives, with the feel of us sitting around a kitchen table with you and discussing our topic for the day. We say things to each other in a way we wouldn’t likely say in mixed company, and our focus is on helping wives improve the sexual intimacy in their marriage.

However, nothing we say is improper to be shared publicly (or we wouldn’t be doing this podcast). And if husbands wish to listen, go right ahead. Hey, I listen to the Art of Manliness podcast; I’m clearly not their intended audience, but the podcast has some good information and helps me to understand men better.

Those are some questions I’ve heard so far. What other questions do you have about the upcoming podcast?

Shall We Chat about Sex? A New Podcast for Wives!

If you read my free Christmas story, you might have noticed a mention on my dedication page about soon-to-be podcast partners. I kinda of jumped the gun on saying anything at all, because we weren’t quite ready to announce what’s happening.

But we’re ready now!

Sex Chat for Christian Wives Coming Soon!

Sex Chat for Christian Wives: The Naked Truth is launching on Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2017. This weekly group podcast will offer a biblical perspective of sex in marriage, thoughts on improving your intimacy, and practical tips for your marriage bed.

You’ll also get a behind-the-scenes look at how we crack each other up. While some topics are rather serious, other times we have a lot of fun with our subject matter!

While listeners only hear the audio, we quickly learned that we wanted to do a video call so we could see one another and better gauge when to speak. Plus, it feels more like a true chat when we can see each other’s faces. Here’s a screenshot from the last episode we recorded!

Podcast Screenshot with All Four Hostesses

Now that you also see our faces, let me tell you a bit about each of us and why this foursome will make for great content you’ll want to listen to.

Chris Taylor of The Forgiven Wife writes from her personal story and primarily for lower-drive wives. Her approach generally deals with attitudes and relational factors that prevent you from engaging fully in the marriage bed.

Gaye Christmus of Calm.Healthy.Sexy writes about more than sex, including helpful tips for your household and your health. Her angle of calmer and healthier living gives her a unique perspective on these factors that affect our sexuality.

Bonny Burns of OysterBed7 also writes for lower-drive wives, but she often addresses the physiological challenges many wives face, as well as the attitudes. She’s wonderful at breaking down difficult medical and scientific studies into useful information for our sex lives.

J. Parker of Hot, Holy & Humorous is me! I have my own personal testimony and a longing to be frank about sexual intimacy in marriage — the good, the bad, and the beautiful. Thus, my book, Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God’s Design, gives some rather candid how-tos.

Foundationally, we four agree about God’s gift of sexuality for our marriages and the need to resolve outstanding issues and enjoy the experience. But when it comes to the how of nurturing sexual intimacy, we each bring something different to the table.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” I don’t exactly what this means for two times two, but we know that together we four ladies are stronger than any of us would be alone.

And because we come from different places, this single resource can help Christian wives coming from different places regarding sex.

This single resource can help Christian wives coming from different places regarding sex. Click To Tweet

So what should you do to tune in?

Check out our websiteSex Chat for Christian Wives. You can subscribe to our RSS feed or check out other places to find us like iTunes and Stitcher.

Follow us on social media: Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube. (We’re still learning how we’ll use those last two sites). We’ll post when new episodes have gone up and share other useful content.

Spread the word: Tell others to check out our page or follow our website and/or social media. Word of mouth remains one of the best ways for marriage authors, speakers, podcasters, and ministers to find new listeners for our important message about godly sex in marriage.

Ask a question: In some episodes, we’ll answer reader questions, so if you have something you want to ask four wives who write about Christian sex, this is your chance! Also, if you sent me a question and I haven’t answered, you can resend the question or tag me to move your query to the podcast pile. I still can’t guarantee if/when we can answer, but my personal queue is about 40 unanswered questions, so you can see that — as much as I truly care — I simply can’t get to every one of them on the Hot, Holy & Humorous blog.

Check out what my fellow podcasters have to say: My three partners have all written about this podcast today as well. Be sure to check out their posts:

Calm.Healthy.Sexy.

Oyster Bed 7

The Forgiven Wife

Pray for us: New endeavors are always wrought with stress, but we are devoted to reaching out through this group podcast. We’d love your prayers that everyone stays in good health, that technology cooperates (mostly) with our needs, that our own marriages remain strong, and that Sex Chat for Christian Wives reaches those women who need to hear our content.

Mark your calendar for February 14, and join us as we look forward to launching this new resource for wives!

Put Your Body to Work to Help You Feel Beautiful with Gaye Groover Christmus

Have you ever been to the Calm.Healthy.Sexy website? I’m a regular post subscriber. I love how blogger Gaye Groover Christmus gives authentic, godly, practical insight for wives. So it was an easy decision to me to invite her to contribute to the Feel Beautiful series.

Just as I expected, she came up with great stuff we can start putting into practice right now to own our natural beauty and take charge in feeling more beautiful day by day. Here’s Gaye!

Put Your Body to Work to Help You Feel Beautiful

If you’re in the midst of the struggle to feel beautiful, believe me, I’m right there with you. That struggle is a process for me that tends to involve one step forward and two steps back — and I’m guessing it does for you too. So today I want to suggest a strategy that can help you move forward in that process — by putting your body to work for you. This is an approach that has helped me tremendously, and I think it can be a powerful tool for every woman who wants to embrace and accept her beauty.

Before we begin, I encourage you to remember two things. First, beauty is subjective. Yes, a few people are so objectively beautiful that no one thinks otherwise. But they’re the exception. Most people possess the type of beauty that’s more attractive to some people and less attractive to others. You’ve probably had the experience of saying, “She’s so beautiful,” and your husband or a friend saying, “Really? Do you think so?” In most cases, beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Second, beauty is changeable. The way you look today is not set in stone — you can change it. Not by having plastic surgery or an extreme makeover, but by making the most of your natural beauty, taking charge of your body, and growing in confidence. Because what it really comes down to is this — confidence is attractive, and a woman who is becoming confident in herself, her body, and her appearance is becoming more beautiful every day.

“Putting your body to work” to help you feel more beautiful simply means helping your physical body work for you, rather than against you. So many women set aside focusing on their physical bodies in favor of handling dozens of other tasks that clamor for attention. Over time, this lack of focus results in their bodies working against them — making them less able to embrace their God-given beauty. If you find yourself in that position, here are 5 ways you can turn things around and begin putting your body to work for you:

Exercise regularly. God designed our bodies for movement. We look, feel, and function our best when we get up and move regularly. But modern life conspires to keep us from moving — we often spend hours each day sitting, and very few of our daily activities require physical exertion. So we end up feeling sluggish and flabby — hardly conducive to feeling beautiful! The solution is to exercise regularly. And by “exercise” I don’t mean “go to the gym,” although that’s great if you can do it. I mean make a plan that gets your body up and moving almost every day and stick to that plan. You can take a brisk walk, work out with a video, play soccer with your kids, ride a bike — anything that gets you moving, increases your breathing a bit, and engages your muscles.

Stand up straight. For the next few days, notice how people stand and how they move. (Yes, this is a weird form of people watching!) Pay attention to the messages they send with their bodies. What do you notice? In most cases, I think you’ll find that poor posture makes people look older and less attractive, regardless of their appearance otherwise. Good posture, on the other hand, makes people look younger and more attractive. It certainly makes people look more confident, and confidence is inherently attractive. Now, begin working on your own posture. Practice standing up straight, with your shoulders back and your head up. Become aware of how you position your body when you’re sitting, standing, and walking. If you find yourself slumping, as I often do, take a few seconds to realign your body. Do this a number of times each day, until good posture becomes a habit. (Adding upper body and core exercises to your exercise routine can make it easier.)

Walk with confidence. Now that you’re standing up straight, practice walking and presenting yourself with confidence. Try it around the house first, then give it a go when you’re out and about. This doesn’t have anything to do with arrogance or showing off — it’s about accepting and enjoying the body God has given you and embracing its natural beauty. And, walking and presenting yourself with confidence is very attractive — it affects the way you and other people perceive your appearance.

Smile and look people in the eye. When women don’t feel attractive, they sometimes avoid engaging people in a direct and open manner. (“If I don’t look at them, they won’t look at me.” Been there, done that.) But that behavior tends to reinforce negative feelings, because it negatively affects the way people see us. So train yourself to engage others directly and openly. Smile at people, and look them in the eye. Show them that you value them, but also that you value yourself. Practice doing this as you go about your day, until it feels natural.

Maintain a weight that’s healthy and comfortable for your body. I saved this strategy for last, because it’s the hardest. While the first four strategies can yield positive changes fairly quickly, this one takes some time. But let’s tackle it anyway. And right from the start, let’s be clear — I am not saying that women must be thin in order to be beautiful. Not at all. In fact, the version of “thin” that magazines, movies, and other media promote as the standard of beauty is ridiculous. No normal woman is ever going to be that thin, nor should she be. But the reality is that most people (69%, according to the CDC) weigh a lot more than they should. And for many women, as their weight increases, their perception of their beauty decreases. So if your weight is keeping you from feeling comfortable in your body, it may be time to take charge of it and make some healthy changes. Begin by eating real, nutritious food. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Drink more water. Ditch the fast food, junk food, and soda. Begin exercising regularly. Sleep 7-8 hours a night (yes, sleep affects weight loss!). Do some research and put together a weight loss plan that works for you. Work toward reaching and maintaining a weight that’s comfortable for your body, as a way of putting your body to work for you and preventing it from working against you.

The body God has given you is beautiful and “wonderfully made.” If it’s working against you, take charge and put it to work for you. Because when it’s working for you, it can be the greatest beauty tool ever created.

Gaye Groover ChristmusGaye Groover Christmus is a wife and mom to two almost-grown sons.  In her “day job” she works as a writer and editor in a health field.  Her passion, though, is encouraging married women to slow down, live with vitality and energy, and create joy and intimacy in their marriages.  She believes that small steps can lead to big changes, and that women armed with knowledge and a plan can transform their hurried, hectic lives.  Gaye blogs at CalmHealthySexy.  She’d love to send you her ebook, 17 Ways to Live Calmer, Healthier and Sexier – Starting Today — as a gift when you subscribe to the blog.