Tag Archives: marriage humor

Is Joking about Sex Okay?

My site is called Hot, Holy & Humorous — because those are three aspects of sex in marriage. And if you’ve read or followed me much, you know that I love humor. Indeed, I believe a sense of humor is what makes life more bearable in bad times and more enjoyable in good times.

I’ve been known to crack a few sex jokes and chuckle at innuendos. One of my favorites is when someone asks me about masturbation, and I answer, “Well, now that’s a touchy topic.” And you’ll periodically hear one-liners and laughter in our Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast.

But is there such a thing as too much sexual humor? Or a type of sexual humor that should be avoided?

Is there such a thing as too much sexual humor? Or a type of sexual humor that should be avoided? Click To Tweet

Is there such a thing as too much sexual humor? Or a type of sexual humor that should be avoided?

Ephesians 5:3-5 says:

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

Hmmm. Should we reconsider how we treat the subject of sex in conversation? Don’t panic yet. Let me outline a few thoughts here.

1. Context matters.

This passage is talking about sexual immorality and impurity, and conversation in that context. A sexual innuendo about one’s body part is one thing when spoken to your spouse and a whole other thing when spoken to someone else. The first is in the context of a covenant relationship blessed by God with intimacy as the goal of that humor. While the second clearly meets the “out of place” definition in the scripture and could lead to the immorality and impurity warned about.

Now this isn’t license to say anything whatsoever within marriage, because our words should always meet the goal of building one another up (Ephesians 4:29). But speaking innuendos to your beloved mate isn’t an immoral or impure act. Indeed, look at how the lovers spoke to one another in Song of Songs — their playful use of metaphors and euphemisms. That’s a good example of how we can use sexual sense of humor in positive ways.

That said, we need to be careful how we speak in mixed company, to ensure that we are not nudging someone toward impurity. Sexual innuendos broadly (like my “touchy” joke above) don’t meet that definition to me — it’s just us laughing at the shared experience of life — but specifics could be problematic.

2. Content matters.

In the commentaries I read on this passage, the most common takeaway was that sin isn’t funny. Coarse joking about things like sexual trafficking, pornography addiction, adultery, etc. are not a Christ-like approach to sin. We can all nod our heads on this one, but let’s be honest: This can be difficult to follow all the time, because we tend to diffuse stressful situations with humor. It’s a go-to coping mechanism for some.

But real brokenness is heart-rending. It pricks God’s heart and should prick ours too. For instance, there were many jokes about Hugh Hefner through the years, but I never thought he was funny; rather, he was sad, pathetic, and damaging. Likewise, nothing about the #MeToo movement is funny for those who have been sexually harassed and/or assaulted.

Living in Texas, I remember vividly when front-runner candidate Clayton Williams lost the governor’s race by making an offhand comment comparing bad weather to rape. It wasn’t simply in poor taste; it was thoughtless and heartless to everyone (women and men) who had been raped. That is sexual humor gone much too far.

3. Consequence matters.

What’s the result of your sexual humor? Is it lightening you and others up about the awkwardness and foibles of the sexual act? Is it convincing us that sex is universally funny in some ways? Is it having a shared moment of humor with a close friend? Is it inducing greater intimacy between you and your spouse?

Or is it causing your spouse or friends discomfort? Is it encouraging your mind to dwell on sexual improprieties? Is it arousing your lust as much as it tickles your funny bone?

The goal is for God’s people to maintain sexual purity and morality, and if your humor doesn’t do that, then you need to take a step back and ask what, if anything, you need to change.

Now, admittedly, I sometimes have a commenter slam me for my sexual sense of humor here on the blog in a way that makes it clear the person is way too uptight. If someone thinks that Christianity means No Joking Allowed, then the problem isn’t really the joke but the audience. Tough crowd. Is this mic on? Of course if you’re married to that “tough crowd,” you need to tread carefully. Encourage them toward lightning up a little, but don’t dismiss their discomfort.

Is it okay to joke about sex? A playful attitude toward sex can help us see this act in a proper light, pursue greater intimacy with our spouse, and bring laughter to our daily lives. None of those things dishonors God’s design for sex.

But if and when our sexual humor is in the wrong context, includes immoral content, or has a damaging consequence, we need to rethink the purpose and power of our words.

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Marriage: It Can Be Funny

I recently asked readers to answer 4 QUESTIONS for me. (They’re quick and your answers are very helpful, so if you haven’t done that, please head over to that post and give me your two cents.) From the feedback I’ve received so far, I decided we needed a humor day!

Marriage: It Can Be Funny

        WE LIKE TO LAUGH HERE!

After all, this is Hot, Holy & Humorous. Because I believe those are three things a healthy, godly marriage bed have — hot passion, holy purpose, and a great sense of humor.

So without further ado, here are three chances for you to laugh it up on your own . . . or grab your spouse and enjoy together!

  1. I recently discovered The Skitzy Chicks, through their hilarious Back to School video. But here’s a quick marriage tip from these funny ladies:

2. Comedian Jeff Allen has a story I can relate to — ten years in, his marriage was at the end, but they brought it back from the brink through the grace of God. Now he shares his testimony and sense of humor with others.

3. Here’s a couple I didn’t know about, but discovered while touring the Internet for funnies — Modern Marriage Moments with Brandon and Stephanie. Enjoy the Marriage Pick-Up Lines (but don’t use them)!

And the winner of last week’s giveaway is Tana, who shared my Avoiding Sex Because the Kids Can Hear post last week on Facebook. I’ll contact her about receiving a free ebook of Sex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives.

Based on your feedback, I am considering a switch from posting twice a week to three times a week, with one of those posts being an answer to a specific reader question. I don’t know how this would affect my work and personal schedule, so I’d appreciate your prayers as I thoughtfully consider adding another day to my blogging schedule.

A Little Marriage Humor from Jeff Foxworthy

Summer schedule can get a little crazy, and today I’m out-of-pocket with a local ministry task. While I’m out, please enjoy a little marriage humor from Jeff Foxworthy:

This video is from Married People Media, who offer marriage resources for churches.

Tickling the Marriage Funny Bone

Things have been rather serious lately here on the Hot, Holy & Humorous blog. Sometimes, I just need my funny bone tickled. Don’t you?

Whatever has been going on in your life, whatever challenges you have, whatever stresses surround you, how about grabbing your spouse and watching a few funny videos? Here are some clean, Christian comics on marriage and intimacy. (Note: The acts are clean, but sex is mentioned. So if you’re at work or have small children, you might want to grab the headphones.)

Bob Smiley, Wedding Vows

Tim Hawkins, The Wife Song

Thor Ramsey, It’s in the Bible!

And one of my favorite comedians ever, Sinbad, Get Your House Back

I hope you enjoyed a laugh or two. Thankfully, the field of Christian comedy is growing. And why wouldn’t it? God wants to see His children smile.

Psalm 126:2-3:

Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
“The Lord has done great things for them.”
The Lord has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.

In fact, I recommend a clean comedy show as a fabulous date night for a married couple! Laughing together can draw you closer.

Now that I’ve shared, I invite readers to mention their favorite Christian comics in the comments. Whose comedy routines tickle your funny bone and give you that good-medicine cheerful heart (Proverbs 17:22)?