Tag Archives: praying for marriage

When You Don’t Know What to Pray for Your Marriage

On Saturdays, I’m encouraging us all to pray more for our marriages and marriage beds. But yesterday, I was in a chat window with Chris of The Forgiven Wife and said: Will you write my post on prayer for tomorrow morning? I got nothing.

Yep, as much as I have to say and love to write, there are still times when I stare at the blank page and what comes out is a big fat zero. Thankfully, Chris is a smart and encouraging friend who wrote back: No, I won’t write it. But that’s exactly what you can write about: how to pray when you got nothing.

Well, there is this scripture: “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Romans 8:26). So I guess groaning is an option. 😉

But as I chatted more with this friend, we discussed one of the best approaches for when we don’t know how to pray: Just pray the Scripture.

Title with woman praying, sunrise in background

For instance, you can open up the Psalms, find a relevant chapter, and simply make the words your own as you pray to God. But I also want to show you how this is easily done with marriage and intimacy verses.

Let’s take verses from the “Love Chapter,” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

How do you make that into a personal prayer to God? Here’s one example:

Oh Lord, please help my love to be patient and kind. God, I know that love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. But I struggle with these things. Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Yet, I have done all of those in my marriage. Please forgive me and help me to love more perfectly. Never let me delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. Help me to welcome honesty and truth in my marriage. Guide me to always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere in my marriage. Give us a love that never fails — a love that resembles Your love for us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

You can leave some of the language as is, change other wording around to apply directly to you, and insert your own thoughts as you go.

What about a scripture that applies directly to your sexual intimacy? Let’s look at the oft-cited 1 Corinthians 7:3-5:

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

And here’s my rendering of a prayer with that passage:

Dear Father, I pray that my husband will fulfill his marital duty to me, and I will fulfill mine to my husband. Help me to embrace that I do not have authority over my own body and to yield my body to my husband. In the same way, remind my husband that he does not have authority over his own body but should yield it to me. And help us to be responsible and loving with that authority You’ve given each of us. May we never deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that we may devote ourselves to prayer. Then bring us together again and keep us from Satan’s temptation. Strengthen our self-control. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

These aren’t the only ways to pray the Scripture — just my examples. I used this approach somewhat in A Prayer for Your Sexual Intimacy and A Prayer about Sexual Temptation. For other scripture ideas, here are some that work for marriage:

Ephesians 5:21-33

Proverbs 5:15-19

Philippians 2:3-8

Psalm 128

If you have other scripture suggestions, please leave them in the comments.

Also check out my devotional book, Intimacy Revealed, which includes 52 prayers for the sexual intimacy in your marriage.

Intimacy Revealed Book CoverWhat does the Bible say about sexual intimacy?

Quite a lot actually. From marriage-specific scriptures to biblical principles, Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage guides Christian wives through weekly devotions that shed light on God’s gift of marital sex.

Each week includes a Bible passage, application, questions, and a prayer. These short devotions will deepen your understanding of God’s design of sexuality and encourage you toward a holier, happier, and hotter marriage.

Ebook:
Amazon / Kindle | Barnes & Noble / Nook |
Kobo Books | Scribd | iBooks

Print:
Amazon

Readers, We’re Praying for Your Marriage

This year, I’ve been focused on Praying More, especially for our marriage beds. It recently occurred to me that I often say to someone, “Praying for you…”

I’ve said it many times in the comments section of my blog, in email replies to readers who contact me, to those who mention on my Facebook page a struggle they’re going through. What does that look like? How do marriage bloggers pray for their readers?

I know what I do, but I decided to ask other marriage bloggers with whom I’m in contact. Their responses were wonderful. Let me share some of what they said.

Whenever the Holy Spirit brings somebody to mind, I pause and I pray in that moment and make a note on my phone. When I get the opportunity, I like to send people a simple message just to encourage them if they’ve been prayed for.

I pray over my audience and writing in general asking that I write for the one woman God has purposed the message of that post [for] and [that] my words are pleasing to Him.

If I tell someone I will pray for them, I do it right then. If at a later time the situation comes back to me, I will generally pray about it again.

Most consistently is when I am emailing them back or commenting back. Then there are times I just pray for readers in general!

[My husband and I] pray for husbands and wives (in general and for those who read our posts) in our together prayers.

I have a monthly cyber prayer meeting on my blog, share prayer prompts daily, and pray as I type (writing or emailing).

When I get an email from someone who’s hurting, I pray immediately upon reading and then again when I reply.

I wavered on whether to tell you who specifically said what, then decided to leave it at their words. Because while this is a small sample, it reflects a wide variety of Christian marriage bloggers. And I want my readers to know that whether you’re here or on another blog, your marriage — and sometimes your marriage bed specifically — are the topic of prayer.

Anyone who’s ever been sick or known the loss of a loved one understands how comforting it can be to have someone say they’re praying for you. Honestly, that response is so much better than people who want to tell you exactly how to handle your illness or your grief.

While we marriage bloggers are in the business of telling you how to handle your marriage — or rather, to provide insight for how to handle aspects of your marriage — as Christians, we understand that we are way out of our league in actually making anything happen. If comfort, persistence, and/or change are going to happen, that’s up to the married couple and God acting in their lives.

It’s what saved my flailing marriage. (Plus, some really awesome sex. 😉 ) I genuinely believe that without God prodding me into better perspectives and habits, I’d be divorced right now. Instead, after I finish this post, I’m making plans for a date day with my husband (kids are gone), which both of us are really looking forward to. Because we’re in a happy marriage now. Thank God for His supernatural intervention!

So today, I just want you to know that while you’re praying for your own marriage, we’re praying for you too.

While you're praying for your own #marriage, we're praying for you too. Click To Tweet

My own practice is that when I say I’m praying for someone or their situation, I do it right at that moment. As I’m writing the response to their email, comment, or post, I stop and say a quick prayer about that particular person and their struggle. I have also prayed for my readers generally. And when I’m tackling a difficult subject, I definitely pray for God’s guidance.

I always appreciate when someone shares a difficult situation in the comments section and another commenter responds with a commitment to pray for that person. So thank you, readers, for also praying for others’ marriages and marriage beds.

Let’s continue bringing our marriages and sexual intimacy in those marriages before the throne of God.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

A quick thank you to these members of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association who shared their prayer practices: David, Bonny, Tim, Kate, Lori, Laura, and Chris.