Tag Archives: praying for your husband

Do You Thank God for Your Spouse?

On Saturdays when I’ve been talking about praying more, many of my posts have focused on praying about problems you’re experiencing in your marriage and specifically your marriage bed.

But this week, I’ve been thinking about gratitude and how important it is in our prayers and our lives. Pastor James MacDonald, of Walk in the Word Ministries, words it this way: “Gratitude is the attitude that sets the altitude for living.”

Blog post title + THANK YOU written on the sand at a beach

Complainers and grumps feel like they’re at the bottom of life, whether or not that’s true. Whereas thankful people fly above their circumstances. Instead of wallowing in the dirt, they look up toward Heaven with gratefulness for what they have.

And the truth is, nearly everybody has something about their spouse for which they’re thankful. What’s your thing?

I hope it’s a lot of things. But sometimes we need to start small. This past week, I asked a simple question on Facebook and got over a hundred responses:

Facebook image with the following question: "One thing that my spouse does for me that I hate to do is _________."

Spouses responded with everything from taking care of insects in the house to scrubbing toilets to putting gas in the car to painting her toenails (well done, hubby). But one lovely comment from a reader stuck with me:

“What I love about this question is the fact that it makes the ladies think about the precious gifts they are being given. I hope each of you takes a moment to share with him today. 

Good idea! We should share those things with our husbands and wives.

Perhaps we should also share our thankfulness for our spouse with the One who created our mate, put him in our lives, and blesses us now in our marriage.

When’s the last time you went to God in prayer and said, “Thank you, Lord, for my husband and how he __________ for me”? You can fill in the blank with whatever your husband (or wife) does for you. Even something from your bedroom time, if you wish.

As Romans 11:36 says, “For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.” We have free will, but the creation itself is from God. So this blessing in your life is because your Father God created your spouse, and you came together as one flesh before Him.

Take some time today, think of what your spouse does for you in your marriage, and then thank God for that benefit. Build that into your prayer repertoire so that gratitude becomes a part of who you are, both in your marriage and in your life. Learn to approach God with thankfulness in your heart for what you have.

Lift your whole marriage’s altitude with more gratitude.

How to Pray for Your Husband

When I typed that title, I really wanted to write the definitive article on how to pray for your husband. I could even do a step-by-step guide, like WikiHow does.

If you haven’t been to WikiHow, it’s a website that boasts it can explain “how to do anything.” With detailed descriptions and pictures, the site provides clear directions on all kinds of things, including how to shave your legs, make homemade candles, and even avoid or escape a bull. Though by the time you decide to look up that last lesson, it’s probably too late.

Then I wondered: What if WikiHow already has the definitive article on how to pray for your husband? I didn’t see that one, but I did find How to Pray Effectively (Christianity) and How to Pray as a Christian. Maybe they’re just waiting on my brilliant article on How to Pray for Your Husband.

Blog post title + woman praying with sunlight beaming on her

Except I don’t think there is a simple step-by-step. How you need to pray for your husband really depends on who he is and where you are in your marriage and in life.

The non-believing husband likely needs prayer focused on God reaching out to him and also asking God for help with how you can be a living testimony in your marriage. While the deeply religious husband may need prayer for his spiritual leadership in the church and for his evangelism efforts.

The low-drive husband may need prayer for the courage to address sexual infrequency in your marriage and for you to know how to communicate lovingly about that topic. While the high-drive husband may need prayer to better understand your physiological challenges and for you to be more open to his advances.

I could go on with other issues husbands face in life or marriage — porn habits, anger, personal insecurity, etc. — but how to pray for your husband is about the unique husband you have.

So what can you do?

Observe. Too often we assume what’s going on with our spouse, or misinterpret based on our own biases. Become a better observer of what’s really going on. Where does your husband spend much of his time? Who is important in his life? Where does he seem confident, and where does he seem to fumble? Look for clues about what really matters to him and where he needs intercessory prayer.

Listen. What topics does your husband bring up? What worries does he share with you? What dreams or desires has he expressed? When does he shut conversation down? Lots of us wives are better talkers than listeners, but if we’ll listen better, we’ll learn more about our man and how to pray for him.

Reflect. Consider deeply what you truly want for your husband. Go deeper than “I want him to listen to me,” “I want him to help with the housework,” and such, let’s face it, selfish issues. Rather, ask what kind of man your husband would be if he was living up to his God-given potential. What would that look like — in his work, in his parenting, in his marriage, in your sex life? Reflect on what God wants for your husband, and then make that your prayer.

Ask. Why not ask him how he wants you to pray for him? Wouldn’t you respond well to that question? It shows that your spouse is thinking about you, wants to bring your concerns before God, and cares about your well-being. And if your husband answers with specifics, you’ll know exactly what matters to him and can bring that before God.

Invite. You can also invite your husband to pray with you. Then you can hear his concerns as he expresses them to God and add your own support. You can also pray in front of him for things that you desire for him to have, letting him hear your heart for how you want God involved in your marriage and your husband’s life.

Release. What if you sat before God and simply released your husband to Him? What if you came before God with no certainty about what to pray for your husband, but simply meditated on God’s goodness and provision? I suspect that’s what some of us wives need to do from time to time.

Despite the fact that you can read these in order, in nice succinct paragraphs, this is not a step-by-step guide. Rather, these are ideas about how you can figure out how to pray for your husband. You know your husband better than I do, and God knows Him even better than that. I trust that you two, or three, can figure it out.

What other suggestions do y’all have for praying for your husband? Or, for the men reading, praying for your wife?