Tag Archives: quickie

5 Reasons to Love a Quickie

Quickie (n). a brief or spontaneous episode of sexual activity.

Quickies should not comprise the majority of your lovemaking. If they do, you’re not giving your sex life enough time and attention. Because the ultimate goal of sex in marriage is intimacy. And you can’t get super-intimate with your spouse in 5-10 minutes.

That said, when you’ve invested a lot of time with someone, those brief encounters can be great touch-base moments. I’ve seen this with texting my best friend in between seeing one another, quick greetings at church with people I later sit down and talk to at length, and quickies with my husband when we also have longer lovemaking times.

With all that in mind, let me tell you why you should embrace—even love—the quickie!

Stopwatch illustration + blog post title

1. You can take the edge off.

One of the primary reasons to have a quickie is because one or both of you is feeling edgy about not having had sex in a while. A while could be a few days or a week, but for higher interest spouses, the longer they go without, the more the desire translates to physical tension.

Some spouses report getting antsy or cranky without both the physical release and intimate connection sex in marriage provides. Having a quickie can sate that hunger until you have more time for a longer lovemaking encounter.

2. You can avoid little-people detection.

When you have young children in your home, it can be difficult to find time to eat a decent meal or take a shower, much less have extended nookie time. Sometimes, 5-10 minutes is all you have, so you make the best of what you’ve got.

Nearly all kids can be left alone for the time it takes to have a quickie. Yes, you might need to put the baby in the playpen, turn on a kids’ show, or drag out the craft supplies and hope glue doesn’t end up on your walls, but you can figure out how to safely make it happen. And then you can figure out how to make the quickie happen.

3. You can bless your spouse.

Quickies don’t necessarily mean sexual intercourse — any brief sexual activity counts. That means you can take a short period of time and use it to bless your spouse by taking care of their sexual/emotional needs or by just making this time all about them.

Specifically speaking, give him a blow job or a hand job. Give her cunnilingus (aka oral sex) or manually bring her to orgasm. You may need to bring out your best plays and a bit of lube to accomplish what you want, but you might well be able to get in a sweet blessing in only a few minutes.

4. You can have it in places other than the bed.

Quickies are great for the shower, the closet, the car… Wherever space is limited, quickies are wonderful option. You may need to get creative enough with positions to make your bodies come together, but check out Christian Friendly Sex Positions or the Ultimate Intimacy app for ideas. CFSP even has the best sex positions for in a car!

By the way, couples often ask how they can still have sex while on a family vacation, and this might be your best bet. You may not be able to get the hotel room all to yourselves, but even a small hotel bathroom could work for a quickie.

5. You can express true familiarity.

Yes, a long, lazy time of kissing, caressing, and lovemaking is an absolutely beautiful, and crucial, experience in marriage. But the quick, playful moments of a quickie also express how well you’ve come to know each other and your bodies. By cutting to the chase of what he/she really likes, you express the familiarity you’ve come to have.

You know just where to touch her. You know just how to stroke him. Even if it’s not that easy to get revved up yourself, you know how to bless your spouse. We’re better at quickies now than when we were younger, because we’re just better with each other.

What do you like about quickies? And what tips do you have to make quickies go well?

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Yes, quickies are covered more in the book!

Drive-Thru Sex: The Quickie

In her 29 Days to Great Sex series, Sheila Gregoire posted Quickies Are Great! I agree.

What is a quickie? According to Dictionary.com, it’s simply “a hurried sexual encounter.” A quickie can be any sexual encounter — intercourse, oral sex, hand job, etc. — that occurs in a brief span of time. Personally, I would break down sexual encounters as follows:

Extended lovemaking = 5-star restaurant. Most of us don’t go out to posh restaurants all of the time. Those five-course meals that pamper our palate are a treat we enjoy on special occasions.

Usual sex = Family restaurant. This is the place in our neighborhood where we know the menu, have a few favorites, and enjoy an hour or so of good dining. Nothing fancy, but definitely satisfying.

McDonald's Drive-Thru

By Michael Rivera, via Wikimedia Commons

Quickie = Drive-thru. Pick a fast food place, get it on the go, and eat fast. Not recommended as a standard for meals but sates the hunger and can be yummy.

Just like passing through your McDonald’s or Taco Bell drive-thru, there are some things to remember when approaching the Quickie.

Make up your mind quickly. This ain’t a white-tablecloth restaurant where the suited server will wait for as long as you wish to peruse the menu before ordering. You drive up, glance at the menu choices, and lean over to the speaker to order. If you try taking 12 minutes to figure out what you want, you may end up with a traffic jam of angry drivers behind you honking their horns and yelling.

Likewise, if you and your spouse want to have a quickie, decide fast what you mean. Are you performing a hand job for him? Will you have intercourse? Is orgasm a must for you? Keep the expectations clear for what you’re doing so you can enjoy it for what it is. If you try taking 12 minutes to figure out what you want, you may end up with a traffic jam of needy children knocking at your door and yelling.

Speak up clearly. Those drive-thru speakers are not exactly high tech. If you want your order to arrive with some semblance of what you want, you’d better speak loudly and enunciate. You don’t want the attendant hearing “pies” when you said “fries.”

With the Quickie, you must also speak up clearly. This is no time to be patient while hubby slowly strokes the area around where you want to be touched until 10 minutes later he finds the spot. Speak up! Move his hand and say things like, “Right here feels good” or “That’s the spot.” Tell him if something hurts, feels good, or would be better another way. If you want this experience to be a satisfying one, you have to speak up so he can get the order right.

Be prepared for grease. Despite the inclusion of salads on many fast-food menus, let’s face it: Most drive-thru food is greasy. The foods are fried in oil, slathered in butter, or have a naturally high content of fat. You know that going in, so you aren’t surprised when you bite into that battered chicken strip and juices seep out.

Bring out the grease with the Quickie too! In other words, lubrication is key. Have your Astroglide, KY jelly, or coconut oil ready to go. If you’re doing a hand job, I’ve actually referred to it as a lube job because you’ll need to add lots of lubricant. For intercourse, most wives take a substantial amount of time to become “wet” enough for penetration. You likely won’t have time with a Quickie, so get the lubricant out and start with it.

Eat quickly. Um, yeah. Not going to describe this one.

Leave satisfied. Admittedly it’s not the dining experience I’m going to write a magazine review about, but I like some drive-thru food. It sates my hunger. It fills my tummy. It hits the spot.

The Quickie should not be the go-to sexual encounter in marriage, but it definitely has its place. There simply are times when longer intimate experiences are not possible (see The Maintenance Plan for more on that). You’re at the in-laws, your children are young and need regular supervision, your work schedules don’t match up, or whatever. You wouldn’t go without food simply because you don’t have time to make it a three-course meal. In the same way, your marriage need not go without sex because time is currently in short supply. The Quickie can sate your hunger and hit the spot.

One more tip: Build anticipation before you drive through. It will be much easier to enjoy that Quickie if you and hubby are flirting and doing small things for one another throughout the day. You won’t have much time for foreplay with the Quickie, so your foreplay is all of those things you do with and for each other outside of the bedroom. If you invest in your friendship, affection, and desire for one another, it can be a smoother transition to your hubby looking at you and saying, “Quick, let’s have sex!” The Quickie will become a brief physical expression of the longer experiences of deep love you’ve had outside the bedroom.

After writing all of that, I’m hungry now. I’m not going to tell you what for, though.

What do you think of the Quickie? Got any tips for others?