Tag Archives: sex tips for wives

5 Techniques to Knock Hubby’s Bedroom Socks Off

We can overemphasize the physicality and techniques of sex. But once you’ve built that emotional and spiritual connection in your marriage bed, why not discover some good moves that can bring intense pleasure to your husband?

For many wives, knowing more of what they’re doing in the bedroom empowers them to embrace their own sexuality, feel confident about themselves, and get aroused by the effect they have on their man.

So let’s talk about five ways to knock your hubby’s bedroom socks off!

5 Techniques to Knock Hubby's Bedroom Socks Off + graphic of green socks

Quick warning: Some of the following is pretty specific, so if you visualize as you read, please make sure it’s an image of your spouse in your mind. If you struggle with that, step away.

1. Undress yourself slowly.

How do you eat a drive-through hamburger versus a gourmet chocolate dessert? I suspect your partake of the latter more slowly, savoring every bite. Not that I’m opposed to hamburger days, but why not tease out the experience of undressing yourself as if you’re the gourmet dessert. (You totally are, you sexy wife, you!)

A little background music and low lighting can set the mood. Let your husband know that you’ll do the undressing, and he just gets to watch. Then take your time slipping off each item of clothing and tossing it onto the floor or over to him. For added excitement, a wife can touch herself as she goes, stroking her leg sensually as she removes her skirt, running her hands over her breasts as she removes her shirt, even stroking a finger over her pubic mound or lower as she removes her panties.

2. Give him real access.

Many wives feel uncomfortable spreading their legs really wide. But there’s something really arousing to a husband about his wife confidently, unabashedly opening up that area fully so he can have access to see, touch, and pleasure her.

There are a few ways you can give him real access to your vulva. Sit up in a bed or on a chair, tilt your hips forward, and bend your knees out wide. Or lie down, tilt your hips forward, and make a butterfly pose with your legs. Or spread out full-eagle on the bed, one leg to the east, one to the west. For added oomph, specifically invite your husband into your garden with words, a come-hither gesture, or stroking your own vulva a few times to ready the area for his attention.

3. Make it a “yes” night.

Want to know what turns you both on? It’s actually good if you just tell each other, rather than expecting you both to be mind-readers. But for a twist on that, limit what you say during a sexual encounter to the just the word “yes.”

That is, he can only direct you with a yes and should say yes when something feels good. If he wants, you can do the same. But make sure to vary your yeses, showing your enthusiasm for certain sensations. A whispered “yes” and a shouted “yes” strike a different chord with your lover, so use volume, pitch, and tone to communicate your excitement and enjoyment of sexual intimacy.

4. Stroke the underside.

I’ve written about this area before, but there’s a section between a man’s testicles and his anus that can be especially sensitive. It’s called the perineum, or colloquially you might hear the term “taint.” By stroking that underside, you are in contact with the base interior of your husband’s penis, as well as indirectly stimulating the prostate gland, which can be an erogenous zone for men.

Massage or press that perineum on its own or when giving him oral sex, or hook your arm around to stroke him while engaging in intercourse. Pressure against this area can feel really good and intensify his orgasm.

5. Take charge.

Most husbands love seeing their wives filled with enthusiasm for sex — they want their woman to really get into the experience. And nothing says, “I want this, I want you,” quite like taking charge of the movements of intercourse.

Straddle your husband, and then either squat to use your legs to pump up and down on him or sit and rock your hips back and forth. Add in a hip-circle now and then to mix things up and get a new sensation. You can also use a chair, asking him to sit first, then sit on top of him, straddle the chair, and go at your own rhythm until you, he, or both of you reach climax. (For more ideas on positions, Christian Friendly Sex Positions also has an entire section for Wife in Control.)

And for all kinds of ideas on amping up your pleasure and his, check out my book, Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God’s Design.

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Using Your Body for Marital Intimacy: What to Do with Your Hips

Look up “hip” in your Bible, and there isn’t much in the way of romance. There is mention of how the behemoth’s strength is in his hips (Job 40:17), but if a husband dared to bring that reference into the bedroom, he’d deserve the glacier-melting glare he got from his wife.

Interestingly enough, the two passages in Song of Solomon in which the husband describes the beauty of his wife’s body (chapters 4 and 7), he skips right over the pelvic area. Legs are described. Waist is described. But not what comes in between, even though it’s a rather important part of the whole deal. Instead, the Lover (husband) primarily refers to his wife’s lady parts with symbolic language, such as “garden.”

Wooden Mannequin showing hips with "Hips, Hips, Hooray!"But the way God designed a woman’s hips allows them to be somewhat of a wonder worker in sexual intimacy with her husband. If she knows how to use them.

So let’s talk, wives.

Using your hips in marital intimacy can be described by the kinds of motions you can make with them.

Tilting. Front-to-back, your hips can work like a pendulum. Tilting them toward your husband can alter the angle of entry and the resulting sensations you both feel. It can also signal to him that you are fully engaged in what’s happening.

When making love face-to-face, you can tilt your hips forward, which may allow your husband to move deeper. In the rear entry position (husband entering his wife’s vagina from behind), tilting your hips backward opens up the area for him to engage more fully.

Rocking. With that same pendulum motion, you can rock your hips forward and backward. This is one of the ways that a wife can take control of some of the thrusting. It is easiest done with the woman-on-top position, where she can pulse her hips in a consistent rhythm.

Altering the speed of rocking can affect whether this is a playful motion that draws out lovemaking or a more intense motion that draws toward climax. Advantages of this position and motion are that the husband has a wonderful view of his wife’s body and he can continue to touch her breasts and clitoris to increase her pleasure.

Wiggling. Wiggling seems the appropriate word for this motion, because it’s kind of like fidgeting your hips around in your chair — only on your husband. This is a sort of tease you can do with your hips and can be very enjoyable as you pay attention to the way your body parts connect and alter slightly with each movement. Be careful not to wiggle too much or too fast, since his erect penis is not meant to be that flexible.

Riding. Oh, how I considered and reconsidered this descriptive word! But that’s really what it is. If you’ve ever been on a horse (or an elephant or a camel — whatever you ride), you know that feeling of your hips bouncing up and down as the animal trots or gallops.

That same up-and-down bouncing motion can be incredibly hot during sex. The wife moves her hips straight up and down, creating the rhythmic thrust for making love. She does the work, but she’s also more in control of her pleasure. If needed, she can slow the pace down to draw out her arousal, possibly making it more likely that she can achieve climax along with her husband during intercourse. Her husband can also signal what he desires by placing his hands outside her hips and guiding her.

Honestly, the best way to “ride” is to plant your feet (think back to the way an equestrian has stirrups to steady her feet). Thus, squatting over your husband will allow more control than kneeling. Your knees and hips can act together to provide that up-and-down motion. If your legs tire, you can change positions to kneeling for a bit and then return to squatting . . . or at this point, you might agree to have your husband just flip you over and take charge (because he’s likely very turned on by how active you are in this sexual encounter).

There you go — ways to use your hips in marital intimacy.

But now I’ve got a couple of popular songs running through my head that relate to this topic. One particular song I learned from Zumba exercise classes, but it seems appropriate to quote here. As Shakira sings:

And I’m on tonight
You know my hips don’t lie
And I’m starting to feel it’s right
All the attraction, the tension
Don’t you see baby, this is perfection

Sure, the song is about dancing, but it seemed to fit. Now go and have fun with those hips and your hubby!