I want to encourage you to pray to our Mighty, All powerful God. His resources are UNLIMITED resources. Its difficult for me too, because I married an older man, and he had bad sexual habits, and has a tendency to be selfish sexually. Things felt hopeless, I became depressed and even considered suicide (I also was dealing with post-partum). I thought once I got married I would have a husband who would want sex more or as often as me so I could fulfill all his needs. Not so! I have been praying for God to transform my husbands heart, our marriage, our sex, and my heart. To help me to be compassionate to my husband, and forgiving. One thing we also have done, is we have a close married couple for accountability. We both want to honor God, and be transformed by His grace, and so this is something that has helped. The woman friend helps me by telling me scripture about my self-worth being found in Christ, and to be forgiving, enduring, and persevering, praying with me encouraging me not to nag about his lack of, to show grace to my husband when he sins, and the man speaks privately, over breakfast in the corner local restaurant or coffee shop I’m sure in the same manner. It has been very fruitful. We have complete confidence in this couple. They also strive to grow in holiness. I will say that we broke a record, and had sex 3 times this past week! I NEVER thought that would happen. What limits I put on God’s power to think this! God has changed my heart, and I can see God is pushing my husband to be more intentional. I have felt more reassured of his love for me, and see the Power of God working inside of both of us. I give God all the Glory for His ways are higher than mine.
Romans5:1-5
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith[b] into this grace in which we stand, and we[c] rejoice[d] in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Suffering results in HOPE in God that will not be put to shame. God is sanctifying those he loves, and through our suffering it should cause us to turn to God for help, and we can and should endure.

If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard this one…sadly.

My heart goes out to you. I suspect God’s answer to “how much can a man take?” would be His answer to all of those other times in our lives when we feel buried under: “More than you think.” We are called to go far above and beyond in living as Christ-like as we can. Continue to be the husband you should be, knowing before God that you gave it all you could.

And a note of great hope for you: I also hear from couples who have lived for 10, 20, 30, and 40 years with a poor sex life, and then something happened to turn it around. I do wish your wife was the one at this blog. 😉

My prayers for you and your marriage.

Great ideas! You do have to get rather creative at times. 😉

Unfortunately, we live a rather large distance away from the rest of the family, so that type of break is fairly rare. We do, of course, take advantage of it when we can. On one such instance, we got a hotel room and over the course of an entire weekend, our sex paused only for the occasional shower or bite to eat.

I like early mornings myself, but the problem is that they tend to occur on weekends, which are the only times when I’m not obligated to wake up extremely early for career purposes.

My personal philosophy is that if the bedroom door locks, the spur of the moment quickie ought to happen at least occasionally. In my experience, the more a couple does this, the more they like to do it and more often they WANT to do it. It’s when they fall out of the habit that one or both of the couple becomes reluctant.

Perhaps in your instance, you need time away from your kids. Using grandparents, bartering with friends, or finding a babysitter to watch your children might remove them from the equation altogether – thus giving you time to really enjoy.

I have to say that I’m one of those hard-to-arouse-when-kids-could-walk-in women, so early mornings are sometimes a better choice for us. (Nothing like waking up to your hubby gently caressing your skin!)

Best wishes!

She just doesn’t understand that there isn’t always time for more or less drawn out encounter and doesn’t get that sometimes opportunities must be taken as they present themselves.

We once went the better part of a year without because she refuses to have sex if the children are awake. We therefore typically only have happens ridiculously late at night or ridiculously early in the morning. It wasn’t a lack of desire on her part but just being picky.