Comments on: Talking Flirty vs. Talking Dirty

By: Yada, Yada, Yada…Talking During Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Yada, Yada, Yada…Talking During Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous — Tue, 13 May 2014 00:59:09 +0000

[…] on by their wives saying aloud what they want. Now I’m not in favor of talking dirty (see my Talking Dirty vs. Talking Flirty), but I believe that husbands would love to hear such lines […]

By: J

Thu, 21 Nov 2013 21:46:23 +0000

In reply to Anonymous.

There’s some subjectivity, but we all know certain words that don’t appear on prime-time TV…and the reason is that society largely agrees they’re crass. And in the same vein, porn makers certainly know what words they want to use in their films…because society largely agrees they’re crass. So yeah, the line itself is arguable, but I suspect most people agree on more than they think. Thanks so much for your comment!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 21 Nov 2013 21:05:55 +0000

In reply to J. Well my point is, what constitutes "crass?" It all seems rather subjective, you know?

By: J

Thu, 21 Nov 2013 19:04:40 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. Honestly, the melons example was my PG-rated version of the crass language some people use in the bedroom. I agree with you that dropping the F-bomb or using extremely crass language of body parts is more like what I'd consider "dirty." Thanks for your comment!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 21 Nov 2013 17:16:59 +0000

You’re saying that flirty is okay, and dirty is not.

But here’s my question… What makes something dirty?

What is dirty about a man being so overcome by desire for his wife that he says something like, “Baby… Come over here so I can squeeze your melons!”?? (I mean, that’s not even remotely “dirty,” as far as I’m concerned. Dropping the F bomb is dirty.)

As a wife, statements like that (the melon one…) make me feel SEXUALLY DESIRED by my husband. No, comments like those are not Austen-esque romance; I get that– and there’s a place for such “gentle” and eloquent romance. But dear Lord… The raw, rough, passionate drives within us were placed there by God.

I see nothing wrong, and many things right, with being able to let go and express oneself, in simple honesty of excitement, within the privacy and holiness of the marriage bed.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:59:53 +0000

I agree totally with this article. I want flirty – not dirty. Dirty is degrading to me. BUT with that being said, my H likes dirty. We have learned, he talks flirty to me, I talk dirty to him. Marriage is 50/50 with the hopes of each partner getting 100%.

By: Sara with an H

Sara with an H — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:42:54 +0000

I agree with Anonymous. I think if husband and wife are ok with dirty talk, then let them go with it. That being said, my husband and I have had those dirty moments during sex, and while neither of us were offended by it, we both felt weird using certain words, so we have stopped. Now, my husband doesn’t come up behind me and talk all flirty in the middle of the kitchen while I’m cooking dinner (we save that for the bedroom (or after the kids are in bed)), but I think that if dirty talk does it for a married couple and both parties are ok with it (which means constant honest communication about your sex life), then I say go for it!

By: Jessi

Jessi — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 03:22:32 +0000

I know this is an older post that I’m commenting on, but this cracked me up.
In my marriage, I’m the one who likes to talk dirty, and it drives my husband crazy! This is a guy who won’t even say the word “crap”, so any reference to his nether region other than “penis” is dirty. 🙂

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 17:28:41 +0000

Yeah, I don’t really consider dirty talk between two married people to be obscene, foolish, or coarse. See, it really depends what your definition of those words is. If a couple is turned on and has a great sex life because of dirty talk, then who cares? I really really really don’t think my wife is going to be turned on by telling her that her breasts are like clusters of fruit. I know you were not suggesting that we necessarily use biblical language as “flirty talk”, but if each person in the relationship feels respected by the talk, then let them give themselves to each other in that way.

By: J

Fri, 05 Aug 2011 00:36:30 +0000

I get what you’re saying, Thrifty Wealth, but two points here. One, Ephesians 5:3-4 says, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” Verses that apply to fellow Christians should apply as well to your spouse. I don’t think coarse joking is okay with God even if two married people are okay with it. Two, most women aren’t okay with it. So I was trying to address what women do consider sexy – being flirted with using creative and cute language rather than dirty words. Ultimately, these things need to be discussed and resolved between husband and wife. Thanks so much for your comment!