I’m so sorry. I understand this is so hurtful. I know a lot of people want to think otherwise, but most wives understand at some level that their husband viewing porn feels like cheating. Of course, I also understand the constant temptation men face in our porn-hyped culture. Your story is too common.

Yet, this is something you two can overcome together. One marvelous thing here: He confessed. He understood that it was wrong, he took responsibility, he wanted your forgiveness. That’s a really good sign. The next question I’d have for him is what, if any, measures he needs to put in place to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Because while God may have swiped those images away from his brain, the temptation may rise again…and he needs a strategy for dealing with it. He may need to discuss that with someone else, perhaps a male mentor who can help him know better what to do, but it would be good either way for him to address that question.

As to your struggling with this information, here are a few things to consider: (1) He messed up. But it’s just that. A mess-up. And it can be overcome. If you messed up in some big way, you’d likely want his grace, and he wants yours. (2) Continue praying for wisdom, peace, and strength for your marriage. God is faithful. (3) Coach yourself over the humps. When fear and insecurity arise that make you question your intimacy or your husband, remind herself of all of the beauty you have together, that he wanted you to know and be involved in his healing, that it can be marvelous again. Remind yourself that he chose YOU, that YOU are the one he loves and wants to be with. (4) If you need to, get counseling. Talk to a pastor or counselor about your feelings and let them help you grieve and move on. (5) If you continue to struggle, suggest couples counseling and take it from there.

I hope this helps. Saying a prayer for you both.

Kristi 🙂