Daily Archives: October 3, 2011

Sex for Dogs and Duos

I told myself I would not write about this, but I cannot resist.

A French company has come out with a sex toy for dogs. It’s called the Hot Doll, is described as the “1st sex toy and companion for your dog,” and its slogan is “for trendy dogs only.” Lest you think I am making it up:

The product comes in black and a white, in case your pup has a preference. (By the way, poor Tchaikovsky must be turning over in his grave from the use of his Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy in this ad.)

I shall begin with the caveat that I have never owned a dog. However, if I did have a dog, I cannot imagine a scenario in which I would purchase my mutt a sex toy. When I heard about the Hot Doll, I wasn’t sure whether to laugh, shake my head, or scream, “What is wrong with you people!”

A sex toy for dogs represents exactly how far the world has moved away from normality to sensationalism. Is there a limit to our fascination with sexuality? Is there a point at which we have gone too far to provide stimulation for sexually-charged individuals? Could it be when those individuals are dogs?

What renders this a worthy topic is that it is sad to provide a substitute for what God designed, even to a dog. If your pet desires to copulate, it is because God has given him a natural inclination to engage with another dog and reproduce a litter of puppies. (You know, those cute, furry puppies that you will be begging other people to give homes to while your children attempt to name and adopt them all before you can get them out the door.)

Our society has done a lot to make sex a solitary activity. We are encouraged to partake in pornography, erotica, masturbation, sex toys, and other forms of personal pleasure without the presence of a partner. People who scratch their heads at the craziness of a dog sex toy often don’t see any problem with visiting a strip club or watching an adult movie in a hotel room on a business trip.

Think about it: Humans have been treating themselves like these dogs for a long time — seeking sexual pleasure outside of a relationship. After all, you and your dog can climax without a mate.

But that isn’t how God designed sexuality! Sex is an undertaking for TWO. Now while Fido may be happy to engage with any willing pooch, humans should seek physical intimacy in the committed bonds of marriage. God designed sexuality to be a satisfying experience between a husband and wife which may produce children and will foster deeper connection. If you do incorporate tools or toys into your lovemaking, it should be for your mutual pleasure.

Next time you consider taking care of your sexual needs entirely by yourself, put this image in your head:

Ask yourself if sex is really supposed to be a solitary undertaking. If God wanted Spot, Rex, and Benji to mate in duos, why would He want anything less for you? In fact, He desires more. Which is why God gave us marriage with love and a lifetime commitment.

Put away whatever you’re using as a Hot Doll and sidle up to your real-life Hot Honey. Make your sexuality part of an intimate relationship. It may take more work initially, but the rewards in closeness are worth the effort.

And for heaven’s sake, do not buy that product for your canine. Let your man’s best friend defile the bow-headed mini-poodle down the street (I’m sure the neighbors won’t mind a few puppies) or get him fixed. I’m just sayin’.