Comments on: Orgasm: If Only I Could O

By: J

Sun, 08 Jun 2014 20:56:40 +0000

In reply to Lynn. Wow. Congrats on figuring it out! Some aspects of sexual intimacy really are unique to the individual/couple. It's a great testimony that you worked together to figure things out. Many blessings!

By: Lynn

Lynn — Wed, 04 Jun 2014 20:36:52 +0000

I have a wonderful Christian husband and when we got married we were both virgins. Although he did an amazing job of working with me, I was very frustrated that after 4 months I still couldn’t have an orgasm. I did have some pain initially with sex, but he went slow and was sensitive. I wanted to figure this out, so I wanted to keep trying! I had also been on birth control, but my hormones were a mess so we threw them out after 3 months. And as we kept working on things, he would encourage me to let him know what gave me the strongest feelings of arousal. Even though he tried to concentrate on or around my clitoris (gentle, with lots of lube) I still couldn’t get there…even though that is what ALL the books say. Then we began to realize that for me, breast/nipple stimulation was very arousing to me. He had me be on top, so he could easily stimulate my nipples…and guess what? With continual stimulation and with me being able to move the right way…I had an ORGASM!!! In fact, when it first came, I was so surprised that it almost scared me! LOL!! But we were both so excited and I cried with joy!!! I think I had felt like something was so wrong with me, and was overjoyed that I now could experience this!!! Once we figured it out (nipple stimulation both in foreplay and during intercourse) I have an orgasm almost every time we have sex…WhooHoo!!! And if I don’t, its usually b/c we didn’t have enough foreplay (nipple stim) to get me fully aroused. I’m so thankful that my husband kept working with me and encouraged me to listen to my body…not just books. Each of us are different and you must pay attention to what causes you to have the most good “twinges” and waves of arousal. Keep following those…or try doing them all together…and you will find the path to orgasm! I also think that getting off birth control was HUGE for me…because my libido was so low during that time. We have now been married 12 years, have 4 beautiful babies, and our sex life continues to get better! Yes, there are ups and downs with pregnancy and all, but thankful that God has given us this life together and what a blessing to share in sweet, passionate intimacy together!

By: Using Your Body in Marital Intimacy: Your Hands | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Using Your Body in Marital Intimacy: Your Hands | Hot, Holy & Humorous — Tue, 13 May 2014 02:20:45 +0000

[…] After that, tune in to what your body wants — be it slow and soft touches or faster movement and increased pressure. If you want to achieve orgasm as he watches, find that knobby bit of flesh above your vagina (your clitoris) and stroke it gently, moving in various ways to see what feels good. Increase speed and pressure as you heat up. For tips on reaching orgasm, check out my post on that topic. […]

By: Sexual Olympics: Are You a Gold Medalist? | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Sexual Olympics: Are You a Gold Medalist? | Hot, Holy & Humorous — Tue, 13 May 2014 02:06:06 +0000

[…] can wait. Indeed, a strong focus on the sensations and pleasure of sexual intimacy can help wives achieve orgasm more easily […]

By: Preparing Yourself for Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Preparing Yourself for Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous — Tue, 13 May 2014 01:18:01 +0000

[…] Using these tips to prepare yourself for sex, you might find yourself more in the mood for lovemaking than you originally felt. Hopefully, you can get turned on as you progress into this sexual encounter with your husband. And if you want tips on how to reach orgasm, you can check out that post HERE. […]

By: Female Ejaculation: Is It Real? | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Female Ejaculation: Is It Real? | Hot, Holy & Humorous — Tue, 13 May 2014 01:17:45 +0000

[…] is not a reflection of your sexual prowess, the level of her pleasure, or her ability to orgasm. I suspect it’s a function of how big her Skene’s glands […]

By: Oral Sex: Better to Give and Receive, Part Deux | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Oral Sex: Better to Give and Receive, Part Deux | Hot, Holy & Humorous — Tue, 13 May 2014 01:02:16 +0000

[…] like I suggested in my post about how to orgasm (If Only I Could O), you have to shut off the distractions, train yourself to open up to the sensations your body is […]

By: Beyond the Single Orgasm | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Beyond the Single Orgasm | Hot, Holy & Humorous — Tue, 13 May 2014 00:59:42 +0000

[…] Now some of you wives may be asking yourself, “Multiple orgasm? Simultaneous orgasm? Good gracious, I’ll settle for ONE Big O!” If you have difficulty reaching climax, then I suggest you pop right over to my post on If Only I Could O. […]

By: Where Should I Look during Sex? | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Where Should I Look during Sex? | Hot, Holy & Humorous — Tue, 13 May 2014 00:59:26 +0000

[…] Now eyes-closed has its place in the bedroom, of course. Sometimes closing one’s eyes allows a wife to block out external distractions and focus on her body’s sensations – one of the keys, in my opinion, to having an orgasm. […]

By: Ashlee

Ashlee — Tue, 01 Apr 2014 15:13:17 +0000

Thanks for the reply. I don’t have any past porn use or rape issues. I’ve had a couple men touch me inappropriately in my teenage years but like through playing the “tickle” game and it become awkward and another incident that way more deliberate but not anything I freaked out over. I was able to leave the situation and was always fully dressed when they attempted to have inappropriate touch but it was obviously in welcomed and awkward. I’m just sharing these making aware that I have addressed these potential issues mentally. I did give my self away foolishly to the first man I ever loved and after a few years I found out he was unfaithful and I ended that relationship painfully. The only other person I’ve been with is my husband. He’s wonderful and loves The Lord. He is a manly man and I will say that the stronger he grows into being the spiritual leader of our home the more attratced I am to him. I also know that even as a teenage I was always more attracted to older men and all my high school friends weren’t. I was attracted to men as in salt n pepper hair and like age 40. Even now I am excited to imagine my hubby at age 40! I have a loving father who is my rock and the the rock of our family. Just a good ol boy so I never experienced issues with not having a father figure becaue I did have a great strong father. You said that maybe becaue it had been so long since I have felt arousal that I can’t allow myself to lean into the moment. Well… I’ve never experienced physical arousal like that in my life that I know of. That was my first time. Ever. Also I was on birth control 10 treats ago for a maybe 5 years or less and I didn’t have a libido or arousal prior to the birth control and have never had either libido or birth control. Even as a teenager when my hormones are supposed to be raging. Never has that boy crazy side to me. My girl friends always said I could have been a nun. I have been on a journey and praying a lot. I read the good girls guide to sex and we are on day 6 of shields 31 day challenge. I also reading kiss me again about past sexual bonds and healing and such. All in which are great insight. I can say that I believe my husband and I are making progress especially since I actually felt an arousal response but what’s helped my libido go from non existent to alive has been the mental side of things. Such as reframing my thoughts about both the spiritual purpose of the marriage bed AND forcing myself to bring sexual thoughts to my brain while say doing dishes. Since I have never cared to have sex I also never dream or fantasize or even think about it either. Since making myself try to think about sexual things and fantasies and trying to really concentrate and not letting my mind wonder (very hard!) I find myself more open to my husbands advances and it’s not feeling like a chore anymore and I am enjoying our intimate times together more. I do want to get my hormones checked BUT what can they do for me if I have a true arousal disorder? We’ve had more sex in the last month than we have in the last Year or more and I have been joking with my husband that he has awakes sleeping beauty! That arousal response is such a hope for me that maybe my body can feel pleasure and maybe it’s not broke but was just never awakened. There may be some physical problems too since this has just always been so for me and I can definelty see how my brain really is my biggest sex organ. I appreciate your response. I don’t know why I like the dominant move so much and since then I’ve ventured into that even further and have found is very erotic to be told what to do and demanded. I am a perfectionist and critical and control freak kind of person so maybe just maybe not being able to “allow myself to lean into the pleaure” is a very real issue but I feel like I am reallllllllllly trying to hyper focus on just feeling SOMETHING! Also maybe that’s why I like the dominance and even being told what to do In a dominant / submissive manner. Maybe is allows me to mentally let go of my control issues and someone else is in control. Problem is the how do your turn it off??????? Mysteries! Thanks for this blog. Maybe someday I will arrive on this joirney to experience the pleasure of arousal and even better RELEASE!