I think what you have to do is focus on him as a person, as your husband, as the man you love. Attraction, even sexual attraction, can be jump-started by real, deep love….”This is my husband. He is mine. I am his. God made him for me, and me for him.” Sexual attraction doesn’t have to be based on physical appearance. My husband’s body and my own body have changed over time, but I am incredibly turned on by him – my mind once purposely skipped over certain things because the big picture is what’s important, and eventually those certain things that my mind originally skipped over became parts that I love deeply as well, that I adore, that I cherish. No other man has ever turned me on, but my husband – who I consider to be the sexiest, hottest, most handsome and most attractive man in the world, even though the world may not think so – turns me on 24/7. Just hearing his voice makes me want to jump him. And I have to say, I see more and more delight, as time goes on, in my husband’s eyes when he looks at my body. He adores me because I’m his, and he can’t get enough of my body – he even thinks my cellulite is adorable, because he’s looking at ME. Make your spouse your standard of beauty – don’t listen to what the world tells you a man or woman is “supposed” to look like. And find things that you do like, to focus on, while your mind is catching up to the love of your heart. Maybe he smells nice – and if not, get him a sexy smelling soap and deoderant to use! One great thing about being a wife is that I typically am the one to buy the toiletries, so I know he’s going to smell nice; and I know his sizes and shop for his clothes (something he hates to do!), so I know that he’s going to look nice! haha. Maybe he has adorable eyes, or cute ears. Maybe his voice is nice to listen to. Spend time thinking about things that you like, and think of only those good things! If his tummy pokes out and that turns you off, mentally skip over that when you see him naked. Just don’t even think about it. Think only about the good, and about how much you love him, and how much he loves you.

Then I read this post about our husbands bodies and it still left me feeling uncomfortable. Don’t ask my why but it did. I kind of laughed it off.

Then I heard Shakira’s song today out of the blue and it reminded me of this. I had to look up the lyrics and hear the song again but it really changed my thinking about how to view and perceive my husbands body. In the right context and mature frame of mind it really is a beautiful song.

“Underneath Your Clothes”

You’re a song
Written by the hands of God
Don’t get me wrong cause
This might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
And right under your clothes
Is where I find them

Because of you
I forgot the smart ways to lie
Because of you
I’m running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party’s over
We will still belong to each other

I love you more than all that’s on the planet
Movin’ talkin’ walkin’ breathing
You know it’s true
Oh baby it’s so funny
You almost don’t believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence
Lamps are hanging from the ceiling
Like a lady tied to her manners
I’m tied up to this feeling

Underneath Your Clothes
There’s an endless story
There’s the man I chose
There’s my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

True, but a wife has to want to learn. Sadly, most women who read these posts typically already get it, and you’re likely preaching to the choir, so to speak. Having my genitalia be regarded as pretty unflattering by my wife for the full 20+ years of marriage has done quite a number on my self-esteem. My only hope is to continue to pray that the Lord does a miracle in my wife’s outlook.