John, I don’t believe that the scripture you quoted indicates that “nothing that you and your husband do in the privacy of your bedroom is sinful.” Of course, third parties in your bedroom are not okay. Injuring your partner is not okay. There are limits. Since God designed sexuality, everything that happens in the marriage bedroom should honor Him.

Moreover, the verse from my Bible reads, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.” The word translated “undefiled” is the NT Greek word “amiantos” — which means “has nothing in it which defiles; unpolluted.” Thus, I think it is possible to pollute the marriage bedroom, which is why there is an admonition not to do so.

Thanks for your comment. I know some people disagree with me on this post. I simply hope people will think about it.

John Wilder

John Wilder

Again, I don’t 100% agree with it but it was good food for thought and a reminder to reconsider some of the habits I had started and reset to see if it would aid our intimacy. It did!

Oh, I wouldn’t consider those examples as too extreme myself. Frankly, I do not know what would qualify, as I think the words would be acceptable based on what the couple in question is comfortable with. In fact, some activities probably can’t be described in words that are exactly delicate!

Also, it might even be a good idea for a woman to forgo asking what a guy likes sometimes, and merely comment “You like my…, don’t you”. It’s nice for men to see their wives confident about their bodies. It can be frustrating for a guy to see a woman down on herself about her body, especially when it’s about a part that he likes it just the way it is. I think instead of looking for reassurance by asking asking a man “Does my such and such look fat in this outfit?”, a woman would get a more enthusiastic and honest response if she asked her husband what he thinks about it during the middle of intimacy; she’d find out exactly what he thinks about (and would probably be very happy with the response).

I think it might also help to not worry too much about complimenting his looks (though those are appreciated). If a woman wants to compliment him, he would probably be more pleased to hear about his technique and/or his “manhood”.

Just my thoughts on the matter…not everyone is the same, but I think those ideas would be worth a try for most couples.

Well, maybe my examples are too much for some. I consider talking dirty to include more of the cuss or crass words for body parts and sexual activities. Anyway…

Thanks for the tip, Ed!

I love that bit of playfulness, Christy. 😉

In case, I think that anything a couple says to each other is acceptable so long as they don’t find it offensive.

My tip to women on the topic of talking during sex would be, instead of just commenting on your husband’s body, ask him what he likes about yours, or even mention that you enjoy having such a body that turns him on. It creates a sort of feedback loop.

I like your statement about these moments being better for sharing feelings. There is an openness with physical intimacy that can encourage emotional intimacy as well. Great stuff, Britney!