Daily Archives: February 6, 2012

Why Wait Until Marriage?

Pedestrian crosswalk sign (wait)

Hold up there! Benoît Prieur (Aga), via Wikimedia Commons

This is a unusual for me, but rather than writing a post on why you should wait to have sex in marriage, I’m referring you to sources that discuss this topic. However, all four of these relate to me.

First, Preengaged from Eric and Heather Viets asked me to do a couple of guest blog posts for their site. Eric and Heather offer pre-engagement counseling, and their posts are particularly good for couples who are dating, engaged, or recently married. That said, I’ve been married a looooong time, and I get a lot of out reading what they discuss as well.

Back in August, I did a two-part article for their blog on Sex Before Marriage. I discussed eight reasons why it isn’t a good idea.

Sex Before Marriage, Part 1

Sex Before Marriage, Part 2

Second, another wonderful marriage resource is the Stupendous Marriage Show (which I’ve mentioned here before). Stu and Lisa Gray host this podcast and cover all kinds of marriage topics. In their program, they admitted to having lived together before getting hitched and said that they wished they had done it differently. Out of curiosity, I sent them the following email:

Stu & Lisa,

I have a question. You have mentioned several times on your Stupendous Marriage show that you lived together before marriage; however, you said that would do it differently if given the chance to do it over again. My question is: Why?

Is it merely the conviction that waiting until your wedding night would honor God more? Or do you think it hampered your relationship in some way? I know that studies show a higher divorce rate for those who have cohabited prior to marriage, but a lot of people still believe cohabitation is a good idea to try the waters out and get used to living with someone. What do you think?

Thanks so much for your ministry. It is a blessing to couples seeking stronger marriages.

J (Hot, Holy & Humorous)

They did an excellent job of answering this very question in Stupendous Marriage Episode 27. Stu and Lisa then followed up with more commentary after receiving feedback from a listener. That conversation is in Stupendous Marriage Episode 28.

As you may know, I blew it on this front. My Personal Testimony is at the top of this page if you want to click it and learn more. However, I have figured out that God really does know what He’s talking about: Sexual intimacy is worth waiting for.

One more addition, which has nothing to do with me: Sheila Gregoire of To Love, Honor and Vacuum recently posted Should We Really Wait for Marriage to Make Love? Sheila has a lot of sound advice for women and marriage.

I’m also guest posting today at the Mystery 32 Blog on What’s So Beautiful about Marital Intimacy?