Comments on: Soul Mate or Sole Mate?

By: Mrs. Right

Mrs. Right — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 20:18:44 +0000

I never believed in "love at first sight" or "soul mates" until I met my husband. But I guess I just used the term "soul mate" because that's the phrase that's bandied about everywhere. This is a second marriage for both of us, after our spouses each went their own way in sexual sins (we didn't know each other until after divorces).
We do feel "complete" with each other, and it's because of the full spirit, soul, and body connection we have to each other. We don't take it for granted, though. We have been through many terrible tragic circumstances, yet our love (and our faith in our Creator and hope in eternity) has sustained us through it all. I truly feel incomplete when we are apart, and I know he feels the same.
I will now refer to him as my sole mate :)
BTW, I just discovered your blog a few days ago, and I've been reading my way backward through each and every post. I love them all! Blessings to you!

By: van Rooinek

van Rooinek — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 05:28:47 +0000

If you ever find your one true soulmate -- RUN! It was the worst heartbreak of my life. To be rejected by the one I was seemingly created for, whose mind echoed my own and vice versa, just about did me in.

I eventually married someone else, she is my SPIRITmate not my soulmate. Our emotions and interests aren't quite so in line, and we don't finish each other's thoughts (well...after 10 years we sort of do now) but we are in tune with each other's faith and morals, to a much closer extent than the "soul mate".

A soul mate is just an emotional match. Meeting one can be emotionally powerful, just as meeting a good physical match can be a powerful visual memory. But neither one is your magical mystical destiny person. Learned that the hard way.

By: Reid

Reid — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 20:37:11 +0000

And let me add that Cameron Crowe, the writer and director of that scene from "Jerry Maguire," got divorced from his wife of many years, Nancy Wilson, not that long ago.

I agree with all this, yet I also believe this, which squares with the Bible a lot more neatly: "Soul mates isn't what you ARE, it is what you BECOME over time." I believe that is true for pretty much every successful marriage.

By: Bushido Mama

Bushido Mama — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 06:13:09 +0000

Love this post and couldn’t agree more! I spent the first year of our marriage doubting that I’d married the right person and thinking that I had made a big mistake. But it was a done deal, we’d made the vows, and divorce wasn’t an option. Now after 12 years (and five children!) together, we’re happier than I would have dreamed possible. It’s because we both have the mindset that our only options are 1) live together miserably or 2) live together happily.
It’s worth every bit of the work we’ve put into it!

By: Damilola Afolabi

Damilola Afolabi — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 16:23:19 +0000

I also believe there is no biblical basis for the soul mate concept. Knowledge of this will enable folks that feel stuck in certain relationships to break free and live their lives 100% until they find their 'sole mate'.

Love your post as always.

By: Do Not Disturb Blog

Do Not Disturb Blog — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 13:25:58 +0000

Love this post. Very well written and I fully agree. Commitment, sacrifice, God’s help….those are the things that make marriages last. I recently had a conversation with someone who said they didn’t see what was so hard about marriage and I thought to myself, “You must not be doing it right!”. I am not saying that marriages are difficult all the time or that there are serious problems but I think anything worth fighting for is difficult. It is not human nature to put someone else first thus marriage is not easy. Thanks for sharing.

Megan

By: Erin

Erin — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:12:36 +0000

My mom told me that one of the reasons their marriage has been successful now for 36+ years is that they determined from the beginning that divorce was never an option, that they were in this life together and no matter what they would never even joke about divorce.

I know that if someone is in an abusive or adulterous relationship that some of those rules have to change. But I think it is a really great rule to live by. Looking at your husband as a permanent part of your life no matter what is a really great way to make you seek creative ways to make your marriage work. Because if you're going to be together always, it might as well be good, right?

By: Erica

Erica — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:04:41 +0000

Great post, thanks! I know that I married who God wanted me to but we didn’t have a very romantic dating/courtship and no wedding at all, so sometimes I get more focused on that, instead of making our marriage now one that is “worthy of heavenly applause.” (Loved that phrase by the way!)

By: Stacy Makes Cents

Stacy Makes Cents — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:45:07 +0000

I LOVE this post! You are SPOT on…the divorce rate would drop drastically if more people embraced this mindset.
Keep on keepin’ on…love your posts and your take on things. Thank you!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:37:25 +0000

Well said! Amen!!

Jason
@SongSix3