Comments on: A Month Without Sex?! Advice for New Moms

By: Sexual Intimacy & Your Period: Tips for Wives | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Tue, 13 May 2014 02:05:05 +0000

[…] certainly reasons in the course of our lifetime when intercourse is simply off the table — recovery from childbirth or a surgery, physical distance (e.g., military spouses), or severe illness. Can couples weather […]

By: Rachel

Rachel — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 23:49:10 +0000

In reply to Brigitte. I was going to add this as well, and I am surprised it was not mentioned in the article. Breast feeding causes vaginal dryness and a lowered sex drive. Even if you have a high drive now, breast feeding can wipe it out. The dryness goes hand in hand with the suppression of fertility breast feeding causes. Attempting sex postpartum while nursing without lubrication (and I mean a LOT if it) can be very painful but it does not mean something is wrong either. It's from the hormones.

By: Post-it Note

Post-it Note — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 21:00:35 +0000

I think this is a great post. Also, the when after should be when you feel like it, as moms differ from each other.

By: J

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 15:32:47 +0000

In reply to Christy. Thanks, Christy, for your input as an adoptive mom! Yes, it's hard whether you gave birth or not. Those little ones are demanding those first few months.

And I especially appreciate your feedback because I have many friends who adopted, and I think it's a wonderful thing! We are exhausted, loving moms whether they came from our womb or another because we change the diapers, kiss the boo-boo's, and tuck them in at night (or early morning, as the case may be).

By: Christy

Christy — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:14:27 +0000

I can’t add to the after birth experience but I will tell you we adopted both our girls at birth. And even though I had not just given birth I was exhausted physically and mentally. I was thinking,”Oh God I love this sweet baby but what have we just done WHAAAAAAAAA!!!!” LOL! It is such a change to both of your lives that you will roll with the punches, adjust and like Heather L. said find a new time, place and possibly way to re-connect. We had to quit counting on night time sex too because we were soooo tired. Even now with our kids being 11 and 8 we find we need to sneak away in the afternoon or early morning to have sex. We’re still too tired after school stuff, dance practices, art classes, youth group stuff. Ha! Tired is a way of being when you have kids. But I wouldn’t trade my kids or the new way we go about finding time together for the world. Be blessed with your new baby.

By: Heather L.

Heather L. — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 14:03:17 +0000

I would like to add that you may want to experiment with the time of day… for me.. I was absolutely exhausted at night, but having sex in the morning worked better for us because I wasn’t as tired, and my testosterone was higher. Hubby and I have JUST started getting back to normal sex life ( it has been sparse for a while now) We are actually starting Sheila’s (of http://www.tolovehonorandvacuum.com) 29 Days to Great Sex Challenge. I read through the whole challenge before talked to the hubs about it (wanted to make sure everything was in our realm of belief and appropriate) and it totally is. Just reading through it has hugely impacted my perspective and attitude about sex unlike any other book etc. has. Sorry for the rant. But try morning sex! It will be great way to send your hubby off to work as well 🙂

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 01:23:12 +0000

With my first I couldn’t wait to get back at it. I bled for about 4 weeks & had had a c section so we just waited for the bleeding to stop and went to town. With #2 i had a vaginal birth and I had tore really bad so I was not rushing back into it like my hubby would have liked. And I was happy that I ended up bleeding for 6 weeks. The first time I was super sensitive and it hurt, you definitely need to take your time and find the best position for your comfort. I’m breastfeeding and don’t have the drive I used to have and I’ve heard that is normal because of hormones, just like you can be dryer too. If you are nursing they don’t want you taking the pill, so figure out what type of prevention you want to use if you don’t want another little one soon.

By: Do Not Disturb Blog

Do Not Disturb Blog — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 00:43:00 +0000

J, you shared so many great thoughts and there are some great comments here too. My midwife gave the 3-4 week recommendation on waiting and come day 21 we gave it a try. My first labor and delivery was much longer and harder so there was a good bit of pain and we took it easy. My second delivery was super easy and the pain the first time was almost non existent.

The thing that threatened to steal my sex drive was PPD. I struggled with wanting sex at all, not because it was painful physically but because I felt awful emotionally. The tenderness of my husband and my desire to keep at least one thing "normal" in my life actually helped me heal. Sexual intimacy with my husband met needs in me I didn't know I had or that I needed. It wasn't all about the physical release or the urge but it certainly did things for me I never would have guessed. I am glad to say sex played a big part in coming out of my PPD. I know that will not be the case for everyone but it is part of my story.

Megan

By: Rachael Younger

Rachael Younger — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 19:44:58 +0000

I ended up with a c-section, so the healing was different, for sure. And by 2 weeks post delivery, I was roaring ready to go. We waited another 2 weeks to give it the “wait at least 4 weeks, please” from the NP. With plenty of lube and going slow, I found my mojo, and we’ve had a good time since. And yes, orgasm got the milk flowing for the first few months, but by month 4 or 5 my body seems to have figured out that nursing and orgasm were different and the milk flow post-O stopped.

For those who follow NFP or charting, it can be hard to figure out when your fertility returns while breastfeeding. I’ve read that your body won’t release an egg if and only if the baby is nursing every 3 to 4 hours during the day and at least every 6 hours at night AND the baby is less than 6 months old. Of course, I’m going on 11 months of no “protection” and breastfeeding and nothing happening here. That said, if you are looking to NFP or charting, be sure to be observant about the various signs showing your fertility returning.

By: Kristin

Kristin — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 19:05:17 +0000

I just recently gave birth to our 4th little munchkin 7 weeks ago. We barely made it 3 weeks before giving in to each other. We spent a lot of time hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc.

My advice for when your finally ready is talk to your husband, let him know how you're feeling and to take it slow!