Daily Archives: July 26, 2012

Confessions of a Sex-Happy Wife

Inspiration can come from all kinds of places. This post, however, was completely inspired by Julie Sibert of Intimacy in Marriage. You might want to start there by reading her post on 10 Confessions of a Wife Who Loves Sex.

Now here are my 10 Confessions from this wife who loves sex with her husband. (Thanks, God!)

1. We’re better lovers than we used to be. As we have grown in our relationship and our knowledge of one another’s bodies, and as we have learned to be more giving in the bedroom, we have become better lovers. My hubby knows how to push my happy buttons, and I know what he likes as well.

2. I enjoy initiating. We tend to trade off initiating without any plan to do so. Sometimes he thinks of it more or first, sometimes I do. But it makes the hubby feel like a million bucks to know I genuinely want him both emotionally and physically.

3. I like trying new things. By new, I mean a different position, a new place, a game, different lighting, etc. I have gotten some great ideas from reading blogs in this area and from my own quirky imagination.

4. Sometimes I think about sex during church. C’mon, you know sometimes your mind wanders right in the middle of a long sermon. Perhaps I’ve listened to everything the preacher has said when suddenly I glance over at my husband’s broad shoulders, the curve of his biceps, the sinewy muscles in his hands, and I want those hands on me. All over me. I take a deep breath, make plans for later in the day, and return my focus to the worship service.

5. I love using word play to flirt and set the stage for intimacy. The hubs and I joke quite a lot to suggest being intimate. We’ll refer to each other’s bodies in fun ways and use double entendres with abandon.

6. I feel like throwing a party every time I find another Christian wife who loves sex. There are lots of us, but not many willing to say aloud that they desire and enjoy God’s gift of sexuality. We’re like an underground movement, using code names, practicing secret knocks, and saying things like, “The peacock squawks at midnight.”

7. I struggle with wanting sex sometimes. As much as I love physical intimacy with my husband, I struggle with accepting his advances when he has been absent in other ways or just plain irritating. I have to take my own advice then and talk it out or suggest a better time. Rejection is hurtful and injures our relationship, and I want to grow love, not squash it.

8. I feel better about my body after sex. While it’s hard to get naked when you’re not entirely thrilled about your body, I allow myself to let go with my husband and enjoy our intimacy. In turn, I watch my husband revel in my body–which results in me feeling better about this body. It’s obviously not too bad if he wants it and enjoys it so much.

9. I like that my kids smile and roll their eyes when we touch. While kids may act embarrassed seeing their parents touch and kiss one another, they are secretly happy about it. Children get a sense of security when they see their parents expressing love. We are also role-modeling God’s design for marriage when we plant a sexy smackeroo on one another’s lips right in front of the younguns.

10. I have thought a lot about speaking publicly to other wives about enjoying sex. In fact, I have a presentation outline drafted. I want EVERY Christian wife to enjoy sex with her husband. My heart is that every wife will come to appreciate physical intimacy and experience it the way God intended.

But I don’t think that presenting my talk like this would be very compelling:

Face in paper bag

I tried to find a regular paper bag, but this was all I could come up with!

So I guess I’ll wait for the public speaking gig when I’m ready to reveal the face behind the blog.

Now it’s your turn to share! If you are a wife who enjoys sex, please share why and how you came to love it. Your story may inspire someone who has yet to experience the fullness of God’s gift of sexuality in her marriage.

Thanks, Julie, for the great idea!

Also, I had a guest post for Wifey Wednesday with Sheila Gregoire at To Love, Honor, and Vacuum. Check out that post here: What Comes First? Sex or Friendship? Thanks, Sheila.

Added on Friday: Also check out Lori’s addition to this topic with 10 Confessions from a Sex-Positive Wife on The Generous Wife blog.