Comments on: Purity B4 Marriage, Sexual Intimacy After: Teen’s Q

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 18:12:25 +0000

I really appreciated this thread of discussion. I’ll have to admit that I am a 23 year old woman, without so much as a boyfriend in the last 4 years. Sometimes my heart aches when I think that I may never get married and experience this sort of intimacy. Embarrassing as it is to admit, I have always had a very high sex drive, ever since I discovered Harlequin romances at 15 years old (I wasn’t raised in a Christian home and my mom didn’t mind that I read them). I have such a hard time not thinking about sex sometimes. I even have had to masturbate in the past, even though I feel extremely guilty after (does anyone else think it is wrong to masturbate when you are not married? I always feel like such a pervert, but it’s hard not to.)
I REALLY appreciate what you said about singles focusing on their relationship with God. You have given me hope that as long as I work on the Christian that I am supposed to be now, that maybe one day the rest will follow. Thank you again!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 04 Oct 2012 05:46:16 +0000

Our wedding night was a poor kickoff and we didn’t even get to full intercourse until after the honeymoon when we were back in the comforts of our apartment. I wasn’t comfortable with my body at all and we had “experimented” but not crossed the line to anything below the waist before the wedding. For the first six months of our marriage, our sex life was nearly non existent and painful when we did and I thought God was punishing us. Thankfully, we spent time in His Word together, confessed our sins before the Lord, and our sex life rapidly improved. I remember in the months leading up to the wedding I had no idea how to please a man or even what his anatomy really looked like… or my own for that matter. I was estranged with my mom and grandma at the time and didn’t really know my mother-in-law. I had no clue where to seek sexual advice and spent most of my time researching on the Internet on marriage blogging sites and through books I found. I taught myself practically everything without the help of my family or the Church. I am greatly saddened that most young Christian women don’t know where to turn because they aren’t getting good godly advice from anyone. I commend you J for writing on this topic and for bravely sharing with the world issues that need to be discussed more in the Church.

By: Greg

Greg — Mon, 01 Oct 2012 18:10:00 +0000

In reply to gdonner. I just wanted to add some thoughts that I felt really needed saying in all of this:

You can't keep young people from your blog--and that's a very GOOD thing, because the hard-to-swallow truth is that even what you consider to be the most detailed info about sexuality you've ever shared here pales in comparison to what they have probably already been exposed to elsewhere on the Internet or in a movie, TV show, friends, or through music. It's all around them 24/7. They are going to find out about sexuality, whether they asked for it or not.

I say all this from my own experience as a missionary kid raised in Africa in a Godly home--even before the Internet or smart phones existed.

So they can hear the truth and be challenged and encouraged about waiting and hoping for something God intended to be beautiful, and pleasurable, and life-giving; or in a few clicks they can return to the Internet's sexual sewage where they'll find anything and everything BUT the truth.

They need to process what they hear, and see, and feel. Most kids are not "innocent" anymore--they have been exposed to things you and I would never imagine possible. The church _desperately_ needs to wake up to this fact that they need honest, out-of-my-comfort-zone-on-this biblical truth like we all need oxygen.

Telling them "Go live in a bubble until the night of your wedding, then come back and talk to us" hasn't been working.

Where do we want to send them?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 20:13:47 +0000

Thank you, J. Thank you very much.

By: Jana Greene

Jana Greene — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 01:34:29 +0000

Awesome post – so much good stuff in here. Thank you for sharing it!

By: Pearl

Pearl — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 01:10:21 +0000

J, Excellent! My heart, too, aches for this young lady’s loss of innocence. I know God sent her your way because your words of insight are real, wise and God honoring.

By: thegozette

thegozette — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 23:23:44 +0000

Very well written. Good information for teens. May have to print it out for future reference when I’m talking to my daughter about this. 😉

By: J

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 20:13:05 +0000

In reply to justalittlemel. Yes, I did see that post! I originally saw it recommended by Julie Sibert of Intimacy in Marriage and Sheila Gregore of To Love, Honor and Vacuum. It is worth reading! Thanks.

By: justalittlemel

justalittlemel — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 18:33:07 +0000

Love the response, and I’m sure there are MANY more teenagers reading this than you intended. However, if they can get the positive aspects of sex and marriage, YAY!

I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but it was posted on facebook the other day, and I shared it with my friends of teenagers, and with my own 14 year old. It’s beautiful, and ties in with the ending of your post here.

http://gracefortheroad.com/2012/02/03/idontwait/

By: Megan@DoNotDisturb

Megan@DoNotDisturb — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 18:02:05 +0000

Great article. It is important to share what God really has to say about sex to a culture that is believing so many lies about sex. Thanks for always shining God's Word onto an important topic.

Megan