Comments on: Shame, Shapewear, and Sexiness

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 02 Dec 2012 22:43:31 +0000

In reply to Jess+the Mess. Late to the party, but even as a guy I can empathize with you. When I walk past a plate glass window or large mirror and see what my profile actually looks like, it saddens me. Unlike most wives, I have no problem being naked in front of my wife, but I know I would not be seen in a swimsuit without a t-shirt at this point in my life. The belly is bad enough, though not all that large, but the slight man-boobs are very disheartening. I feel with diet and excercise, I can eliminate or at least significantly reduce these issues. If those efforts didn't work though and I had the money I too would consider surgery. If a tummy-tuck is the only way you can be comfortable with and accepting of your figure, then go for it. If after a year of serious diet and excercise you are not seeing continuing improvement then a tummy-tuck seems a reasonable option. You have to come away from the procedure with reasonable expectations and then not sabotage the results. If you cannot sustain a serious, regular diet and excercise program for a year first, I wouldn't consider the procedure. There is no surgical procedure that will impart discipline where there is none. To undo all the good done by a procedure will only cause you more anguish and lower your self-esteem. You will be in a worse place than from where you started.

By: Adam's Eve

Adam's Eve — Thu, 04 Oct 2012 05:51:50 +0000

Amen, sista! And I call them my “extra pounds of happiness” and I know I’m bringing my husband “happiness” regardless of my size! He makes me feel so sexy regardless of the pounds I’ve put on since we were married. I’m proud of the woman I am because my husband sure is!

By: Jenny

Jenny — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 14:02:36 +0000

This is SO TRUE. I gained about 25 pounds from medication over the period of a couple of years. I never got to the actual overweight point, because I’m pretty tall, but my naturally large hips/posterior got significantly larger and even more jiggly, I developed somewhat of a stomach that had previously been flat, and my arms and legs got bigger….the only good part is that my boobs grew too! I have a lot of clothes that don’t fit, too. But my husband is the same as yours. He can’t take his eyes off of me when I’m naked. He squeezes my wobbly bits, pinches and pokes, he loves how soft I am. He has always liked the way my butt jiggles during sex in….certain positions. 🙂 At one point, several years ago, I was somewhat underweight, and he says that he never wants me to be skinny again. I have lost 9 pounds since my medication dosage was lowered in July, and I’d like to lose five more (I will still be….quite soft. haha), but even if I don’t I’m happy where I am, secure in the fact that my husband thinks I’m the sexiest, cutest, most beautiful woman ever because I’m his.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 16:08:40 +0000

And from the perspective of a husband whos wife lost 70,lbs and looks really good to me now, I will just say that I should have been more content the way it was. Both have advantages but one is more unsightly and unhealthy. I never pressured her any time to lose weight, but I did appreciate the effort also lost a bunch.
She’s a wonder woman and not vain or worldly and we’ve had many children which have been a great blessing to us. I absolutely love her body and enjoy looking at it and getting drunk on touching it but I will say with 70 lbs off boobs shriveled somewhat and i do miss them, but there are other things we can do better with 110 lbs gone between us. It was worth it but just not essential to being good lovers. It did not make her more sexy but made her feel better about herself which is important to women. Weight is not the issue and using some spanx is ok for going out, but in bed let me enjoy it all hands on please and relax and enjoy me back.

By: J

Mon, 17 Sep 2012 17:17:59 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. Yes, there are some husbands who object to changes in their wife's body. However, I have found them to be in the minority. Most husbands I hear from are more content with their wife's body than the wife is with it.

My heart goes out to you and what you've been through. There may be other issues involved besides just appearance. I've known some husbands who blamed their wives' appearance for losing interest in the relationship when there were other factors at play. Of course, I don't know your particular situation. But please know that you have my prayers.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 14:58:01 +0000

This post struck a chord with me…..and i can not disagree more. Maybe you could address this post towards women who have husbands that are very different than your husband??? Thats GREAT that your husband still desires your body. Unfortunately NOT all husbands are like that. I was pretty overweight, and my husband started looking elsewhere (not physically, just looking for eye candy) because he found my body to be a turn off. Yes, what he did was wrong, but just because he had a relationship with me, doesn’t mean that he still found my body to be exciting or sexy. I have worked VERY hard to lose the weight, started running, and am scheduled early next year to get a tummy tuck. Not for him, but for me…because i am worth it. When it came out about his fantasies, my self esteem took a tremendous blow, and sex and being sexy for him are still a major struggle in our lives.

By: Megan

Megan — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 02:16:41 +0000

I really love this. :)

Bundt cake make me laugh out loud!

PS - I found some shape wear at Dress Barn that was cheaper than spanx and is very comfy. I wear it under skirts and things for some added modesty and a little slimming. :)

By: CJ

CJ — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 22:01:44 +0000

In reply to Elizabeth Spence.

The Target brand is by the same gal who started Spanx – they are just more affordable for the masses. 🙂

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 02:31:55 +0000

Thank you much for putting this out there.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 20:30:14 +0000

My Husband enjoys my body, and at size 20+ I’m larger than most. (I was athletic and petite when we married, but gained weight after a serious illness.) I won’t be buying Spanx, but will continue eating healthy foods, jogging and walking so that I can enjoy many more years with him. I admit that I have a hard time sympathizing with people who are a size six 🙂 Maybe it’s harder to have a good body image when it seems like you’re so close to perfect. When you’re fluffy all over, there’s not that one spot to hone in on. I say we should all be thankful for our differences. It’s really what’s inside that counts.