Thanks for your comment, Conflicted! Given your own words, I’d say wait. You need to be comfortable and confident about the idea. There are plenty of other ways to treat your husband! I bet you can think of several. Blessings!

Brian, thanks for some great information!

I am close friends with an artist, and I have talked to the artist as well about how quickly the pursuit of getting the picture right takes over the fact that someone is nude in front of you. I know that my artist friend gets so mentally deep into drawing the breasts or the curve of a hip correctly, not really thinking “hey, that hip is bare!” I would assume it’s the same for many photographers.

I also assume that you approach your wife’s body in a very different way.

TO READERS: A caveat that there are some revealing photos on Brian’s site. There are also some very mild but sexy pics as well. Just wanted you to know ahead of time.

A boudoir session sees them discovering what it is to be a beautiful woman again and they love it. They discover that they can be sexy with the body they have and actually love who they are.
Many of them have commented that the album they bought was just a bonus. The real gift to themselves was the experience of the photo session.
Even the husbands have written thanking me for the confidence it has given their wife to love the body she has and be confident with her sensuality.

I can understand women thinking they should go to a female photographer, but I do believe as a male I am seeing her quite differently to the way a woman does. I know how to shoot in a way that is appealing to her husband! (and so that she will absolutely love it too!) Of course I would encourage you to be cautious and check out your photographer thoroughly (male or female), read reviews, speak to others who have been there etc.

We have clients ranging from 20’s to 50’s. Many doing it as a surprise wedding gift for their husband to be, other for a significant anniversary be that the first (paper) or milestone 25th wedding anniversary!
There are also single women who are just doing it for themselves to give them a wonderful boost when they may have doubted themselves.

As far as privacy of images etc. Professional photographers whether they own copyright or not should respect a clients wishes on whether the images are allowed to be used for display or kept totally private.
About half of our clients keep them private and we certainly respect that. Others may allow us partial use so that we can only show images that don’t reveal their identity. Of course I am thankful that some do allow us to show them or we wouldn’t have any display shots on our website!

Feel free to take a look at our website http://www.boudoirphotographer.com.au

It is great that people are having this discussion.

regards
Brian

I didn’t feel guilty about it at all. We were married, and I felt that as his wife, it was keeping the focus on me and him, and not letting him be tempted by other pictures.

Also, the photographers will not encourage you to take any pictures that you are uncomfortable with! Ive seen some where people are wearing a football jersey and little shorts, and then there are of course more revealing ones. Either way, this is for you and your husband, and it was great for us!

Also, I am glad I had them when I did because I look at them now and realize I had one awesome spray tan and was a few pounds lighter! 🙂 It’s nice to have pictures were I looked good and my husband was happy!

Despite us having nude photos and a sex video, my husband and I actually agree with you. We’ve had fun with the various things, but as a rule he doesn’t look at the pictures of me very often at all, and we only watched the video once, right after we made it. The thing we got from the video is that it was so obvious that we loved one another, that there was a deep love, when we were making love – it wasn’t just sex. You could see it on our faces and the way we touched each other. Which is something I’m guessing you don’t see in porn – but even so, we only watched the video once, because we actually talked about it beforehand, how we didn’t want porn to become an issue. It was something fun to do, just to say we did it, and it was interesting to see what we looked like! He knew what I looked like, and I knew what he looked like, but we didn’t know what we ourselves looked like. haha. The pictures he liked to look at when we couldn’t be together, when he was in the military, just because it….hm, I don’t know exactly how to say it. He missed me, and the pictures kind of comforted him, I guess. It wasn’t strictly “erotica” – it was more something that made him feel close to me even when we were far away and maybe couldn’t talk on the phone. So I think that, yes, it can be a bad thing for a marriage if you approach it in the wrong way, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Encouraging your husband to look at you like an object or like his own private porn when he is away (or not away) is tempting him to need or want the unnatural visual stimuli to be aroused, which is already a huge problem for men these days. Is masturbation okay in your marriage? Is it okay for him to masturbate to these pictures because they are of you?

This crosses way too many lines for me. What are you going to do when your teenager accidentally finds these? You’re seriously going to let another person take suggestive pictures of you?

I don’t have a problem seeing this as evil. It begins blurring lines about pornography and artificial stimulus as well as the damage it can do to the woman feeling like she can’t measure up in real life to those pictures she had done when it comes to weight, interest in sex in the moment, make-up, hair, lighting, as it seems in the pictures. It’s just not a natural part of your relationship.

I know people disagree with me and that’s okay. I tend to be old fashioned for someone in their twenties. My mom taught me to never write anything I don’t want shared with the whole world. I feel the same way about all media. We all know nightmare stories where tapes have been leaked. I would tell any of my friends, just don’t go there.

One observation that I have, because of the topic that I was originally drawn to your blog for, is that your advice here and the advice you have given in the last month or so about au naturale beaches seems to be inconsistent. In this case you provide reasoned encouragement, even to very unclothed poses — “I don’t think it’s wrong because let’s face it–the bikini waxer and the spray tan gal at the spa see as much or more”, but on the nudist beach issue the tone took a far different course. Just an encouragement to rethink the beach scene ideas.

Having said that, do your homework. If the photographer isn’t securing the work so that it remains private or is using it against the wishes of the model, that sort of thing gets out. Make sure your photog isn’t that guy or girl. I know a number of photographers who do this who don’t even ask for a model release because these are not photos that will be shared. Ever. (this is how I work) It is easy for photographers to get professional models to do sessions for them in order to set up a portfolio for boudoir work, no need to use your clients.