Comments on: The Premarital Sex Felt Great

By: Stephanie Samuel

Stephanie Samuel — Sun, 27 Jan 2013 03:49:42 +0000

Thanks for your Post J! You're right. I foolishly thought I missing out in college but now I know that sex in a Godly marriage is the only sex worth talking about. I plan to share that message to my children when the time comes.

Stephanie
Happyafterthewedding.blogspot.com

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 14:33:16 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. Thank you J ... that helps

By: J

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 23:07:52 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. I am not going to preach to you. You clearly know that the better things are seeking the will of God, no matter how difficult that may be. But YEAH, YOUR SITUATION IS DIFFICULT. It pains me greatly to know that there are marriages where one spouse has denied the other not the "right to have sex," but the intimate experience of joining as one flesh in marriage. That is what God has in mind!

(Plus, now I'm wondering if I should have said Big Wheel tricycle instead of Smart Car. But that's just how my brain works.)

My heart is saddened for you, and I pray that you can find the strength to continue giving selflessly to the relationship and that your spouse will come to realize how important the physical intimacy is to your marriage.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 16:14:54 +0000

While what you wrote is absolutely true, its a tough argument to make to someone on a sexless marriage. In your Smart Car vs Lamborghini analogy, I have a Lamborghini in my driveway that I am allowed to drive to the end of the block and back once a month, and that is it. Period. Meanwhile I watch all the Smart Cars driving by, and so the notion of being able to drive a smart car anywhere I want, every day, or even every other day, is very attractive, and the once-a-month Lamborghini starts to look less and less attractive.

(insert here an argument that its better to deny onesself on earth and gain entry to heaven than it is to enjoy onesself on earth and suffer the fires of hell) I guess some of us have missed our chance to enjoy either sinful or holy sex. I try to acknowledge this and not be bitter, but its hard.

By: Mary

Mary — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 02:18:16 +0000

haha love the list comparison! And I especially love love love this post!!

By: Dillon Schupp

Dillon Schupp — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 20:56:18 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. If I can just be brutally honest bro, the reason your marriage sucks and your sex life sucks is because you are spending more time on here bashing your wife and her low sex drive than you are pursuing her and loving her as Christ loves the church!! Marriage is not about you man!! Marriage is NOT about YOUR happiness, it's about Jesus making you more holy!! And I would have to say that probably one of the reasons your sex life sucks is because for you, sex is a HUGE IDOL that you had these incredible misconceptions about, and every time someone sets up an idol in Scripture, it ALWAYS falls!!!! Maybe if you will STOP focusing on what YOU want and start SERVING HER NEEDS then maybe she will feel more inclined to serve yours!! But when you go around acting like you are entitled to her body just because you are married, then your perspective is WAY OFF BASE!!! You need to start loving her and serving her and get over the fact that you are not getting as many orgasms as you want!!!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 10:53:38 +0000

I’ll be honest J.
On my wedding night my husband and I were each others firsts. We had a great sex life and all but after year four something happened…I started to slip away emotionally. Like I said I’ll be honest. I had an emotional affair but came clean because honestly I didn’t realize how far I was gone till it was too late. We tried to fix it by almost just pushing it under the rug and rushed right back into things. With that being said I committed adultery physically. Looking back on it (and yes my husband and I have talked about EVERYTHING) my husband says I got jipped. We both agree that I went through taking my marriage through mud, risking everything I have and have worked for…for what? For something that wasn’t near as good as what was in my marriage! He and I have and are still mending but I have to say we are stronger than before. We don’t just have a “hedge” of protection but something more like a steal fence with barbed wire on top, some kinda killer force field to stun anyone trying to get in our out and most of all a mirror on top so if one of us tries to escape it lets us see what we are risking. I regret what I did but I now realize that sex isn’t just for him, it’s for me too…it helps me connect to him and lets him show me how much he loves me. People don’t get that, heck I didn’t get that from any relationship before or during marriage, that connection that only marriage brings, and how much more fun, relaxing, satisfying, enjoyable it makes sex.

By: Greg

Greg — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 21:50:08 +0000

A very thought-provoking post! Recently, my Garfield “Well, DUH!” moment was realizing that (although we sometimes do) we cannot blame God for sin in ANY form that occurred before, or during, marriage. It seems clear to me that broken marriages are a result of sin, and while God is not responsible or accountable for our sin, He is willing and able to (as others have shared) bring healing and restoration IF both husband and wife are willing to be obedient and responsible enough to follow Him and selflessly love each other. Obviously, even non-Christians reap the benefits of faithfulness to one another within marriage–especially if sexual sin (past or present) has never been part of the picture.

By: Greg

Greg — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 21:48:55 +0000

In reply to Paul Byerly. As one of the 40+-year-old virgins that Hollywood laughs at, no; going without sex is not at all easy or fun, but it *is* possible. Telling people to go without sex until marriage isn't our problem--it's theirs. We don't own the results of speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:14-15)--God does. The bottom line is whether or not WE are going to obey and honor God, and in this regard, sacrifice is clearly part of obedience. Frankly, my virginity still being intact is because of God's grace, and not my own shyness or the public commitment I made at Petra's "Why Wait?" tour with Josh McDowell back in '89. I want to honor God, and in the end, I trust He will see to it that I do.

IMO, one of the most compelling truths in all of this is 1 Corinthians 6:18: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."

Exactly what the consequences of sinning sexually are, Scripture doesn't delineate, but it's easy to believe God when all you have to do is take a good look at the mess around you. Like Jamie Hyneman would say: "You heard him--don't do it!"

By: Peter Daniel James

Peter Daniel James — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 17:10:57 +0000

The Christian message can also be discounted when sex in marriage is not as good as we say it is. God’s design for sex is not only that it is for marriage but that it is only a foreshadow of the pleasures of heaven. The true fulfillment of our sexual desires is not marriage it’s heaven. That’s what I try to show in my blog.