Wrath of the Rotund
by Guy Somerset
http://takimag.com/article/wrath_of_the_rotund_guy_somerset#axzz2LGfwPnv2

Pearl, I gotta say, this “upstanding mature man” has some undealt with sexual brokenness. Bouncing eyes doesn’t mean not making eye contact. It does mean not checking out your figure. As someone who finds women who put themselves together well very attractive, even if they are modest, I can still make eye contact. And actually make of point of eye to eye contact, so I’m not oggling. So Pearl, you be at peace with yourself.

Pearl, thanks for your kind comments! I pray that this man would, in some way, understand that his refusal to make eye contact with you truly hurts.

Thanks Tabitha!

Wow, you really picked this apart. I took far more general messages from what Greg was saying here.

As for the bouncing eyes comment, I took it as a suggestion for men to learn how to change their heart and attitudes toward women to see them as people rather than sex objects to ogle or avoid. I totally agree, however, that if a woman catches my husband’s eye inappropriately, sure, I want him to look away.

I just think I read this differently, like wanting to be considered beautiful and not JUST hot…though I do want to be hot to my hubby. So I find myself agreeing with both of you in a way, simply because I see both of your points.

Thanks for commenting.

Anonymous,

I do have the tendency to ramble/repeat myself–my apologies. That’s one more reason why I appreciate J’s writing (and other marriage bloggers) all the more!

My contention with the word “hot” in reference to women (other than one’s spouse) lies in the fact that it’s usually seeing and treating them as an object, not as a whole person. Like you shared, God created us with multiple facets. In the case of a husband and wife, where the relationship is known, use liberally of each other! 🙂

I can’t speak for the beautiful woman who was offended, but I do know I don’t want to either ogle or ignore the beauty God blessed women with. Each man is accountable to the Lord for their motives and actions.

Some explanation as to where this post came from may be in order–like J noted, it’s a sub-set of an article entitled “Respecting Women” originally intended for men:

http://www.gregdonner.org/thoughts/thoughts5.html

Thanks for your comments and feedback–some things for me to think about!

1) We mustn’t put value solely on the physical BECAUSE beauty is subjective and in the eye of the beholder? That’s a terrible message and beside-the-point cliches. No, it should be because God didn’t create us to be solely physical beings. We value more than one facet of humans because He created us with more than one facet.

2) The quote from the beautiful woman with beautiful friends who is so offended by Christian men “bouncing their eyes”? Has she given thought to why they may be bouncing their eyes? Does she and her friends dress modestly and God-honouringly? Does she and her friends conduct themselves with purity or–even if skin is covered–do they use their smooth tongue and flirty eyes like the Proverbs 6 woman?

Besides that, even in a case of a chaste and godly woman who happens to be physically beautiful, if my husband finds looking at her to be challenging to him in keeping his mind pure, I freaking want him to be bouncing his eyes! He is not a slave to a program, he is a slave to Christ. And if he needs to not look at some woman to be obedient to Him, he should not be scoffed at! I was astounded that “bouncing the eyes” would have been put in a REMOTELY negative light when far too few men do it to begin with.

3) The first quote under the “compliment” section is the lamest tripe that I only hear single teen girls throw around. “Wait for the one who thinks you’re beautiful, not hot”? No thanks, I want my husband to think both of me. And I believe that’s biblical.

4) Regarding women–and even little girls: “They need to be reassured and reminded that they are beautiful—not “hot”—and that beauty does not mean perfection.” Again, is this directed to single men?? I find it interesting he said what beauty is not…so what IS it? Does he know? If I ever have daughters, I would hope to teach them HOW to be beautiful (1 Peter 3, for example)…not that they already are. That seems to be just changing the semantics without changing the sentiment. If we’re going for communicating value on more than just the physical, then their beauty would depend on how their hearts are towards God and others. And if this is written to more than just single men, no. I would like to be reminded from my husband that he thinks I’m hot (as well as beautiful). What was the point of quoting Song of Solomon at the beginning of this post? I’d say that man found his wife incredibly hot…and told her!