Daily Archives: February 14, 2013

Valentine’s Day for the Rest of Us

Arrow & heart illustration

Two weeks ago, I posted ideas for what to get your hubby for Valentine’s Day, and last week, I tried to help out the hubbies with How to Shop for Lingerie. I have noticed that quite a bit is made of this holiday by married couples and marriage bloggers.

All that said, my husband and I don’t celebrate it much. We might give each other a card or a piece of candy, but that’s about it. My husband is not particularly romantic, and I don’t get particularly excited about holidays.

So what about this day of love and romance for those of us who aren’t quite as moved by it all? Here are some ideas.

Choose a different day to celebrate. If Valentine’s Day strikes you as a contrived holiday conspiracy involving florists, candy makers, and Hallmark, then choose a different day to celebrate your special love with your mate. No one said you must celebrate on February 14 or else! The important thing is to honor your relationship with a little extra oomph.

We did this with my anniversary. My anniversary falls on one of those dates that ended up colliding with other family events and got lost in the shuffle. A few years back, my husband and I started celebrating on a different date that has personal meaning to us. Who cares that it isn’t the official day? It is special to us, and we express our wedding bliss on our chosen date.

Celebrate a different holiday altogether. Paul Byerly of Generous Husband made me aware of the alternative celebration, concocted by men of course, of Steak & BJ Day (March 14, if you’re marking your calendar). But there are plenty of other holidays that are perfectly good times to bring out the romantic or sexy in your marriage. Here are a few suggestions:

January 21 – National Hugging Day. It’s for hugging whomever, but embracing your spouse is particularly nice.

March 16 – Lips Appreciation Day. What would be better on this holiday than to appreciate your mate’s lips and let him appreciate yours?

May 4 – Star Wars Day. I kept this small photo from a Twitter follower of Hot, Holy & Humorous because I absolutely love it! It just says love to me: Your hobby is my hobby. May the 4th be with you!

Yes, I want these.

June 22 – Wife Appreciation Day. Get your hubby to circle this day on the calendar and plan out how he can make you feel especially loved. (If he asks when Husband Appreciation Day is, tell him it was yesterday. Didn’t he notice all the nice stuff you did for him?)

July 14 – National Nude Day. I suggest staying home for this one, but make the most of it!

September 19 – International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Aaarrrghh! Grab your randy cap’n and make lust (that’s Piratese for “make love”).

Dare to be yourselves different. If all the hoopla of chocolate, cards, flowers, sexy lingerie, etc. just isn’t your thing . . . do something different. You and your spouse get to define what is romantic and enjoyable to you. While everyone else is at a restaurant cooing over candlelight, pack a picnic and go on a hike; cue up the DVD player for an Indiana Jones marathon; play a board game with your spouse; have a quickie in the closet. Whatever floats your boat. It’s your celebration, your day to celebrate the joy of having your mate in your life.

Make it fun for the kids. If you are parents, you can make Valentine’s Day a family day. Help your children prepare the valentines that they will give their friends and schoolmates. Bake heart-shaped cookies together, and then distribute and/or eat them. Buy some treats or put together gift baskets to give to the older members of your church or to your neighbors and hand them out together. Tell your kids the story of St. Valentine, a priest who continued to wed couples after the emperor passed a law forbidding marriage ceremonies; it is in his honor that this holiday celebrating romantic love emerged.

Ignore it. At your own peril, of course. My caveat: My husband and I largely ignoring Valentine’s Day is a mutual decision.

If you are married to someone who cares greatly about Valentine’s Day, and you don’t think you should celebrate . . . get over yourself. Stop reading this post and go shopping. Right. Now. If it’s important to your spouse today to receive a reminder of your love, why wouldn’t you do that? It’s a small investment with big returns, and more importantly it’s the principle of the “Golden Rule”: Treat your spouse the way you would want to be treated (see Matthew 7:12).

If you celebrators still need ideas, check out my post on what to get your husband for V-Day, or one of these great posts:

Man Up Monday: Make a Valentine’s Plan from Journey to Surrender

Wives Only Wednesday: Turn This Valentine’s Day Around from Journey to Surrender

Love Coupons (printable) from The Marriage Bed

Giving Gifts that Matter from Do Not Disturb

Valentine’s Day – Do One Thing from Calm Healthy Sexy

A Valentine’s Day He’ll Love from To Love, Honor & Vacuum

Now share how you non-celebrators find a way to express your appreciation for your spouse. What are your alternatives to the standard Valentine’s Day?

Sources: Holidays Calendar; Days of the Year