It is only when technology gets used as a longer term, even permanent substitute for intimate physical and emotional contact that they are likely to create problems. Nevertheless spare charitables thought for the lonely, the indefinitely single and the widowed person.

Some of your reasons don’t make sense to me. They’re about sexual pleasure more than sexual intimacy. Thanks for commenting!

## Enhanced sexual performance.
## Decreased effort and cramping.
## Timing isn’t an issue with vibrators.
## Good health.
## No partner, no problem!
## Long distance partner.

First off, congratulations, newlywed! 🙂 Some wives have no issues with birth control pills, but plenty have discovered what you did–that it messes with their sex drive. Good for you for figuring that out…and for having a hubby so interested in giving you a satisfying sexual experience.

And now on to orgasm without a vibrator. I have a few thoughts. One is that you can sort of train your brain and body to be aroused by certain things, and you may need to retrain yourself to go without the vibrator. Your husband won’t be able to produce that same sensation for you. But that’s okay, because…two, there’s a lot he can do to get you hummin’. Most wives need direct stimulation of the clitoris, usually moving from slow and soft to faster and harder, to achieve orgasm. While this can be achieved through intercourse, it’s easier for your husband to do so with his mouth or hand (read: tongue or fingers). You’ll also need to be fairly lubricated for this to feel good, which you can likely reach through kissing and touching or through use of a personal lubricant. And three, here’s a post I did on how to get to climax: If Only I Could O. There are some tips there for what you, wifey, can do. (By the way, some wives report being able to achieve orgasm a second time through intercourse if they first climax through manual or oral stimulation. It’s not true for every woman, but I thought it worth mentioning.)

Hope that helps!

Thanks for responding, Shauna! I can verify that these people said such things, but not the studies from which they cite. For instance, an MSNBC interview with Dr. Pinsky has him giving that very statistic, but he doesn’t cite a source and I can’t find it on his website. I’m just asking HOW we get these statistics. Because sadly, some statistics are passed around and around and turn out to be untrue. I recently discovered one that I’d thought was true (that women talk a certain number of words per day, and men talk a lot less), and it’s not true; it was a presumed statistic passed around by well-meaning people without confirmation of the original source. I’m not saying that these reputable people are lying; by no means! I just wonder where they get these numbers from.

J – my stats come from various varifiable sources. One is Dr. Drew Pinsky, whom I have had the pleasure of personally hearing speak. The other is Dr. Phile (drphil.com) states 50-75% of women require clitoral stimulation. Another sourse is Passion Parties Guide to Great Sex by Pat Davis, and last but not least, today.com (Nov 2007) states only approx 20% of women can reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation. I try very hard to research all stats before sharing them…

I agree with your general premise there. However, the creator of Karezza, Alice Stockham, advocated limiting or entirely avoiding ejaculation and orgasm to prolong the pleasure and caresses that proceed it.

God’s gift of sex focused on closeness, procreation, and pleasurable satisfaction. He formed our bodies to desire that sexual release. I understand the idea of prolonging the pleasure before orgasm, but avoiding orgasm goes against how he made our bodies and created marital intimacy.