I am feeling what you went through right now.If i could support myself i could have left.As i was reading your comment i was like “Oh my God this is me right now”Its not easy but i know i will pull through.The Lord has been with me through worse and i know He will see me through this one again.

I don’t think my site is as searchable as it should be. I’m working on that and hope to update to a better system soon! Thanks.

Ah, so you have! And right on as always. It appears I haven’t been through the archives as thoroughly as I imagine. Thanks for your thoughts!

P.S. Thanks so much for the compliment! Blessings.

Ha! How did you know I’m actually wearing that shirt today? 🙂

I’ve written about sex and periods. You can find the post here: Sexual Intimacy & Your Period: Tips for Wives. As to cunnilingus during a period… :S

By the way, there is a huge variety in how wives feel about being intimate during the period. Indeed, for some women, their period is a mild disturbance with moderate flow; and for others, it’s a very painful time with heavy flow, during which they simply couldn’t imagine engaging in sex. There are ways to continue physical intimacy during this time, but I believe this is something couples need to talk about and work out for themselves.

Hi, Charity. I hear the pain in your story. Please know that you are not alone. Unfortunately, wives with higher drives than their husbands often feel like they are weird and no one understands them, but this scenario occurs in perhaps 20-25% of marriages (we’re not sure exactly, of course). And you are perfectly healthy and normal to desire sex with your husband.

I’m a reality girl, so here’s the scoop as I see it: First, you can’t make your spouse change, so ultimately when a spouse changes, it’s their decision, not yours. Second, you can encourage an atmosphere for change by letting him know that you want to talk about it, that you’re there for him no matter what the reason is, and that you consider sexuality a shared issue (his problem is your problem, and vice versa). There are a number of reasons why your husband could have lost interest, only one of them being low T, but a medical exam is a good place to start. If he is continually rejecting you as you describe, you may also want to see a counselor. If he will not go with you, consider going alone. Some churches provide on-site counseling or will refer you to reasonably-priced Christian-based therapy.

Given the scenario you describe, my sense is that something has really shifted for him, and that finding out what that is would go a long way toward knowing how to resolve it. But as I said, ultimately he has make that decision. I am saying a prayer for you both.

Let me first say love your blog and your writing style; you have a great perspective and you really do deal with these issues in a holy and humorous way that’s truly refreshing.

I don’t see any way to send comments directly to you, so I figured I’d post this here. Any chance you could tackle a post on sex during her period? It seems to me there’s a lot of misinformation out there that could use some clearing up. I’m personally of the opinion that husbands could do a lot towards building up their wives’ self-image if they didn’t treat this completely normal monthly occurrence as something gross or untouchable, but I’d be curious as to your perspective.

And if you really want to earn that “Oh no she didn’t!” shirt, you could even tackle cunnilingus during her period! Hah!