Well said Paul. Darrell and I are often ridiculed for wanting to spend lots of time together – and how we spend that time. I have just started to notice that when people see a husband and wife moving in tandem, it seems to be suspect – of what I don’t know.

I had someone once actually rebuke me for serving him! He and another husband had been working outside. I offered to make something for them to eat – and the other wife said, “He knows where the fridge is, he can make it himself (referring to her own husband).” The other husband refused; but Darrell accepted. So I made it. Later that day, alone with her, I was confronted with, “Why did you do that? You made me look like a bad wife.”

I think that the terms ‘co’ and ‘inter’ ‘dependent’ mean different things to different couples. This wife believed that Darrell is too dependent (co-dependent) on me. Yet we would define our marriage as interdependent.

Lori and I have been accused of being “too close”. We are able to be apart, but we choose to be together as much as possible. I think we could be happy long-term just the two of us alone on an island – something that is not true for most couples. I (no longer) assume that all couples should be as we are, but neither should we be as others are.

The trick if finding what works for you, the right balance for your marriage.

Exactly! You just said it better than I did. 🙂

I love what you said, “Yes, you leave and cleave. But you don’t smother.”

Great post!

In other words you aren’t dependent if you are choosing your spouse out of choice and desire…

It would not be impossible to live otherwise, but our very remote location (one in which we chose to live exactly like this) helps foster this. So while I think you meant well…you can keep your ball games, girls nights out, etc. We wouldn’t change it for the world.

It was hard, but we managed, and I think we grew a little more healthy independence from it.