I recently posted the following status update to my “J” page on Facebook:
Yep, “Spock” has been putting in extra hours on a major project, and I haven’t seen him as much as I’d like. He’s also been coming home with extra stress and less time to wind down. The hubster gets a few hours at home, and then he must gear up and head back into the world of project-evolving and problem-solving.
So what does this have to do with sex?
Well, I’ve been conducting an interesting, if not really scientific, experiment. I’ve tested out three approaches to dealing with my husband’s work stress:
1. I went to bed with him, and we both fell asleep. (After all, he hasn’t been getting enough sleep, and he’s extra-tired.)
2. I initiated lovemaking at night, after he’d been through his long day. (Then the sleep part.)
3. I initiated lovemaking in the morning, before he went out into the world to slay dragons make a living to provide for our family.
The results were that he was in a much better mood at the end of Day #3.
I honestly thought that making love after the long day would be a good way to connect and relieve the stress. That would probably be true for me.
However, it seemed that starting out the day by letting my hubby know that he is not only my friend, our provider, and a wonderful father but my hunka-hunka-burning-love gave him that extra oomph he needed to make it through the hours and hours of his intense project.
I do wish that I could interview a bunch of husbands and ask them which of the three options they would prefer . . . and more importantly, why.
My theory is that (most) husbands feel more potent in just about every area of life when they feel sexually potent with their wives. I have heard reports from men who say that connecting emotionally and physically with their wives, and in particular bringing their wives to orgasm, makes them feel like they can take on the world!
If true, that gives the wife an incredible amount of influence and opportunity. Honestly, it’s tough when your mate comes home with nerves all kinked up like a plate of curly fries. He (or it certainly could be she) may not feel like coming home and cheerfully helping with household tasks or having a long, leisurely conversation or engaging in some recreational activity. He’s simply worn out.
But making time to make love can be a loving boost for your sweetheart’s day. It can start out his day with positive vibes and a sense of readiness to take on the challenges out in the world. It can remind him why he’s continuing to work hard and long — for the love of a good woman and the provision of his family. It can help him stay focused to push through, knowing that when he’s finished he gets to come back home to your welcoming arms. It can act like a tether to his loving wife throughout the day as he remembers your time together, how beautiful you are, and how lucky he feels.
So today I’m encouraging wives to make an extra effort. If your husband is going through a tough time at work, see if having sexual intimacy can help with some of that stress.
Also look for other ways to be generous. Generous Wife is a great blog to follow for daily ideas on how to bless your husband.
(Just a quick note: Of course it could just as easily be the wife going through the stressful days, but this particular post addresses the husband’s work stress and how the wife can help.)