Daily Archives: September 12, 2013

Using Your Body in Marital Intimacy: What to Do with Your Mouth

Welcome to week three of my series on Using Your Body in Marital Intimacy. So far, I’ve looked at the importance of getting your mind on board and what to do with your hands.

lipstick print

Photo Credit: Microsoft Word Clip Art

Today, let’s talk about your mouth. Once again, I started with the Bible and looked up all the passages I could find that included the words mouthlips, tongue, and kiss. (Yes, I have a very interesting search history.) Then I did some other research, some of its hands-on (because that’s just how dedicated I am to helping you). Following are tips for how to use your mouth in marital lovemaking.

Speak lovingly. We might as well start here, since the vast majority of the passages with mouthlips, or tongue relate to what we say. The Bible emphasizes again and again the importance of measuring our words and using them responsibly. Now I can’t be the only one who learned this verse while watching VeggieTales’s Larry Boy and the Rumor Weed: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Thanks, Larry Boy!) And that’s a great summary scripture: Words matter.

The lovers in Song of Songs totally got this. Just read a few chapters and see how the spouses speak of and to each other to get examples. The words you speak during lovemaking can tear down or make your husband feel desired, loved, and adept as a lover. Consider how your mouth can be used to speak words that build up your hubby and your marital intimacy. Then speak ’em!

Pucker up. The first full sentence in the Song of Songs is: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth — for your love is more delightful than wine.” That’s a perfect way to start your sexual encounter, using that mouth for some delicious kissing.

Of course, you can join lips to lips, mouth to mouth, and tongue to tongue, but you can kiss just about anywhere on his body. Now of course, I am not planning to ever kiss my husband’s armpit, but I’d say that 98% of your man’s body would love to feel the touch of your lips. And some places may respond particularly well to the soft, wet touch of a kiss. Try a few of these:

  • His eyelids. Yep, eyelids. They’re surprisingly sensitive, and kissing his eyelids means he must close his eyes which can heighten the sense of touch.
  • His ears. Kiss those lobes, up the curve of his ear, and behind his ear. Some guys go a little crazy with such kisses.
  • His neck and collarbone. Nuzzle right in there under his chin and get busy. Move your lips up, down, and all around . . . and work your way down to his collarbone, which is also sensitive for most men.
  • His nipples. You’re not the only one with sensitive nipples. Maybe his aren’t quite so much, but they might still enjoy your mouth hanging out there a bit.
  • His stomach. Tease your kisses all over his tummy, giving some extra attention around his navel.
  • His thighs. Maybe it’s the proximity to where he’d really like your mouth to be, but your hubby’s thighs are likely an erogenous zone. Especially the inner thigh. Move your mouth around in gentle kisses and see if he likes it. (If I were a betting woman, I’d put down a fiver that he will.)
  • His butt. Yes, ladies, I’m talking butt. It’s the flipside of his Happytown, and it wouldn’t mind your mouth going up and down its hills.
  • His penis. Indeed, the mayor of Happyville would love a visit from your lips. Shaft, head, frenulum — wherever you’re willing to lay your lips. Also, his testicles are sensitive to your touch, whether by hands or mouth. But be extra gentle there!
  • His hands. You didn’t expect me to go from the penis to something so seemingly ho-hum as his hands. But our hands are very sensitive, and you can turn him on by kissing his hands, especially the inside of his palm.

For more about kissing, check out my posts on that fabulous activity: In Celebration of the KissThe Punctuation of a Kiss, and A Little Instruction for the Kiss.

Lick it up. So sue me for quoting KISS (not the pucker-up, the rock band). But honestly, your tongue is a lovely tool for arousal. You can lick any of the places mentioned above.

Be gentle with your tongue in most of these spots. You can use the tip of your tongue to tease and titillate. Think how you might lick an envelope. To give a more intense experience, flatten out your tongue and go at your husband like he’s a dripping ice cream scoop. Go slow to draw out the sensation. Of course, you can also flick your tongue, moving the tip up-and-down or side-to-side.

Nibble. One of the Google definitions for nibble is to “gently bite at (a part of the body), esp. amorously or nervously.” Let’s go with amorously.

I didn’t look up teeth in the Bible, but they’re in your mouth and they’re awfully handy for a providing a stronger touch and a little tug on your husband’s flesh. How hard you bite is up to him. Pay attention to his reaction. Some husbands would welcome a little chomp-down on the shoulder or a strong tug on the earlobe. Other hubbies are more sensitive and would rather you focus on the word gently in that definition of nibble.

But wait, don’t bite his manly stuff down there! You do want them to survive another day, right?

Suck, the good way. When my husband annoys me and I want to jokingly let him know, my typical statement is “You suck . . . and not in the good way.” Which gets both of us laughing (and perhaps a little turned-on) and defuses any tension that might have been there. But I’m hitting at something true — sucking is a nice piece of your mouth’s lovemaking repertoire.

Now don’t go all “vacuum” on him; you’re not Hoover. But put your mouth on him and pull your mouth together in a nice, long, gentle suck. Most of those places — now listed way up there — are fair game, but a few other spots are suck-worthy. When you kiss together, you can suck on his lips a little. You can also take each of his fingers and pull them into your mouth for a little sucking. And for a big reaction, suck on his top part of his penis, paying special attention with your tongue to the stretch of flesh that connects the shaft with the head on the lower side (the frenulum).

Once your mouth has given pleasure to your husband, let’s hope his response is like that of the lover in Song of Songs:

Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
milk and honey are under your tongue. – 4:11

Use these tips to do something you haven’t done yet or to revisit something you haven’t done in a while. Just think about the wonder of God’s gift of your mouth in providing pleasure to your spouse. There are so many ways you can use it.

What other ideas do you have? How is the mouth is a tool for arousal in your marital lovemaking?

Other romantic verses about the mouth: Song of Songs 4:3, 5:13, 5:16, 7:9, 8:11.