Comments on: What Should a Groom Know about His Wedding Night?

By: J

Tue, 28 Jan 2014 14:53:04 +0000

In reply to T.C.. Thanks, T.C.! Glad to help. I do recommend dating and engaged couples check out Preengaged.com. I've blogged about sex for them before, and they do an excellent job helping couples prepare for marriage and remain pure until their wedding night. Many blessings!

By: T.C.

T.C. — Tue, 28 Jan 2014 05:27:46 +0000

This is so excellent! I am incredibly thankful to see this information to know about the wedding night, especially for someone who plans to be a virgin until that night were to come! That first night may not come for a while, but it’s still good to prepare for that wedding at this stage in my opinion. This is so cool, J! This needs to go into the playbook for sure! Actually, this should be the “playbook”. This is so descriptive. Thank you!

I thank you & everyone who is giving advice to this, especially for guys! The willingness & wise counsel here in the comments & article helps take a lot of pressure off! If there are any more articles you know about like this, do you think you could possibly tell me? Thanks once again! Excellent!

By: Entering Marriage with Sexual Baggage | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Entering Marriage with Sexual Baggage | Hot, Holy & Humorous — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 19:15:27 +0000

[…] last post on What Should a Groom Know about His Wedding Night? received a very interesting comment. Here’s part of […]

By: Jim

Jim — Sat, 25 Jan 2014 19:27:27 +0000

I’m probably not the intended audience anyway, but I think the title needs to be changed. It should be, “What Should a Christian Virgin Groom Know about His Wedding Night?” For many, this experience has already taken place with the one they are going to marry. And, for many this experience has taken place with someone they are not going to marry. Sure, advice is still advice. But I think the motivation behind the article is that of an experience that has been built with anticipation. And that anticipation built by 2 Christian people, who are emotionally and spiritually and physically healthy (more emphasis on the emotionally and spiritually because any 2 physically healthy people can have sex). In fact, I think this is the premise of this entire website/blog. I was so sexually, spiritually, and emotionally broken on my wedding night (still am in many ways) that reading through this just seems like fantasy. Sure, I can watch the film. But those moments are gone. So, I wouldn’t be able to give any tips.

By: Brandon

Brandon — Fri, 24 Jan 2014 18:37:53 +0000

My wife and I were both virgins on our honeymoon. Great article, by the way. My advice is this. 1) discuss beforehand what your expectations are so that you don’t have one person expecting oral sex and the other person expecting intercourse and that’s it. 2) use lube. all the lube you can. 3) Be prepared for it not being pleasant. I’ve been married 3 years and, honestly, i’m still a little traumatized over seeing how much it hurt my wife the first time we had sex, until the hymen broke at least. So just no, this isn’t going to be a great night. But it will open the door for many wonderful nights to come. And, I would get to know how to do manual stimulation on your wife rather than just fumbling around and getting frustrated like I did.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 24 Jan 2014 17:23:55 +0000

Jon – I like most of your comment but please be careful not to isolate those who do not fit into the box you’ve painted – I came on my wedding night from vaginal sex (we were both virgins) and we had no need for lube, although we definitely brought some along.

I hope that everyone can remember – you are unique and so is your spouse and your marriage bed – it’s not wrong if it’s different than everyone else’s, just uniquely yours!

Much love to all.

By: Jon

Jon — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 21:07:28 +0000

I love your sports themed post on wedding night sex – it is very well done and made me smile!

You highlighted a very important point. Both teams “scoring” doesn’t necessarily mean making her “O”. It didn’t happen for my wife as our wedding night was the first time for both of us but looking back I don’t think we cared all that much. I remember thinking that night as I went to sleep holding my bride that I had waited so long to please in that way (6 years!) that Jesus could now come back and I’d be ok with it 🙂

There are a few things that I wish I knew before my wedding night. All of them tie back to J’s “Take it slow” point, but I’ll expound.

Nights last a long time. Longer than you will champ. Even though you joked in the locker room that you will last all night science will humble you. Despite the risk of being too graphic I’ll attempt to explain it this way and piggy back on J’s metaphor. Once you are ready to finally head for the end zone, home plate, the basket, the goal…enter and stop. Don’t thrust. Just be united and stare into her eyes. Play with her hair. Hug her. Embrace her. Whisper the feelings in your heart softly into her ear. Don’t try to get her off because it isn’t going to happen. I would suggest waiting at least 1 minute (preferably more) before you start thrusting. You won’t last long once you start despite your athletic skills and massive ego.

Use lube. We were luckily enough to have someone let us in on that secret, but just in case others don’t know…yeah use that stuff the first time.

You will probably feel really weird the first time she looks at your fully naked body. Imagine how she feels. Bust out the “Sexy hero pose” to make you both feel at ease.

Lastly, don’t treat your wife’s body like you would a new car. There are a lot of new features and exiting things to look at, touch, feel, kiss. It’s overwhelming the first time you get to see all of it, and have access to it, all at once. Don’t work yourself into a frenzy. It’s fine to explore (make sure she gives you the green light before you assume everything is on limits) but you can’t possibly touch all of the parts you want to at the same time. And even if you could she probably wouldn’t like it.

J, you’ve blessed so many. Keep up the great work. I look forward to checking your site every Monday and Thursday for great sex tips from a Biblical perspective.

Jon

By: J

Thu, 23 Jan 2014 20:23:18 +0000

In reply to Osborn4. Thanks! That means a lot coming from a guy. (I'm feeling all sports-like still and wish I could high-five you! :) )

By: Osborn4

Osborn4 — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 20:07:28 +0000

This would make a great little booklet to give to a nearly married man. Include the linked to articles as additional chapter., maybe.