Sex is not the icing in marriage. It is one of the important part of what makes up marriage. It is a God given gift to humanity to populate. I think we are misunderstanding the icing part. “Icing” are the extras. The extra cheese on your pizza or spaghetti, the extra cream on your cake, the extra bonus on your compensations, extra cherries on your ice cream, etc. that just makes it all sweeter. Honestly, we are very greedy people. Most of us are not fully satisfied with what we simply have in life, so we look for the “icing” the stuff that just makes life exciting, exhilarating, breath taking, challenging, to stretch out just how far, how great, how bad it can really get for us. Sex is a holy gift from God in marriage to have a family, to be a family, but unfortunately, none of us believe in this stuff anymore. Now a days, sex is an entertainment, a fun thing to do, an exercise, a hunger, like what we all see in movies, and all the extra “Icing” that they show us. We learn, we adapt, and how unfortunate it is that all the “icings” that we learn and adapt to corrupts the mind, because we are greedy people. Why do some people cheat? It is the extra “Icing” the extra thrill, that some people can’t get enough of. So sex becomes corrupt when we are not satisfied with what we ought to just simply love…Life. Sex is Life giving, should be. For it is a gift from God.
Genesis 2:24
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 1:28
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

I get what you’re saying, but our current culture can take the “that’s just not who I am” thing too far. If the way someone is negatively impacts their life and relationships, maybe that way needs to be reconsidered. So if one spouse thinks it’s icing and ignores sex to the detriment of the marriage, that’s a problem. I’m certainly not forcing anyone to accept that idea, but I do hope to persuade. Thanks for your comment!

We can debate how essential it is, but i have noticed if the sex is “bad”, the marriage suffers. The quality of the sex is more essential than the quantity. A buffet with all the bad food you can eat for free is not much of a bargain.

Yes, I sometimes hear the charge that I think sex is the only important thing in marriage because that’s the area I write about. No indeed. I certainly believe sex is essential — an ingredient in the cake — but you’d better have other stuff in there too, like companionship and respect. Thanks for your comment!

*smile*