Comments on: 3 G-Words to Improve Your Marriage

By: J

Thu, 22 May 2014 22:00:33 +0000

My marriage sucked. Seriously. I had YEARS and YEARS when I didn’t know if we would make it, and I certainly didn’t know HOW. I clung onto my commitment and a sliver of hope with my bare fingernails at times. So, while I can’t speak for anyone else, I know my husband and I both entertained the option of leaving when we were so unhappy…and seemed to make each other unhappy. So honestly, my heart goes out to you not merely in sympathy, but empathy. (Because did I mention that my marriage sucked?)

I am genuinely happy now, though. Truly, deeply happy and more spiritually mature and hopeful about our future. It can be a struggle to have faith, but moving from seemingly-doomed to emotionally healthy is possible. Given what you’re saying, I’d suggest that you stop looking at the whole relationship and everything that needs to be fixed. That can be so overwhelming and feel so hopeless. Instead, just live this one day the way you want to be toward your husband — gracious, generous, growing. Take one moment and one day at a time. Things didn’t change for us overnight, but through consistent application of biblical principles and praying for God’s support in helping me living those out in love. At some point, the scales tipped, and I could see that our marriage would be okay, or even more than okay. And indeed, it’s quite satisfying.

You’re in my prayers!!!

By: J

Thu, 22 May 2014 21:51:22 +0000

In reply to happywife. Thanks for sharing your story. I pray for your husband's continued recovery! Many blessings.

By: J

Thu, 22 May 2014 21:50:33 +0000

In reply to Amy. Oh, I love that! GRATITUDE! Wonderful addition.

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 22 May 2014 17:12:44 +0000

Great post! I really needed this message today. I know I don’t always show grace or generosity like I should to my husband, and just this morning on my walk I started praising God for my husband and thinking on what made me first fall in love with him. Immediately I felt all the negativity I admit to harboring for the past week lift from me.
So, I would add one more G-word to your list — gratefulness! Thanking God for our spouse and telling our spouse how grateful we are for them. Gratitude goes a long way to keeping our focus on the positive.

By: happywife

happywife — Thu, 22 May 2014 15:13:10 +0000

I love a good alliteration!
My husband is a recovering alcoholic, and it was while he was still in the “pre-recovery” stage of his disease that I had to learn to show grace, generosity and choose to seek for growth in my marriage. Grace helped me to love him when he wasn’t capable of loving himself. I specifically remember one evening when he came home from work, clearly having been drinking. I stood at the kitchen sink wanting to hurl rage at him. Instead, God told me to go give him a backrub. Seriously… you want me to be nice to him? So, I went back to the bedroom where he was showering and when he was done, I told him to come lay down on the bed. As I gave him that backrub, my anger slowly turned to love and compassion. I learned something that night… that as I am willing to surrender my own right to be angry, God will enable me to love unconditionally and selflessly. I know that he was also touched by my sacrificial act of love, but experiencing that change of heart within myself was powerful. It really does do wonders for a marriage when you are able to look beyond your spouses faults and love them for who they are today.

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 22 May 2014 14:49:25 +0000

I struggle with these things greatly and am so scared to do them. I am in a reconciled marriage with a lot of past baggage. I gave him my all before and even then he wasn’t honest with me about various things and stepped outside the marriage. There’s an extensive past. But how do I try to move past this and show him grace and generosity when all I am afraid of is it will be taken for granted again. I have the mindset now I refuse to be a doormat. But want our marriage to grow and be successful. I don’t want to be angry, bitter and afraid. I don’t want a repeat. But I want a growing, Godly successful marriage. Any help or guidance would be appreciated.

By: IntimacySeeker

IntimacySeeker — Thu, 22 May 2014 14:48:52 +0000

I appreciate your insight and encouragement and especially, the easy-to-remember “3 G-Words.” I am so driven about progress in our marriage that I can sometimes focus on what we have not accomplished and become very frustrated with my own stumbling blocks. When this happens, I miss out on enjoying the day-to-day goodness that we have in our relationship.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Thu, 22 May 2014 14:33:09 +0000

You make excellent points in this post, in fact, I love this entire blog and Iknow you couldn’t speak openly and honestly if you (or Shelia or Julie or any one of your blog colleagues) didn’t experience and live what you advise. And maybe its just my cynical mentality of late, but it seems to me that there is no way your marriage (or any of those other bligger ladies 🙂 ) could have ever experienced the lowest of low or the messiness that I or the hundreds of others like me experience on a day to day basis when anything and everything we/I try (including LOADS of prayer in all forms) just seems pointless. Its demoralizing to an extent when each and every day brings more of the same no matter how hard I try to have a radical change of heart and mind. And I keep wondering when this looonngggg season of discontent will end but sometimes feel that I am destined forever in it.

By: Gaye @CalmHealthySexy

Gaye @CalmHealthySexy — Thu, 22 May 2014 13:13:26 +0000

Hi J – This is really great encouragement. My tendency is to be selfish and lazy and focused on me. So I appreciate the reminder to be focus on my husband and the ways I can bless and encourage him.