Thank you so much. I’m glad to know you’re seeking answers and working on your intimacy with your husband. A few other posts that might be helpful: 3 G-Words to Improve Your Marriage; My Husband Is the Best Lover I’ve Ever Had; and The Gospel in the Bedroom.

Blessings, Bee! Thanks for reading.

Thanks so much! I’m always happy to hear the husband’s perspective. I appreciate you shedding light on this topic.

Think about the context. The bottom line is he is just asking you to try something different that he thinks would be fun to try, and if he worded it that way instead of mentioning someone else, or by saying he has already done it and liked it, you would feel so differently….you would be curious at least, if not interested. Choose to believe his intent is to make great memories with you.

I like the discussion this question has brought about. You absolutely have to be having sex with your husband, want it, want him, pursue him, be trusting and open. I will say that sex for men is an emotional need far much more than the physical. Only with my wife have I experienced the desire, pursuit and the level of complete trust that allows me to feel all of the emotions that I have learned I can feel from sex. I can feel a range of emotions from love, respect, admiration, and a greater sense of confidence in every other area of my life. I’m happier, more successful at work, more focused, better with my kids. If I used that to measure lovers who could compare to my wife? Nobody! Marriage is the framework God intended for you to be able to fully experience sex.

I have to agree with you J, if I look back maybe there were relationships, but nothing ever that compares to my marriage.

I was engaged to another woman when I met my wife, so somewhere is a woman I really cared about once but I don’t ever think about her. If anything it comes up in conversations about how I met my wife, and usually my wife brings it up. I think in a way she might even be proud of that and she deserves to be. She won, I chose her and I still choose her.

As I wrote below, If i make a mistake it is usually her and right after my wife says “that wasn’t me” she says “you chose me remember.” I keep nothing to remind me, but it wouldn’t have mattered, I just don’t think about her. So from a guy, when it comes to sex, my thoughts are all about my wife, our past, present and our future together, never the past I wish never happened. The lovely woman I share my life and my God with, is the only one I care about.