Keep pursuing the beauty and intimacy God desires for you! Many blessings. Thanks for your encouragement!

I will also say that since many young husbands often do not know how married women talk freely about sex, intimacy and marriage and many young husbands are shocked to hear they do, because again men do not and many would not, so don’t surprise him ladies. Most men do not object to their wives discussing something that will help her, if it is respectful to him and helpful to her, and men expect their wives to understand the boundaries first. Ladies he quit talking about your intimacy, for the most part before he decided to put a ring on your finger, you are pretty special to him. Maybe he did as a girlfriend but never his wife.

Oversharing can be problematic, so I urge caution. Bra cup size is not a good comparison because married men can tell that with a quick glance, even if they are not really looking, and don’t care.

If a man has a really good friend or an accountability partner that might be a difference but most husbands just don’t have the close friends that women do, and I would encourage men to find one, if they can. Obviously there are exceptions. I find men who actually do talk about a sexual issue or even a marital issue with a close friend tend to have a marriage in trouble, so aside from a bad joke complaining about infrequency. Which is actually a real problem, since that’s the glue holding your marriage together. Men just don’t discuss their wives and intimacy with other men, as in a general rule. Ladies you may talk candidly about sexual frequency to see if you are on the right path to finding what works in your marriage, but aside from a joke to say it’s not enough he never would. Anyway that’s my experience practically.

God Bless!!!

That being said, I don’t have a super great past with it. Curiosity about sex that my mom wouldn’t talk to me about led me to search magazines and the internet for answers when I was 12, which led to years of slavery to pornography and masturbation. God delivered me from my addiction to pornography, praise Him, but the other issue has lasted far, far longer in my life. By God’s grace He has been delivering me from this and leading me into an ever more pure lifestyle. My boyfriend also has had the exact same struggles, and like me, has been delivered from the one and battles the other on a daily basis. We are each other’s greatest support system, even though many in the church would frown upon us even talking about it with each other. We love and care for each other deeply, and that enables us to really spur each other on towards a more godly lifestyle, and express how proud we are of the other when we are doing well, and restore the other when we fail. Besides, date seriously as burgeoning 20’s and tell me you won’t ever discuss sex! ha! Especially when you seriously believe you’re going to be married someday. But I digress. I never gave myself to anyone, but I’ve gone farther with my boyfriend than I should have. God has been helping us purify our relationship and I am happy to say that things are so much better nowadays than they had been for many months when we struggled and failed frequently. But after all of this background, my idea of sex has been on an emotional roller coaster ride over the years. Recently I even started to dread the idea of it someday. But I can happily say that God has been restoring my views of sex, repainting them the way that he intended them to look, just as he’s been restoring my purity, my boyfriend’s purity, and our purity together. Sex is now something that I look forward to very much.

As someone who does have such a mind for the future, though, and has been seeking to rewrite her ideas about sex in light of how God created it, I am one to research! I have had so many questions, fears, worries, and things that just terrify me about my future sex life! Stumbling across your blog and reading through some of these posts has given me a better idea of what I have to look forward to, and peace about some of those fears. A couple of your posts have even brought about some much-needed healing for some deep-seated pain wrought on my heart by past struggles. I just wanted to post to let you know how grateful I am for that. Thank you for writing a blog that not only is helpful for already married adults, but is also helpful for soon-to-be married young adults who want to know more about what they have to look forward to and want to shape their views to be more informed by the Lord.

God bless you.

Well, you are in the trenches, Felicia. You have my admiration, my prayers, and best wishes. Blessings for all you do!

Interesting thought, Jerry. But I do think the hubby would be uncomfortable in the same room and I couldn’t talk as freely as I do with my close friends. Not because I’m disrespectful to him, but because my mode of communication in that circumstance is different and he might read small things differently in the moment than he would seeing the big picture later. Does that make sense?

But yes, I think we wives should be acutely aware of how important respect it to husbands and how we can convey it.

This was a nice response to last week’s post and responses. This is a subject which men and women approach from very different positions.

I believe that most women do not understand how easy it is to appear disrespectful to their husband. Some men, no matter how “macho” they may appear might well be very sensitive inside.

A good exercise is to ask your husband what communicates respect and honor to him. It may surprise some of your fans how different we each feel about respect in the smallest forms.

You’re picture of the “recording” for your husband is good. Another suggestion is to ask how would he respond if he was in the same room?

You do a great job with a difficult subject set.

Thanks — Jerry Stumpf

And yeah…I’ve also had a friend joke about her husband’s…size…and it’s awkward. If you wouldn’t want your husband chatting about your breast size, than you can show the same courtesy and not discuss his penis either.