Comments on: Q&A: Will Frequent Yeses Turn My Husband into a Sex Maniac?

By: angie

angie — Tue, 30 Jun 2015 20:59:30 +0000

Untrue. Actually, many men stray even though they are satisfied at home sexually. I have struggled for years being the higher sex drive spouse.. My husband was just shut down and rejected any advance. My self esteem was so low and any time I heard a wife complain about their husband chasing them around I cried and wanted to slap her. Be thankful your husband is attracted to you. My saving grace was actually having a baby 7 months ago. My drive is significantly lower due to stress, fatigue, and nursing. Luckily my husband and I had a really open conversation a few months after baby was born about why I need the physical intimacy so badly. I pulled up a few articles about why some women have physical needs similar to men and it helped soooooooo much! He could finally see and hear what I needed him to! He apologized for causing me so much pain and swore to never refuse my advances again and to also make an effort to ” chase ” me! So for both sexes who need more physical intimacy, there is hope!

By: princevinco

princevinco — Wed, 24 Jun 2015 20:59:36 +0000

A good sex is the one in which both parties are satisfied and fulfilled, so as a wife it is the focus or attitude that satisfying the sexual demands of your husband that you are doing him a favour. This is a wrong attitude toward sexual demands from your husband. That your husband is the one demanding for sex most of the time does not mean that he enjoys the sexual relationship alone unless that is what some women want us to believe.

In fact, the more your husband demands sex from you the more his heart is with you and the less he is tempted to seek for sexual satisfaction outside your matrimonial home. Quite often, men who got involved, that is men who got involved in infidelity are men whose sexual demands and desires are not met by their wives. A good wife should satisfy the sexual needs of her husband and a good husband should at all time ensure that a good sexual atmosphere is created for the wife to meet up with his sexual desires.

By: J

Wed, 24 Jun 2015 19:40:51 +0000

In reply to Re' S. Well-stated. :)

By: Re' S

Re' S — Wed, 24 Jun 2015 19:37:50 +0000

in my own experience, when my wife dealt with her issues from her past sexual abuse and because open to sex almost whenever I wanted, at first I tested her asking for it much more than I needed it wondering if I was dreaming. And for awhile I was more than a little scared I was dreaming and pushed her for it as often as possible with rarely, if ever a denial from her.

That’s been about a year or so ago. Now we’ve settled into a rythem of 2-3 times a week. But if it’s less, it doesn’t really matter or even bother me. For me, having access to my wife whenever I need her has significantly reduced my need for sex.

This sums it up. When I was starving I ate what ever I could get my hands on, never knowing if it would be my last meal. Now that I’m well fed I’m still not Limey to turn down a new offered me, but I’m not going to gorge myself because I know I will get the nourishment I need.

By: J

Mon, 22 Jun 2015 02:29:10 +0000

In reply to K. Thanks so much for adding your perspective. Really appreciate it, K! Blessings.

By: K

Sun, 21 Jun 2015 20:41:56 +0000

In reply to B.

You say you can’t talk to him about it….

I am a higher drive husband. For years I struggled with being interested when she wasn’t. I knew she loved me and wanted to please me, but she just wasn’t interested. I knew it was painful to her when I would try to share the pain this caused me. Eventually, we came to the place where we could talk about this more openly. I think the key was for me to communicate that I loved her regardless. My advice is that if you’re hurting, tell your spouse all about it even if it causes him/her pain. Communicate that you don’t want to pain them and that you love them, but you have to share how you feel and you need their comfort (they can comfort you even without sex). This way, you can both be hurt and in pain together and then comfort each other. For us, I think this is leading us to a better way.

By: Paul Byerly

Paul Byerly — Sat, 20 Jun 2015 03:38:51 +0000

J – Great thoughts on both counts.
In my limited experaince, those who are sexually repressed are also spiritually repressed. legalistic maybe, but repressed. Those who are able to be open with one usually mange to grow in the other in healthy ways.

By: J from elsewhere

J from elsewhere — Fri, 19 Jun 2015 11:50:22 +0000

In reply to Ol' Will. ouch, this sounds painful

By: Best Christian Sex Links of the Week | Married Christian Sex

Best Christian Sex Links of the Week | Married Christian Sex — Wed, 17 Jun 2015 21:26:25 +0000

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By: B

Wed, 17 Jun 2015 13:35:22 +0000

Sometimes I’m afraid my obsession with “not being enough” for my husband has become an idol. I obsess over it and it takes up a great deal of my time.

The weird thing is, he’s a great provider, he tells me he loves me so much multiple times a day. He claims he thinks I’m pretty and he likes my body. He likes to hold my hand and snuggle – things that would thrill most women. But his lack of interest and our lack of marital intimacy screams “you’re not enough, you’ll never be as good as other women, he does not love you.”

Being a higher drive wife is awful! I feel like he’s not attracted to me and I’ll never be good enough for him. And yet he “says” he loves me so much, it drives me insane. I wish he’d understand. I can’t talk to him or it makes him feel like he’s not man enough and I NEVER want him to feel that way. But it’s becoming an unhealthy obsession of mine, an idol, if you will. I have no idea why Keelie and Dan’s comments struck a chord with me, but they did. Perhaps that was God’s plan.

Thanks, J, for providing a place for all of us to go and share and help one another.