I’m a little horrified that you mentioned my blog and porn in the same breath. (Okay, I was a lot horrified at first. LOL.) But I do hope to provide real-world information and frank advice based on a solid biblical foundation. Thanks so much for reading!

Wow, Rebecca. Thanks for sharing this! And no, it isn’t me. Must be the Holy Spirit! Many blessings!

And I bet your husband, though he always loved you, is thrilled.

Also, I was thinking it would be nice to have a program/book that can help soon-to-be spouses prepare for sex. I had 5-10% of premarital counseling that talked about sex. Sex is such a HUGE part of marriage that it should be talked about WAY more than that during marriage counseling.

I remember, about a year ago, my husband and I got into yet another argument about how we didn’t have sex enough. I thought it was silly to constantly doing it so much, juvenile as I mentioned above. I knew my friends didn’t have sex as often as he wanted to with me, so it didnt feel fair to me to always have to do it. He’s mentioned before that it got physically painful to wait so long to have sex. But this time, I decided to do research online. I landed on a forum full of people talking about their failing marriages, because of the lack of sex and sacrifice and love toward each other. I did discover that it really was a physical need for most husbands and I just couldn’t believe some of the burdens these men were carrying. I decided then and there I would never let my husband carry that burden. I then searched for Christian sex blogs and found yours. I found a post called “be his sure thing” and it was the most eye opening concept for me. I cried remembering the times I have let him down and how he was walking on eggshells not knowing if I would respond yes or no. That poor man. I decided then I would never say no to him again.

Since reading that post of yours, we have had the best years of our marriage. Our sex life is incredible now and we know that at the end of the day, we GET to be with each other. It is a privilege and we are basking in it. So that one post, plus the Holy Spirit’s work, changed my life and the way I encourage my friends in their marriages. No more, “its not fair.” Now, I tell my friends they don’t know what they are missing and how sacred it is.

Thank you, J!

Thanks for this. I agree that the comments move my heart in a big way. I’d known for a long time there were problems in many marriages, but reading all the stories… That said, I believe those couples who seek God’s blessing of sexual intimacy in marriage are enjoying far better sex lives. So here I am, trying to encourage that. And I really appreciate your husband for his leadership.

Blessings!

2. What do you want to see on the website?
I was helped in the beginning by the recommendations you had at the bottom of your blog (on my phone) for other marriage bloggers. Since I trusted what you said here, I felt safe to check out their blogs, too. There are a few that I still read semi-regularly.
Your search engine is a good help, but I agree with others that it would be helpful to have a more specific index at the top – how to’s, women’s issues, men’s issues, high libido, low libido, etc

3. What do you want in the newsletter?
I don’t get your newsletter, and am happy with just following your blog for now.

4. How has HHH helped you specifically?
I’ve been reading your blog for close to two years now, I believe. One of the things that has impacted me the most is the fact that you hammered (and hammered and hammered) into my head, that my husband loves MY body. Well, maybe not specifically ME, but in general, and it’s impacted me positively – in and out of bed.
Hubby has been reading the blog about as long. We have many conversations about what you blog/post about, and it has opened up our communication about sex in a huge way.
Another thing – reading the comments, we have realized how many hurting people are out there, somewhat silent in their hurt, and because one can comment anonymously, our eyes have really been opened to some serious issues in marriage, and sex.
Hubby is a pastor, and while I think he would maybe have brought some things up anyway in his sermons, I believe HHH has helped him, especially after realizing the number of people struggling, to be more open about teaching of healthy sexuality. I’m so proud of him for that!
I like how honest and clear you are about things – I really appreciate that. I’m pretty conservative in a lot of ways, and I don’t think that I’ve disagreed with any of the advice you’ve given that I’ve read.
Our marriage and sex life are definitely better thanks to many of your great posts! Thank you for being vulnerable – opening up and sharing, and caring for us out here that maybe wouldn’t have had these intimate “conversations” otherwise.

May God continue to bless you, your husband and sons, and this ministry that He has placed in your hands. Thank you, J!

As for what to see on the website… I really don’t do much there besides read the blog post. ? Can’t think of what else?

DIdn’t realize you had a newsletter, and honestly, just love reading your blog posts.

How has HHH helped me? I mentioned it in the beginning, but just having a place to go to that I can learn more about specifics of pleasing my husband has been awesome. It’s like reading Hustler without the porn! 🙂 THANK YOU for doing what you do! 🙂 And thank you for asking!

Your blog also helped my to get some knowledge prior to marriage and now aa a newlywed. It was a blessing indeed. Although i did not agree with everything and still don’t, ot doesn’t stop me from reading.

as someone else said i would also like to have a search for a topic. I use the search box quite a lot but is not that relevant as having a list of topics.

Thanks

For the newsletter, I would really love a list of everything. I don’t think I miss much, but would be awesome to be able to save the newsletter with all the information from the prior month. Also, that would be easy to email/share.

I think your focus is amazingly right on. Coming from the “sex is bad, don’t do it” parents has left me so internally confused, hurt and pained. I don’t know how I really feel anymore about sex. It’s always been hard to talk about and throw in the addict husband and it feels like a tornado spinning around. Maybe a tornado would be better actually.

As of last night, after a gut feeling things haven’t been on the right path the last week or so, I asked him and basically was told his recovery is in his time and in his way. He doesn’t care that it affects his family – or faith.

Keep up the posts – they are an encouragement to many more than you will ever know.

As for your website, I’d like to be able to search for a specific topic. I think that option is there for computer use, but not for mobile use. I’m almost always reading your blog from my phone!

I don’t get your newsletter. I probably should.

You’ve helped me think more about sex and not push it to the back burner.