You’re right, H. And I’ve written about this too. I believe spousal rape is real, sinful, and highly damaging: Can You Be Raped in Marriage?

A spouse can rape another spouse. This is a very unhealthy view and I pray that no victim of spousal rape ever reads this. Do you really think God approves of a spouse who is forcing themselves into their partner? That’s the literal definition of rape. Distgusting.

No, I haven’t! I’ll check it out. Thanks for the tip.

I’m so sorry for your struggle. Your answer to this question — “Isn’t he the male, who should be wanting sex every day?!” — is not necessarily. An increasing percentage of men are not as sexually interested as their wives. Start with understanding that this is not uncommon and it’s not you, then express your concerns and look for solutions together. If you know he has a thyroid issue, he really needs to see a doctor and deal with that. Insist that he doing so for his health. Blessings!

I was a virgin when I got married…my husband was not, and we were both very “eager.” However, it was EXTREMELY painful for me at first. I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but it was for me! Instead of my husband insisting we have sex everyday of our honeymoon (or three times a day!), he was incredibly slow, patient, and loving. It wasn’t at all the best sex of our marriage, but I gained so much respect for my husband. I was able to trust that he put taking care of me over his own desires.

OF COURSE there is such a thing as spousal rape. What about a wife who just gave birth and her husband decides he wants sex the next day after she’s ripped end-to-end? Do you think he’s entitled to that because she said yes to marriage? I’m thrilled that you would never treat your wife that way. However, not every husband takes this attitude, and some men flat out abuse their wives, even in the marital bedroom.

3 times a day? That would actually pretty hard on a virgin, given that these are new muscles being put to use. Just saying that things can get sore. If the couple wants to go at it 3 times a day, sure, but you have a lifetime to make love!

and sex every day for two weeks on honeymoon? My dear, there should be sex at least three times a day for those two weeks!

I have to say that technically there can be NO SUCH THING as spousal rape. Consent was given by marrying. That being said, there is still no excuse to be so inconsiderate of another’s feelings to be causing pain, especially physical pain. I decided long before I found my wife that if a woman was no more valuable than to be physically abused, why on earth would you be married to her. I would be out the door forever before I would physically abuse my wife!